


Someone worth racing for

by someone_worth_racing_for



Series: Someone worth racing for [2]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Dorks in Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, From friends to lovers, Giver and taker, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Lando being Lando, Life Changing Decisions, M/M, Slow Burn, and Carlos being Carlos, baby Lando in love, many cuddle times, many tears, more than just friends, second half of season 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2020-11-22 11:51:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 89,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20873759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someone_worth_racing_for/pseuds/someone_worth_racing_for
Summary: This is more or less the continuation from my last Formula one Fanfiction called „Tomorrow will be kinder“.You don’t necessary need to read my last one to understand my new story here. If you want you can dive into this new one right now ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is more or less the continuation from my last Formula one Fanfiction called „Tomorrow will be kinder“.  
You don’t necessary need to read my last one to understand my new story here. If you want you can dive into this new one right now ;)

Since the heart breaking race back in Spa, Lando and Carlos had slept every night together in one bed, whenever they got the chance to. Of course not when they were at home, but every night on a race weekend or when they were somewhere because of their jobs, sleeping in the same hotel. Just whenever they could, whenever they were near enough to each other.

It became normal, a routine for them to spend the night together. To sleep in the same bed, after a long day and waking up next to each other after a restful night. They had probably played FIFA or some other game on their Play Station the evening before, had watched a movie together or had just talked about everything and nothing, before they fell asleep in the same bed.

Everything had started on the already mentioned weekend back in Belgium, but the Friday on the next week in Italy was the decisive factor. Lando knew Carlos had probably pity with him the last week. He had maybe wanted to take care of him or he just also didn’t want to be alone, after the horrible accident in Spa.

The last days were rough, sometimes even cruel. Finally at home again, Lando did realize how much the past weekend had changed his life. His family was always worried about him racing, but nothing will be like before again after these days.

Lando’s father got always sick, when he watched his son racing. But on Sunday he wasn’t even able to follow the race for just one minute without feeling sick and having the need to go to the toilet. He just couldn’t go on watching. His mother was like always also very scared and worried about her son. Tears were falling over her face, when she could finally hold Lando in her arms again.

Also his brother and two sisters looked changed. They did also hug him, longer than usual. Lando himself felt different too, but he couldn’t name or describe how he felt and what exactly had changed. Finally his mother addressed to Saturday night before the race and after they had got the sad news. So told him how sorry they were for not being able to be by his side. She wanted to know how he was sleeping or if he could have slept at all, after they had spoken on the phone.

Lando then told his parents about Carlos staying by his side the whole night long, making sure he was alright. But still the young Brit didn’t mention the last night, doing exactly the same. He somehow felt a little embarrassed about it, even when they were only sleeping in the same bed.

His parents looked very relieved about this information. Of course, the two of them had already got to know his older team-mate. Lando’s father shortly after he had asked his son, if the Spaniard was nice to him and his mother a few weekends later. Like every woman, she has fallen for his charm instantly and was very glad to know her son in such good hands.

During the days everything seemed almost normal again. Lando did play with Max together on his computer, he had to train, did have one media meeting on Wednesday and the rest of his free time he spent together with his family and friends.

But on the evenings, when he was laying alone in his bed and stared at the ceiling, he always felt the worst. He wasn’t ill or something like that, he just didn’t feel like he should. Lando thought a lot about Anthoine, about his accident, the risks of his biggest passion, the next race, about Sunday’s evening at the racetrack, about all the drivers there around the campfire, about Carlos, about the way his eyes were sparkling, about falling asleep next to him.

Silent tears were rolling over his cheeks, while he thought about so many things all at the same time. He didn’t want to be alone, he wanted Carlos to be close to him so bad. Lando was nervous, even scared, because he didn’t know what was going on with himself. Something was wrong, he just didn’t exactly know what it was in that moment.

But what had happened last weekend couldn’t be the reason any more, why the Spaniard would sleep in one bed with his younger team-mate in Monza again. The young Brit knew that, but still he missed his team-mate’s near. Even when Lando had already spent every night during the past week alone, but with Carlos being close to him the whole day long now again and knowing that he was so near, just a few rooms away from him, made him wish for it so much.

But he was too damn scared and also ashamed about it to ask for. And the older one also didn’t say one word, asked him or made a move to go with his younger team-mate into his room. So Lando fell asleep alone that evening, already having this strange feeling deep inside his belly.

Hours later the young Brit woke up bathed in sweat and a wild rising chest and heart. Quickly he sat up, suddenly having the need to vomit. Lando felt horrible and couldn’t calm down after his scary nightmare. Even after his body had quieted a little and he didn’t have the urge to vomit in the very next second any more, the young racer was still scared to his bones and afraid about closing his eyes again.

The thought about falling alone asleep again let him freeze and he began to tremble on his whole body. He couldn’t fall asleep all on his own again, too horrified about having the same nightmare once more. Lando could only think about one thing any more, about one person. Carlos. He was the only one in which arms he would feel safe again. He was the only one who was able to calm him down again. The Spaniard was his only solution and help.

Desperately the Brit searched for his mobile phone, but he just wasn’t able to find it in the mess of his sheets and pillows. Before he will begin to feel even more hysterical, Lando got on his feet, opened his hotel room door and walked the corridor down to where he knew Carlos’ room was.

Barefoot, just with his short sleeping pants and pyjama shirt on, he knocked against his door. Still scared the young man sucked his under lip between his teeth, till the door got finally opened. Carlos looked very sleepy, but also confused and maybe even a little annoyed about why someone was knocking at his door in the middle of the night.

But when the Spaniard finally got it through his tired eyes, that it was his little team-mate, his gaze became soft but also worried. The older one was also only standing with his pyjama on in the doorway, his dark hair in a perfect mess, while he looked that concerned way down at the Brit and finally asked with a sleepy but also worried voice “Lando. What happened?”

“Nightmare.” Was all the young man was able to say, still shocked from the aftermaths of his dream. Carlos opened his mouth, but he didn’t say anything. He just nodded understanding his head and already let his younger team-mate slip inside his room.

Even before the Spaniard could close the door again, Lando had already crawled under his bed sheets and laid on the spot on the mattress, where Carlos’ must have laid just seconds before, because it was still so warm there. He made himself comfortable on that spot, let out noises of comfort and sniffed in his team-mate’s already so familiar scent he had missed so much.

The older one smiled to himself, when he saw the young racer crawling into his bed like that and pulling the blanket up to his nose. Quickly Carlos got on the other side of the bed and finally laid himself next to his already waiting friend on the mattress. The young man crawled instantly closer to him, before the Spaniard pulled him gently into his side with his arm around his shoulders.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked softly and even when the Brit did shake his head, he still whispered “It was about the accident.” Of course Carlos exactly knew about which accident his younger team-mate was talking. Understanding he nodded his head and pulled Lando only even closer against his chest then.

“It’s okay, little one. You are safe now, nothing can hurt you any more. Try to get some more rest. I’m here.” The Brit already held himself tightly onto his team-mate’s shirt, still not believing it how wonderful Carlos was and how glad he was to have him. “Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed.” Lando whispered, while his eyes were already closed and he soaked up the Spaniard’s near and warmth.

“Always, little one. Sleep well. I got you.” Carlos whispered into the darkness, he rubbed his palm up and down Lando’s back and kissed the top of his head protectively. He was already half trough entering the land of dreams, enjoying his older friend’s warmth, near and touches so much that the Brit got lost in the pleasure and forgot about everything.

He didn’t think about it, didn’t even know he was saying it out loud, till he did. “I have missed you.” Lando whispered into the silence. He could feel Carlos smile against the top of his head, before he placed a soft kiss into his locks and whispered back “I have missed you too, little one.”

With these words still floating through his head, the younger man slowly began to drift off. Like always when the older one was holding him so tight like right now in his arms, he fell asleep very quickly and he didn’t have any nightmares again.

Next evening they played FIFA together in Carlos’ room and when they both began to yaw and it became time to go to bed, Lando just looked at his older team-mate without saying one word. The Spaniard just smiled softly understanding at him and nodded agreeing his head to his unspoken question, before the younger one already crawled under the sheets of his bed again.

From that evening on they were sleeping every night together, without the need to ask about the permission of the other one any more. They just stayed at the place where they were at that moment. One time it was Carlos’ room and on the next day it was Lando’s.

And even when they had fooled around just moments ago, being the dorks they used to be around each other, they still cuddled under the blankets, their arms wrapped tight around their bodies, sniffing the smell of their skins and stroking each other’s skin with their fingertips. It was almost like they were in another world, when they got to bed together.

After that night in Italy, the young Brit had some nightmares from time to time. Not such bad ones, but still Carlos did shush him softly, while he held him protective in his arms and did cradle him, till his body wasn’t shaking any more. He also hummed quietly some Spanish songs and even when the younger one didn’t understand one word, he still calmed down by the melody and his voice, while he held himself onto Carlos’ shirt.

The young Brit didn’t have any nightmares since a long time, but still he wanted to sleep with his older team-mate in one bed together. Just in the case and because his body was screaming for his near. He was already used to it and couldn’t imagine it any more to sleep alone, when he could have him close instead.

Being together every night also showed the other their sleeping habits. Lando always stole Carlos’ blanket while he was sleeping, never getting enough. But that wasn’t so bad, because the Spaniard just crawled closer to him then to cuddle himself even more against his warm, small body. The young racer also liked to speak a little before falling abruptly asleep from one second to the other.

The older one did snore from time to time. It were more deep breathings through his mouth and the young Brit even liked them. Because they gave him the feeling of comfort and the knowing about his friend being still close to him, while he had his eyes closed and smiled to himself about it.

Carlos also always laughed about the fact that Lando did need pretty much space in bed, even when he was so thin and small. He sometimes rolled from one end to the other during the night. But the young Brit kept it to himself about his friend speaking in Spanish while he was sleeping. Even when he couldn’t understand one word, he still enjoyed the quiet, soft whispers during the night.

Even when Carlos was sometimes speaking with his father a little longer, had an interview or still had to talk with someone of the team and it was already late, he still came to Lando’s room, if the younger one wasn’t already lying in his bed and waited impatiently for him to finally come. Sometimes Lando didn’t want to fall asleep on his own, so he waited for his team-mate the whole time, till he finally sneaked into the room.

But sometimes the Brit was already sleeping, when the older one cuddled himself next to him. “I have really tried to stay awake, to wait for you.” Lando always told him then in his half sleep, while Carlos did crawl closer to him. “It’s okay, little one. I’m here now.” The Spaniard told him with a smile on his lips, while he couldn’t keep his eyes away from him any more.

Lando hated the nights he had to spend all on his own at home. He did really miss his team-mate’s company in these lonely nights. His near, his warmth, his scent, his touches, his soft kisses against his head. That was why he looked even more forward to the race weekends, so he could finally cuddle up with the Spaniard again and he would find his peace again.

Of course, they didn’t tell anybody about their new habit, even when they were just sleeping next to each other. God forbid if the media would find out. The other probably wouldn’t understand it nether, would even interpret too much into it. Something what really wasn’t there, something what really wasn’t between them.


	2. Chapter 2

Lando was a little worried about the next week, because he will already fly to Singapore on Wednesday. Almost everyone did scare him a little about this race, so he wanted to arrive there sooner to get used to the climate, the hug time shift, the high temperature even during the nights and also prepare for the racing track he had never raced even one lap before. And this all also meant to be alone for over one week, without Carlos.

It was even harder than the young Brit had first thought. The climate was almost unbearable, he still had a damn jetlag and he missed his older team-mate so much especially while he should be sleeping. But Lando tried to give his best. He did train much, did try to distract himself as much as he could and every evening he told himself the nights he still had to spend all alone, till Carlos will finally arrive here too.

One week after his own arrival, the Spaniard finally came and Lando couldn’t tell with words how damn happy he was to finally see him again. And something told him about the older one feeling the same way. Of course, they had spoken often and had written each other messages, but it wasn’t the same.

The second they had finally seen each other again, they hugged and Lando needed to stay close to him for a moment, before Carlos ruffled his hair and said amused “Your hair looks even curlier today.” The young racer did roll his eyes, because he was already annoyed about his hair being this way since days. “Yeah, it’s the weather here. They curl even more because of the humidity.”

Even when the older one got it that Lando wasn’t so happy about how his hair was looking at the moment, he still or maybe even because of that he told him truthfully “I like it this way. It feels even fluffier now.” After he moved his fingers through his locks for one more time, he pulled his arm over his shoulders and they both got to their motor home, while Lando was smiling like a little kid on Christmas morning, happy about having his friend finally back.

That evening the two team-mates talked much. Carlos tried to give the Brit as much helpful information as he could, giving him good-meant advices for the racetrack he still never had driven before. But the Spaniard helped him the most with just being here, next to his side.

Carlos stayed by Lando, they were both already laying on their sides in the king-sized bed, watching a movie even when it was already in the middle of the night, but their jetlag just didn’t let them to fall asleep anytime soon. The young racer always liked it the most, when they were both only wearing their boxers.

He really enjoyed their skin to skin contact. It was always great to cuddle with his older team-mate, but feeling his warm, smooth skin against his was even better. A bad goose bump broke free everywhere on his body then and it only caused Carlos to pull his friend even closer, thinking he was freezing in the air-conditioned room. Lando was never so glad before to become goose bumps, even when he actually felt so warm and comforted in his friend’s arms like hadn’t since the last time they were together.

Even when they were already laying close to each other before, the older one did close the small distance between their bodies completely, when he did spoon his younger friend. Lando would lie, if he would say he didn’t like his near, touches and warmth, but still he looked over his shoulder back to his friend and asked excessively outraged “Why do I have to be the little spoon?” The question was unnecessary, because the answer was more than just obvious and they both knew so.

Carlos did laugh behind his back, before he told him still all amused “Mate, you aren’t even the little spoon. You are more like a tea spoon.” Lando laughed out loud then and so did the older one too, before he pulled him even closer with crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Hours later, it was already light outside, but still way too soon to stand up right now, the young Brit began to move still laying in his friend’s arms. Lando still wasn’t used to the time shift, he couldn’t fall asleep again, while he thought about so many things all at the same time. His movements had finally also woken up Carlos, who was still very tired from his travel.

“Sleep, little tea spoon.” He whispered, his eyes still closed while doing so, but a sleepy smile was playing on his lips. The young racer smiled to himself, before he cuddled closer against his chest and tried to forget his worries and excitement about the coming and just enjoying the moment. Carlos was right again once more, he should try to get some more rest, he will need it.

But didn’t matter how long or how good he would have slept, nothing would have prepared him from the coming, from the happening in the qualification. Everything went great first. Lando was in a good condition, his car did work the way he wanted it to do. Q1 was good, Q2 even better, but then he did fuck up everything because he couldn’t get enough.

After the qualification Carlos had only seen his younger team-mate from far away, before they both already got shoved to the interviews. Also there the younger one was out of his reach, but the Spaniard could exactly see how much the happening did employ him. He could see the tears glistening in his eyes, even from far away.

Carlos did want to get over to him and check if he was alright, even when he saw already from here that he really wasn’t. After he had ended his current interview quickly but also nicely, he just wanted to go over to his younger friend, when Carlos got it that he was suddenly gone, when he turned around into his direction the next time.

Without thinking about it, he left the place to search now really all worriedly for his team-mate. They both shouldn’t have left the interviews already now, he exactly knew that, but he couldn’t leave Lando all alone right now. He almost ran through their motor home, asking everyone who came along his way, if they have seen the Brit anywhere.

But mostly they looked confused back at him, before Carlos kept on his way. He did call for the younger one, but like he had expected an answer wasn’t coming. The Spaniard just passed by a few rooms, when he heard a knocking sound, which did stop his tracks. He listened to it two more times, before he quickly opened the door to where he thought the sound was coming from.

The sound did really came from his younger team-mate, but even when he was relieved to finally have found him, Carlos was still shocked about seeing him standing there in the corner and pounding his fist into the wall. The Brit had his eyes pressed closed and hadn’t heard him coming in, only when he the Spaniard’s worried voice finally came to his ears “Lando. Stop it. Please.”

The younger one did like he got told, but didn’t move his fist away from the wall. His eyes were still closed, when his breathing became faster and unsteady. Carlos was quickly by his side, laid one hand protecting on top of shoulder, while he tried with his other to remove carefully his fist from the wall.

Only when the older one did turn him in his arms around, Lando opened his eyes slowly and the first thing he saw was his blood smeared hand. Also the Spaniard gasped by that view, but the younger ones breathing got even faster and more unsteady, while he looked at his own blood with widened eyes.

Carlos first thought his friend couldn’t see any blood, but then he quickly got it. Lando had a panic attack. “Hey. It’s okay. Everything will be good, little one.” The Spaniard tried to calm him down, while he leaded him over to the small couch on the other side of the room.

Carlos sat down, pulling Lando on top of his lap, before the younger one cave in between his arms. The Spaniard gently guided his head to rest under his chin, so the younger racer’s cheek was pressing against his chest. Carlos did try to shush him, cradled him calmly in his arms and whispered soothing things into his ear, while Lando’s body did still shake from top to bottom, his breathing also wasn’t in a normal rhythm again and even when these tears were still glistening his eyes, they didn’t fall over the edge.

Even after minutes had already passed he didn’t or maybe couldn’t calm down again and Carlos did slowly start to really worry about his little friend. “Lando, listen. Try to match my breathing. Please.” The Spaniard almost begged him, before he did inhale deep and exhale loudly a few times and he could tell the young Brit was trying his very best, but still his breathing was way too fast and he will soon see black, if he will keep doing this way.

“Slower, little one.” Carlos whispered softly into his ear. “I.. can’t..” Lando tried to answer him with a small, shaking voice. He did start to panic even more with this knowledge. Concerned but still being sure to help his younger team-mate, the Spaniard did lift Lando’s chin carefully with his index finger, so they were able to look into each other’s eyes.

“You can do this, Lando. I know you can. I believe in you. Just try it one more time. For me, little one.” Carlos told him calmly and while they didn’t stop the connection between their eyes, the young Brit finally made it.

When his breathing got slower and slower with ever breathe and his body wasn’t trembling so much any more, the older one did place Lando’s head back against his chest and held him with a good pleasure in his arms. The younger one listened to his friend’s heartbeat, while the panic slowly left his body. “Yeah, like that. Keep going, little one. I have got you.” Carlos whispered into his locks, while he never stopped to cradle him softly.

They both didn’t know how long they were sitting like that. It could have been a few minutes, but also over one hour, but when the older one saw the still present blood on the Brit’s hand, he knew what to do next. Lando had already calmed down enough to place him on his own on the sofa for a few moments, till Carlos came back with the first aid bag, which was hanging next to the door on the wall.

He got on his knees in front of Lando to take a look at his still lightly shaking hand. The younger one did eye him, while Carlos looked for the disinfectant spray in the bag. “It will probably hurt a little now. But it needs to be done so it won’t get sore.” Lando’s expression changed into pain distorted and also a small whimper left his lips, when the liquid touched his wound.

“It’s good. I’m almost finished. Just let me get that bandage around it.” Carlos told him, trying to calm him down, while he did roll the material carefully over his wound. Even more softly the Spaniard brought Lando’s injured hand half-way to his face, before he kissed the back of his fingers.

“It will be alright, little one.” He whispered, while the young racer looked with exhausted eyes down at him. “I’m so tired.” He answered in response. “It’s normal to feel this way here. Everyone feels so. Come here.” Carlos spoke to him softly, while he reached for the blanket laying on the other end of the sofa, placing it over his younger team-mate’s shoulders and pulling him into his side.

They stayed like that, didn’t say one more word, while Lando just leaned against his friend and his eyes slowly began to get heavier and heavier with every minute. But before he could fall asleep, someone did knock at the door. Carlos was angry about whoever had interrupted them so shortly before Lando would have found his peace.

When the Spaniard opened the door and saw Lando’s father standing there, he quickly let him step inside the room. When the man saw his son already half sleeping and laying there on top of the sofa with a bandaged hand, he looked over to Carlos, tapped his shoulders in a very thankful way, before he got over to his son.

“Dad.” Lando whined, why the man sat next to him and quickly took him into his arms. The Spaniard knew when it was time to go, because they both needed some time on their own and he really didn’t want to disturb them. Carlos knew Lando was in good hands, it was his father, but still he looked back at him for one more second to make sure he will be alright.

After, the older one left father and son alone, thinking to himself how thankful he was for Lando’s father to be here this time. Carlos did talk to his team once more, ate something for dinner before he got to his hotel room. He was already lying in bed, not really expecting a message from his younger team-mate tonight any more, because his father was probably still at his place, but then his mobile phone rang and even without looking he just knew it had to be him.

‘Are you still up?’ Lando had written, he was obviously alone now and within seconds the older one answered ‘Yeah. Do you want me to come over to you?’ Carlos didn’t have to wait long for his friend’s next message and even before the answer came, he already pulled over his shirt, making himself ready to leave. ‘Please.’ More Lando hadn’t written and he also didn’t have to, because the Spaniard exactly knew how much he needed him at the moment.

One minute later he was already standing in front of his hotel room door and knocked on it. In the very next second Lando already opened it for him and they had looked at each other for only one quick moment, when the younger one already tear up and ran back to fall down face first on top of his bed.

Carlos entered the dark room, closing the door behind him, before he followed his friend and sat himself next to him on the soft mattress. Lando still hadn’t cried, till now. It was like seeing Carlos did always break his walls. He also couldn’t cry while his father was by his side, he only felt comfortable enough to do so around his older team-mate. Even when he hated himself for that. Carlos was probably already annoyed about it to see him cry so often in the last time and it was also always him who had to comfort him then.

“Do you want to talk about it?” The Spaniard asked carefully, while he rubbed his palm up and down Lando’s sobbing back. “No. There isn’t anything to talk about. I’m just stupid. So unbelieving stupid.” He cried out, his face still pressed into the pillow. “Don’t say something like that, little one. You really aren’t stupid. You know that. It’s okay. Such things can happen.” Carlos said in a calming voice, he did only meant it good, but still it didn’t calm down his friend. Even the contrary.

Breathing was getting hard with his nose pressed deep into the pillow and also his sobs didn’t make it any better, so Lando laid his right cheek onto the back of his left hand, showing his friend his back while doing so. He didn’t want him to see him like that. “No, it’s not okay and I didn’t want it to happen to me. Everything went so well and then I messed it up. I just had to. Why does these things always happen to me? I have worked so hard for it. I’m such an idiot.”

“You are not, little one, and they don’t. Do you really think I have never made this mistake before?” Carlos’ words and the way he spoke, made Lando lift his head and look over into his direction, even when seconds before he hadn’t wanted his team-mate to see him like that, but he had to make sure, if he had really meant it serious.

“You have? But it’s a stupid rookie mistake, if anyway?” The young Brit asked confused and caused the Spaniard to smile, before he answered “Even if you don’t believe me, but one day I was also a rookie. And yes, this mistake happened more than once to me. But it’s okay. It’s not the end of the world.”

Carlos leaned down then and followed each line of his tear strained face softly, while Lando leaned into his touch and even closed his eyes for a moment. “What if I make the same mistake tomorrow? What if I fuck up the race too?” Tears already began to build up in his eyes again, just thinking about it.

“You won’t, little one. Don’t even think about it. You should even be proud about yourself. You came into Q3 and will be under the best ten at the start tomorrow. If you don’t be, I’m at least proud of you.” But Lando didn’t want to listen to his friend’s well-meant words. He just couldn’t take them at the moment, thinking about not deserving them.

Instead, he kept on speaking and Carlos let him because he knew he needed it “I lost my concentration today. It was so freaking hot in that damn car, I was still so tired, I just couldn’t hold it together any more. Even after you have given me so many tips. I’m sorry for not heeding them, but I’m too weak for it. I mean, I’m already here since over one week, because everyone told about this race being the hardest from all and still I fucked up. I can’t do this, because I’m not good enough. I shouldn’t even be here.”

The words did blurt out of his mouth without a stop, only when his voice had broken he stopped and buried his face into the pillow again. Maybe it did sound wrong, but Carlos thought about Lando being a little success spoiled after his till now so amazing carrier. He was always one of the bests, if not even the best, but now he was in the middle field, he wasn’t in one of the best teams, even when they were at least the best of the rest, the podiums were far away and sometimes he also wasn’t able to give his best, like today.

Formula one was so much different from anything else he had experienced till now. Lando still had to learn so much, especially patience, but Carlos exactly knew he will make it. It was his rookie year, he got still influenced so easily, many things did overwhelm, stress him out or even scary him about which Carlos wasn’t even thinking any more. Of course, there were drivers who were even younger than him right now in their rookie year, but you just couldn't compare Lando to Charles or even Max.

But on the other hand his will to always give his best, his hard work and his stubborn will make him to one of the bests one day, if not a world champion one day. And the Spaniard couldn’t wait to see him on the very top podium, smiling this cheeky smile down at him and telling him with that ‘I have always told you’ and Carlos will only be able to stand there, clap into his hands while he will look up at him and shake his head unbelieving.

The young Brit did deserve it so much, already now, but the older one knew it was still a hard way to get there, but he will always be there to help him, like in this moment. Even when right now all what Carlos could do was pulling him into a tight hug and telling him truthfully, even when he knew he didn’t want to hear it at the moment.

“That’s not true, little one, you know that. But, it’s still okay, nothing you have to be ashamed for. Everyone loses it at this race some point over the weekend. Your point was already today, better than tomorrow. Everyone has to fight here from new every time, it’s really not because you are weak. In contrast. You tried everything, you were so strong, gave your very best and tomorrow you will get the result, you will see. I freaking believe in you.” 

Lando had to smile to himself, he had to even when he didn’t have want to, when Carlos had tried to speak like he used to by his last words. “It still feels awful.” The young racer said calmer now, even when the tears were still running down his face. “I know, little one. I know.” The Spaniard whispered against his head, before they kept laying in silence for the next minutes.

Carlos finally broke the silence, when he whispered “What about your hand? Does it still hurt?” They both looked down at Lando’s still bandaged hand, before the young racer answered “No, it’s alright.” But he didn’t tell his friend about his thought about deserving it after everything.

“That’s good.” The Spaniard answered grateful, before he ruffled his fingers through his messy locks. “And now be a nice little tea spoon and make some space for me. I’m almost falling over the edge.” Lando smiled, while he robbed away from his friend just so the older one could follow him and catch him with his arms around his small body again. How much Carlos did adore it to see him smile like that.

“Don’t be so hard to yourself, while I’m so proud of you.” Carlos whispered, while they both could only see each other’s eyes glistening in the darkness. When the Spaniard leaned down, Lando had expected him to place a kiss on his cheek, like he had already done so often and it probably was also Carlos’ intention, but then he suddenly hit the corner of his mouth with his lips in the darkness.

Their warm lips brushed for a brief moment softly against each other and Lando was very glad about the darkness, because his cheeks began to blush instantly. He knew it wasn’t his intention and from what he could see Carlos wasn’t as embarrassed as himself, but still it did cause something to tingle deep inside his belly.

“Why do you even take care of me?” Lando suddenly heard himself whispering, he wasn’t aware about saying it out loud. But still Carlos answered him and he could hear the smile out of his voice “Because you are my little team-mate. And I really like you, you know that.”

“I also like you and I care about you too, but aren’t we kind of rivals?” The young Brit asked carefully. “Maybe on the track and not even there really. But right now we are friends and I can’t see you like that, even when it means you being better than me tomorrow.” Carlos smiled and even when both knew about the Spaniard being the number one driver of their team, no one ever said so and the older one also never let his team-mate feel this way. “You know this won’t happen.” Lando told him, while he cuddled himself closer into his side, suddenly feeling very tired. “We will see, little one. We will see.”

And really. Lando did end the race on a better place than Carlos the next day, again actually. After the race, when the two team-mates had the chance to talk under four eyes, the younger one said how sorry he was for what had happened to him during the race. And even seeing it with his own eyes, just happening in front of his own car, caused Lando to have even more pity for his friend.

“It’s okay, little one. It really is. It would just be nice to finally end the race at least under the top ten again. But at least I had some fights in contrast to you guys in the front raw. Did you plan to go window shopping or what were you doing?” Carlos teased, before he pulled Lando into his side, thanking him so for his words and compassion.

The younger one was still close to his team-mate, had rested his palm on top of his chest right next to his head, where he listened to his heartbeat, when he whispered “Thank you for believing in me.” Carlos added his second arm on his back and pulled him gently closer so he could kiss the top of his head and whisper back “Always, little one. Always.”


	3. Chapter 3

Sochi was finally nice to them, to both of the McLaren drivers. This time even also to Carlos who did deserve it so much after his DNF in Spa and Monza and the last race without any points back in Singapore.

He did race so great today, letting Lando just stare at his performance with an opened mouth. The young Brit himself was a little angry and disappointed, because he could have been at least two places closer to his team-mate, if he wouldn’t have done this mistake. It was his bad, but he tried to forget about it, because he still made points and he also wanted to be in a good mood for his friend.

“You were great, just a little unlucky.” Carlos had tried to cheer him up and Lando really didn’t want to make him down or destroy his joy. He forgot about his thoughts and was just happy for his friend and his great result.

They had a good time, did celebrate a little in their private jet after everything was over and the pressure of the weekend was gone. They had so much fun, it was nice to feel this relieved after such a long time again.

Lando and Carlos had a good time, did fool around and laughed much. It was so great to spend time with him together, especially when the Spaniard was so happy about his race.

But when the celebrating became less, also the adrenalin and joy did start to leave their bodies again and instead they began to feel so powerless and tired. Finally they found themselves half sitting half laying on their seats next to each other. The lights inside this part of the jet were dimmed, it was quiet, the two of them being alone here at the moment, their bodies wrapped up in a thin blanket.

Lando first watched some streams on his phone with his headphones on, but he ended up with listening to some music, while he had his eyes closed and did doze a little. Carlos next to him did read a book, but even when he was focused on the story, he still watched his younger friend from the corner of his eyes from time to time.

Finally Lando had enough from music, took the head phones away and leaned himself against his older team-mate’s side. The Spaniard smiled down to him, thinking for the thousand time about Lando not even knowing about how damn loveable he was, especially when he was all soft and tired.

The young Brit let out noises of comfort, while he leaned even deeper into his side, clutched his arms around the Spaniard’s left arm like a little monkey and rubbed his cheek against his upper arm. “I want to cuddle.” Lando whined, trying to get Carlos to do so, to get him down to him with his noises and movements.

Now a big smile was playing on the older ones lips, when he lifted his arm carefully, on which the younger one was still holding himself onto, to stroke through his soft locks. “I know, little one. But we can’t do this here.” Carlos whispered down to him, to which Lando did response with a disappointed whine.

Even when the older one did want the same as his team-mate, Carlos was still aware about where they were and who was around them and could come in with every moment. They just couldn’t cuddle like when they were all alone inside their hotel rooms.

But still he didn’t bring it over his heart to tell Lando to let go of his arm and stop leaning himself against his shoulder. The younger one was already so tired, looking for some comfort and warmth to lull him into sleep. It was okay this way.

To still give his little friend some comfort back, he let his arm hang over the armrest on his side, so he could wrap almost his whole body around it, like it was his life. Lando even pinched Carlos’ hand between his tights, so he couldn’t slip out of his grip any more, even when he would have never done so.

“Sleep well, little one.” The Spaniard whispered, before he placed a warm kiss into his curls. It was enough for Lando to enter the land of dreams, while Carlos stroked the inside of his upper leg through the blanket and leaned his head against his, while he kept on reading in his book for some more.

But at one point Carlos also wasn’t able any more to keep his eyes opened, so he laid the book away and closed his eyes, while he leaned himself against Lando and he was still holding his arm tightly.

While he did drift off into sleep, the Spaniard thought about a few days ago, when after some training Lando came all exhausted and tired into his hotel room and let himself fall down on the couch in the corner. Of course, Carlos noticed his state, so he got closer to him and when he laid his hand on top of his shoulder the younger one flinched together badly.

“Neck training?” The older one asked in compassion to which Lando just nodded carefully his head. “Did Jon gave you at least a massage after?” Carlos asked like it was his trainer’s intention to give him such a struggle, while he let himself sink down on the couch next to him.

“Yeah, but it still hurts.” Lando sighed, while he rubbed at his hurting neck. The Spaniard just couldn’t see his younger friend like that, so he suggested well-meant “I could give a massage if you want?”

“Do you even know how it works?” The young Brit asked all amused and also unbelieving. “Sure. At least people told me so. I have magic hands.” Lando raised his eyebrows sceptically, but before he could protest Carlos already took him by his hand and leaded him over to his king-sized bed.

“Take off your shirt.” He commented, which caused to stop his friend’s tracks. “Huh?” Carlos rolled his eyes, while he took the bed sheets away. “How should I massage you right otherwise? Don’t worry, I won’t break your tiny shoulders. So c’mon now.”

The young racer finally gave in and pulled his shirt over his head, before he laid himself on his belly on top of the soft mattress. When Carlos’ fingers touched his skin for the first time, he almost flinched together by the contact.

“Try to relax. I won’t hurt you.” Carlos whispered, while he went on with his work. Soon he could feel Lando’s muscles relax under his fingertips, he let himself fall deeper into the mattress, while he closed his eyes enjoying. His lips also let out noises of comfort, how much he liked and enjoyed his touches.

“Is it okay this way?” Carlos still asked, before the younger one almost began to moan, when he tried to answer “It feels so good.” A smile was playing on the older ones lips, while he kept on. Being happy to make his friend feel good, even when he didn’t really know what he was actually doing. But he seemed to like it, even much.

Lando had lost his sense of time since how long the older one was already massaging his neck, shoulder and back. It felt so damn good. His hands were so warm and soft, a lot lighter and more careful than Jon’s, but it was exactly what he needed so much right now.

He let himself fall into Carlos’ touches. Feeling so warm and cared from the inside of his body. They didn’t say anything since a half eternity, he let the Spaniard do his work with his magical fingers, let him do whatever he wanted. God, he was so right. They were really magical.

Still Carlos stopped at one point, thinking about that his younger friend had probably already fallen asleep, when he pulled the blanket over his bare back and laid himself next to him on the bed. Lando opened his eyes a split, when he felt the mattress move next to him.

Still all relaxed he pulled his arms under his pillow and stretched himself long. “Do you feel better?” Carlos whispered, while he watched him with his dark brown eyes. “Yeah, thank you.” He smiled in response, but the older one knew there still had to be something more.

“Better, but not good. Right?” Lando felt caught, when his cheeks began to blush a little. The Spaniard already knew him almost too well. Slowly the young racer nodded his head and when he felt the first tears burn in his eyes, he looked away from the man lying next to him and was giving him that already knowing look.

“You are homesick. Isn’t it?” Of course, Carlos had noticed how often Lando was talking to his family in the last time and the expression he had after they had hanged up. Every day he thought he called them one more time more often than the day before. He had compassion with him, but still he knew he couldn’t change it. Carlos wasn’t his family, he couldn’t replace them.

“Maybe a little.” Lando whispered which turned out more like a whine, before he buried his face for one moment into the pillow to whip the first clear tears away with it. “I know, it’s been weeks since the last time you were at home, but just a few more days, little one. You are doing so great. I bet they are very proud about you.”

Carlos let his hand disappear under the blanket, searching for Lando’s still bare back, where he did draw little circles with his fingertips into his skin to give him some comfort. Even when the Spaniard wasn’t his family, he still didn’t know how much he meant to the young Brit. How damn glad he was to have him close and always being so compassionate.

Even when tears were running down his face, Lando smiled at his friend, when he whispered “Thank you, Carlos. I wouldn’t make it without you.” The Spaniard smiled back at him and answered truthfully “No, you would, little one. You would.”

Carlos still smile to himself, when he thought about that afternoon, even in his sleep. Lando was so much stronger than he thought. But still he did understand him and he was happy about Lando’s father being with them last week, so his team-mate had seen him at least for some days and the desire for his family was silenced for the first so he could take some strength out of it for the last days.

That afternoon the two of them had a nap right where they were. After they played some games on their PlayStation, before they got to dinner with some other drivers. Carlos gave his very best to distract his younger team-mate, so he won’t think too much about his family back home.

About two hours later the Spaniard woke up again in their private jet and the first thing he saw melted his heart. During sleep Lando had slipped down his seat completely. His head was laying on top of Carlos’ lap now and because he was facing him, the older one could watch his sweet face, while he was sleeping so peacefully.

Lando’s position did look a little uncomfortable, while he laid with angled legs in the direction of the window, across over his seat, his hands clutched the thin material of the blanket. Carlos looked around himself. They were still alone and even if not, he wouldn’t wake up Lando, while he slept so peacefully like that.

Carefully the Spaniard pulled the blanket over his team-mate’s body, after it had slipped down at some point. He would give him his own blanket to have it even warmer, if the fabric wouldn’t be sandwiched between their bodies.

It did almost burst Carlos’ heart, while he eyed his friend sleeping like that. He looked like an angel. His curls were in this sweet mess like always when he was asleep, his lips had formed a pout and his lashes did look even longer than usual, while he had his eyes closed and breathed so quietly and deep.

Very gently Carlos did stroke his warm cheeks with the back of his fingers, thinking about how beautiful Lando actually was. The older one would do anything to protect him. He won’t ever let any harm close to him. Damn, he best wanted to wrap him up in bubble wrap and hide him forever inside his soft bed. But at the same time he knew he couldn’t. But because of that he exactly knew how precious such moments like these were.

The Spaniard had lost his sense of time, he didn’t know how long he was already watching his younger team-mate, when the other did come back to their places, because they would land soon. Carlos wished he could change it, but for Lando’s own safety he also needed to sit up and fasten his seatbelt.

“Lando. Little one, you have to wake up.” The Spaniard whispered down to him. When he didn’t start to move or at least open his eyes, Carlos stroked his body awake trough the blanket and tried once more “I know you are tired, but you have to sit up. We are landing soon.”

The younger once eyes began to flutter and still very sleepy he looked up to him. “What happened?” Lando asked confused with a quiet, still from sleep filled voice. “Nothing. Everything is alright. You just have to sit up. Let me help you.”

Lando did Carlos do almost the whole work, but he didn’t bother, because he knew how exhausted his younger team-mate was after so many weeks away from home. Gently he helped him to sit up and fastened his seatbelt, before the young Brit already leaned himself against his shoulder again.

“Just five more minutes.” Lando whined, after he had yawed long. “Alright. Just let me tell the pilot to fly some rounds over London.” Carlos told him all sarcastic, but his friend was already asleep again and just glad to be close to him.

It broke his heart, but the Spaniard had to wake up Lando, after they had landed all safe. It took him five minutes to bring his younger team-mate to let his eyes opened and to not fall over. Carlos helped the younger one to shoulder his bag, even when he almost fell asleep again, while he was standing.

Even after minutes he was still walking almost remote-controlled and after the third time he had almost run into someone or something, because he had almost dozed off even while he was walking, Carlos pulled his arm over his shoulder and guided him to the suitcases.

Best he had wanted to take him up into his arms, it would have been so much easier, but of course he couldn’t just carry him through the airport. Somehow he managed it to take care of both of their suitcases with one hand, while he did support Lando still with his other.

When they were finally sitting in the Taxi, the young Brit was asleep instantly again, but this time it was alright. Carlos pulled him closer, being all tired himself too. About twenty minutes later they had finally reached their hotel and everything began from new.

“Come one, little one. You have almost made it.” The older one whispered to him encouraging, but Lando looked more like he was sleepwalking, when they entered the lobby. While Carlos asked for their room keys, the younger one wrapped his arms around his middle and cuddled himself closer into his side, more asleep than awake again.

The woman behind the desk did eye Lando sceptical, before Carlos told her about the past weeks being very exhausting for his friend. Somehow he managed to manoeuvre their two suitcases and themselves into the elevator. “I’m so tired. Why don’t you hold still for just one moment?” Lando whined and complained, while he cuddled himself even tighter around his friend’s body to finally stop his movements.

Carlos smiled to himself, while he looked at his younger team-mate. “If you had helped me a little we would already be lying in bed. But don’t worry, soon you can sleep, little one.” Synchronized the elevator door opened and the Spaniard did lead Lando and their stuff outside and looked for their rooms.

“Here we are.” Carlos said thankfully about his team-mates room being so close to the elevator, because if not, Lando would have probably fallen asleep on the floor. After he had opened the door, the Spaniard pushed their suitcases inside and let them fall down in the next corner. Only when he looked over his shoulder he noticed about Lando not followed him.

When he looked out on the floor, he saw his team-mate lean against the wall, he somehow managed to still stand, while he was obviously asleep again. “You are such a baby, when you are tired.” Carlos rolled his eyes in amusement, when he got over to him and whispered “But a very sweet baby actually. Come here, little one.” He had enough, he was tired himself and just wanted to fall into bed.

So the Spaniard lifted the younger one up into his arms and said while doing so, even when Lando probably couldn’t hear him any more “Damn, you are heavier than you look.” He carried him inside, where he placed him carefully on top of the soft mattress. Carlos even held his head gently, when he put him down. Lando let out noises of comfort, when he felt the soft blanket and pillow under his body.

The older one did help him out of his shoes and clothes, till he was only laying with his boxers on inside the bed any more. Lovingly he did pull the warm blanket over his small body and if the Spaniard was serious, he was way too exhausted himself to get to his own hotel room now.

Even if he would bring his suitcase there, he would still slip back into Lando’s room again after. So Carlos stayed where he was, got out of his own clothes and finally laid himself next to his friend under the bed sheets.

The young Brit crawled closer to him instantly, getting his near even when he was so tired. Carlos pulled his arm over him and let him cuddle into his side. “It’s alright. I got you.” He whispered against his forehead, before he placed there a warm kiss. “You are at home again, little baby.” Sleep also found Carlos easily, never letting go of his younger team-mate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who also imagine Lando this way, when he is all sleepy? ;)


	4. Chapter 4

They had just landed in Japan and on Wednesday they already had their first press meetings. Carlos had spotted his younger team-mate only on the late afternoon again, after their meetings were over. He really couldn’t believe his eyes. Lando was looking so incredible good in this dark blue suit.

Carlos had already noticed about Lando getting hotter and hotter with each day. He was slowly growing out of his baby face and became a real man, even when it was still there most of the time. But sometimes it just made him speechless about how handsome he was on his own perfect way.

Inside the fabric it was still him, still the so young man with the big, cheeky smile, but it let him look a little older than in his usual clothes. It suited him very well, so good that Carlos couldn’t keep his eyes away from him.

Easily the younger one caught him staring, he even got over to his side then and told him a little uncomfortable “They didn’t tell me how to dress. I have quickly bought it in England, before I got to the airport. If I had known that I was allowed to go to the meeting in my usual clothes, I wouldn’t have made myself so many thoughts about what to wear. I look so damn overdressed.”

The Spaniard just wanted to tell his friend how good he was actually looking and that he shouldn’t worry about it any more, when Nico and Max stopped in front of them to talk a little. The four men finally decided to go for dinner together and after they wanted to go to a very popular club here in town.

So Carlos and Lando got into their hotel rooms to change clothes. The older one was surprised about it, when his team-mate finally entered his room with the same clothes as before. He had just changed his shoes. Maybe he had finally looked into the mirror and saw how sexy he was actually looking with these clothes on.

But still the Spaniard could tell about something being wrong, while he eyed Lando sitting down on the couch in the corner of his room, while he took on some aftershave and perfume.

Carlos asked him something and when he didn’t get an answer from him in response, he looked out of the bathroom to where he was sitting. “Lando? Everything alright?” He asked him a little worried, already knowing right now about something being wrong.

“Yeah. All good.” The young Brit answered, while he was obviously reading something really hard on his phone. He didn’t even look away from the screen, he seemed a little annoyed, but also frustrated. The older one didn’t want to pressure him. If he wanted to talk about it, he will come to him to tell him on his own and Carlos would be there to listen.

After the Spaniard was finished, he sat himself next to his friend on the couch and pulled out his own phone, while Lando took his away, like he didn’t want him to see what he was doing the whole time.

“Nico said the club is amazing. He was already there a few times. He also promised that they have great cocktails there.” Carlos told him, but again Lando didn’t response more than a small grumble. The older one just checked his Instagram feed, when Lando added “Only a pity I can’t have any of them nor come with you there.”

Carlos took his phone away then and eyed his friend close. “Why? Don’t you feel good?” The younger one sighed, while he did avoid his eyes, looking down at his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, before he finally said it out loud with a small voice “In Japan you are only allowed to go out and drink alcohol when you are twenty.”

First Carlos didn’t understand, he himself didn’t think about this problem since so many years any more. He had totally forgetting about this rule even existing and about his team-mate being still so young.

He knew it was wrong, very wrong even, but he just couldn’t stop himself when he did burst out laughing, when he had finally realized that this was the reason why Lando was so down and what he had done the whole time on his phone. He had checked the youth act in Japan. And why he was so annoyed suddenly.

The young Brit flinched together, he wasn’t expecting his friend to laugh about his problem. He was already very ashamed and also embarrassed, so he turned away from him and muttered “You are such an idiot.”

The older one needed his whole effort to keep it together, pressed his lips close, while still some laughers escaped his throat. “I’m sorry, little one. It really wasn’t my intention to laugh at you, but sometimes I forget about you being still so young.”

Lando had his arms crossed in front of his chest, while he looked sadly at the ground. “I don’t forget. I get remembered about it every day. And I hate it.” He muttered, before he sighted deep. Carlos just wanted to tell him that there was nothing bad about being so young, but before he could even open his mouth, the young Brit said all offended “Alright. Then I will stay here alone.”

His voice did sound angry, but also sad. If he would really want to stay in the hotel, Carlos sure as hell would stay by his side. He would find an excuse for Nico and Max, but he won’t ever let Lando alone. Especially when he was so upset about something which really wasn’t his fault. They would have made themselves a nice evening, but there was still another opinion.

Before Lando could stand up and leave, Carlos took him by his wrist and said “Hey. I’m really sorry. I will stop teasing you from now on, I promise. You can still come with us. You don’t necessary need to drink any alcohol and I’m sure you are allowed to enter the club, when I tell them you are here with me together. An adult who watches you, so you won’t be able to make any nonsense.”

The younger one sighted loudly, bit down on his lower lip, while he thought about it. Finally Lando looked over to him again, when he told him “But what if Max and Nico will laugh at me?” Encouraging Carlos laid his hand on his shoulder, trying to catch his eyes, when he said calming “They won’t laugh at you. It’s not your fault about being still so young. Don’t worry. We will have a great time tonight.”

Lando finally looked at him again and when the Spaniard gave him one of his warm smiles, he finally agreed. “Okay. But I still can’t wait to turn twenty.” Understanding Carlos nodded his head, while he squeezed his friend’s shoulder and answered “I know. But don’t worry, you will always be the little one.”

Lando rolled his eyes in response, but since the beginning he was okay with Carlos calling him like that. But no one else was allowed to do so, only the Spaniard. They both finally stood up and when Carlos laid his arm over his shoulders he said “Believe me, in a few years you will wish to be nineteen again.”

So the four men went for dinner, in a non-sushi-restaurant because Lando wasn’t even able to take the smell of it. Dinner was delicious and their conversations nice and funny, even when the young Brit was quieter than usual and only Carlos knew about the reason. He was a little nervous about what was following.

After dinner, they drove to the club Nico had already talked about so much. The Renault and the Red Bull driver entered first, before Lando was third. He didn’t even dare to look at the man who asked him for his ID instantly.

Nico and Max were already inside the building and the man did raise his eyebrows instantly at Lando, after he had read his birth year on the ID. He just wanted to start speaking, when Carlos laid his hands on top of his friend’s shoulders from behind and told him “He is with me.”

The man finally gave Lando his ID back and let them enter the club too. Carlos smiled down at Lando, while he had his hands still on top of his shoulders and stroked him with his thumbs to calm down his nerves, when the younger one looked up at him.

“Thanks.” Lando whispered, because he didn’t want their friends to know about it. But it was already too late, when Nico asked curious “Where were you two so long?” The Spaniard looked down at Lando, just to see him struggling to find a good answer.

But before he had found one, Max suddenly asked “Why did the man want to see your ID?” Lando sighed, while he looked at Carlos and then back on the ground again. “Because you are only allowed to go to clubs like these and drink alcohol in Japan when you are twenty.” The young Brit whispered ashamed, before his friends looked over to Carlos, then at each other and like him before they did burst out laughing.

The Spaniard flinched together badly, like Lando. He felt sorry for his little team-mate, he had compassion for him. When Nico and Max saw Lando’s expression they quickly stopped and tried to hold it back, so their heads became all red.

“Come on then. Let us get some drinks.” Carlos tried to change the subject, before Lando will get in a bad mood and want to go back to the hotel, where he exactly wished himself at the moment.

They have found a place on the second floor, where they had a great view over the club. Nico asked what they wanted to drink, he will pay the first round. Carlos and Max asked for beer, while Lando asked still all embarrassed for anything without alcohol in it.

Max followed Nico to help him carry the drinks, so Carlos and Lando were alone for some moments. “Do you like it here?” The older one asked his friend to lift the mood, while they both looked around the big room. Lando shrugged his shoulder, he didn’t know what to think about this all here. He never liked places like this.

“Don’t feel this way. It’s okay. It’s not even your fault to be still that young. Everyone from us was once in the same situation. Nothing to be ashamed for.” The older one tried to cheer him up once again. Only when he pulled him into his side for one moment, Lando began to smile again, even when his expression looked still pained.

In the next second Nico and Max were already back again. While Nico held the three beer in his hands, handling Carlos one of them, Max did hold something behind his back. Probably Lando’s drink.

The younger one looked at him sceptical, when he still didn’t give it to him. Nico and Max had already red heads again, while they tried to hold back their laughers. But they did burst out laughing even worse than before, when the Dutch pulled the glass of milk from behind his back and wanted to handle it to Lando.

The young Brit best just wanted to hide himself in the next mouse hole. He was so damn embarrassed, that even in the darkness of the club you could see how red his head and neck had coloured and how much his eyes had widened, while he looked at the glass.

Nico and Max still couldn’t stop laughing, the Dutch almost spilled the glass of milk in his hands, while tears were already running down his cheeks. Carlos could see that Lando was also close to tears, they were already glistening in his still in shook widened eyes, but these weren’t tears of happiness.

The Spaniard was first as shocked as his younger team-mate, but when he got his state, he finally gripped the glass of milk from Max’s grip and said with a strong, loud voice “Stop it, you two idiots.”

They were both a little surprised about Carlos’ reaction and also about the tone of his voice. “Don’t be so stupid and make fun of him. It’s really not nice at all.” Finally then they stopped to smile completely and looked over to Lando, who had his look lowered and his arms crossed in front of his chest to protect himself. “But you are also always teasing him.” Max said to his defence and also Nico nodded his head.

“Yeah, but I’m allowed to. I’m his team-mate.” Carlos winked at Lando, after he had looked up at him by his words. “So just stop it and let us have some fun instead.” The Spaniard suggested, while he handled Lando the glass of milk and the four of them did finally clink glasses. The young Brit himself had to smile himself, when he saw the three beers and his milk glass next to each other.

After that, the night went pretty great. They had a lot of fun, maybe Max even too much. By the end he was already pretty drunken. Nico drank a lot too, but he could handle it way better than the young Dutch. Carlos also drank some beer, but not too many. He still had to watch out for his underage friend, who had gone from milk to some non-alcohol cocktail.

They had a lot of fun, especially with Max and his state. They even sang karaoke together and when they stormed the dance floor Lando first didn’t want to come with them. Carlos just took him by his hand then and dragged him with them. The young Brit was obviously very uncomfortable, while the other three, especially Max, didn’t have a problem with dancing at all. Finally Lando also got warm and moved his body at least a little.

It was in the middle of the night, when they finally called a taxi and drove to their hotel. The fun went on during the drive, because Max couldn’t stop laughing any more. Finally at their hotel, they all had their rooms on the same floor, but when they passed by Lando’s room first and he didn’t make a move, just kept going on like the other, Nico asked him confused “Isn’t this your room, Lando?”

The smaller one got a little embarrassed, because actually he had wanted to follow Carlos into his room, like usual. He hadn’t really thought about it and felt now stupid for it. The Spaniard exactly knew about it of course, so he just winked at him to tell him with that to come over to him later, after their two friends were inside their rooms.

They wished each other good night, before they got separated ways. Carlos could still hear Max giggling, when he closed his door. He sent Lando a quick message that he will take a shower, but he will leave his door opened, so he could come in after he was finished.

And so Lando did. He could still hear the shower, when he entered his friend’s hotel room. He sat himself on top of his bed and checked his Instagram feed. When the shower stopped and the bathroom door got opened, a big steam cloud followed Carlos when he stepped outside.

Lando just couldn’t help himself. He had to stare at his friend and his perfect trained body. His dark brown hair was still all wet and slicked to his forehead. His whole skin did shine from the still present wetness. The soft light from inside the bathroom did show his athletic body in the right light. Lando felt so hot from one second to the other, like he had just taken a shower and not his team-mate.

The younger one had to swallow thickly, while he watched Carlos just with his very tight boxers on going over to his wardrobe to look for a comfy shirt for the night. When the Spaniard stretched himself to get the shirt on the very top, Lando dropped his phone unwanted, his lips opened a split and his mouth suddenly felt so dry.

“So, you like it?” The older one suddenly asked and let his friend fall out of his thoughts. “Huh?” Lando asked, because he hadn’t given any attention to his words. “The club, of course.” When Carlos looked over his shoulder, he tried to focus again and picked up his phone laying on his belly.

“Yeah. It.. it was pretty fun, after they had stopped teasing.” The young Brit answered, still thanking his friend for his help. After Carlos had brushed his teeth, he laid himself next to his friend into the bed. He placed his arm on top of his forehead, maybe the Spaniard was a little drunken.

Lando rolled on his side, facing the older one, while he kept on looking at his phone. Carlos finally rolled on his belly, pulled his arms under the pillows, while he watched him. “You looked pretty handsome in that suit today.” The Spaniard finally said into the silence. Carlos himself didn’t know why he had said it out loud, maybe he was more drunken than he had actually thought, but Lando’s expression was definitely worth it.

He looked with big eyes up at him, like he couldn’t believe his words. His cheeks did colour in a dark red for the twentieth time tonight and even when he smiled happily, he still avoided his look. “Thanks. You.. you also looked good. Like always.” Lando answered a little unsure, but it still caused Carlos to smile touched.

“I will have a bad headache tomorrow, I already know it now. I can’t wait for it. You can actually call yourself happy, to be not allowed to drink any alcohol yet. I tell you, this stuff isn’t as good as you think.” Carlos whined, while he buried his face into the pillow under him.

“It’s your own fault. I bet my milk tastes a thousand times better than your stinky beer anyway.” Lando told him amused to which the older one answered “That’s for sure. Maybe next time I will also only drink milk. I only get tired from it, but I won’t get any headache.”

The young Brit laughed at his friend, before he said “You will survive it.” Carlos smiled at him, his eyes already closed while he made himself comfortable. “You have no idea, little one.” He was slowly drifting off into sleep, when suddenly he felt a very light touch on his from alcohol reddened cheek.

He opened his eyes sleepily a split, just to see Lando smiling down at him, his cheeks as red as his, but not from any alcohol. His lips still formed the little kiss he had just placed on his skin. “For what was this?” Carlos asked with a from sleep filled voice, while he had his eyes closed again and smiled into his pillow.

“For defending me tonight. Thank you for that.” Lando whispered, while he laid himself next to him again. “You don’t have to thank me for this, little one. I’m the only one to be allowed to annoy you.” Carlos could hear his friend smile next to him, before Lando whispered “Good night, sleep well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else thinks, that the time in Japan did gave us more than we could have ever dreamed for?  
This was only even part one of the japanese Grand Prix, because it was way too great and too many things happened to pack them all in only one chapter ;) so next week will follow part two
> 
> Who else thinks that Lando was the best dressed person in that hot suit that day?
> 
> And the fact, that Mr. Norris wasn't allowed to drink any alcohol makes me still smile over my whole face.
> 
> Japan, you did bless us!


	5. Chapter 5

In the following days they had a lot of fun here in Japan. Some would say almost too much fun, but they really just had a very great time. On Thursday evening Carlos did visit with some members of their team a restaurant, where he ate the best sushi in his whole life. Because Lando wasn’t such a big fan of raw fish, he stayed at the hotel to train a little with Jon and after spend some time together with Sacha.

It was still before midnight, when the Spaniard slipped into his team-mate’s hotel room and even when the night was still young, he found Lando already asleep in his way too big looking bed. It was probably the still present jet lag, which caused his friend to fall asleep already so early.

Carlos smiled to himself, while he closed the door quietly to not wake him up. The television in the corner was still on, his phone was lying near to his hand on the mattress, the screen still bright. He must have been pretty exhausted to fall asleep, while checking his Instagram feed.

As quietly and carefully as possible the older one took his friend’s phone and laid it on the night stand next to him. The same way he searched for the remote control, finding it finally between the bed sheets and he had already turned off the television, when Lando suddenly began to move in his sleep.

Carlos kept on watching him, praying for not having him woken up, because he needed the rest and should keep on sleeping as long as he could. But still their eyes finally met. Dark brown, worried looking once met green, sleepily looking once. “Carlos.” The young Brit almost whined, while he tried to reach out for his team-mate. Carlos’ heart did swell by that sight and the so loveable way his team-mate was acting.

“Hey, little one. You should keep on sleeping.” The older one told him well-meant, when he took his hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of his fingers, while he crawled to him into bed. “I’m sorry. I have really tried to stay awake and wait for you, but I was so tired.”

The Spaniard smiled to himself, while he gently ruffed his younger friend’s messy hair. Sometimes, especially when Lando was all sleepy and soft like right now, he best wanted to kill him with kisses. He was so loveable in these precious moments. How could he not let him into his heart with just the way he was? He had grown fond of him so easily and fast, that he almost couldn’t remember any more how life was before they had met.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry, little one. I’m here now. Come to me.” Carlos whispered into the silence, waiting with stretched out arms for him to crawl closer against his body. Lando didn’t need to hear so twice, he closed the distance between the two of them instantly and made himself all comfortable.

The taller one covered his sweet face with plenty soft kisses, so long till Lando had fallen asleep again. Carlos himself couldn’t sleep already now, so he listened to his friend’s deep breathing, felt his heartbeat against his own chest and inhaled his scent inside his lungs, while he had buried his nose deep inside his wild locks. Carlos couldn’t imagine himself a better way to lull into sleep than having his little team-mate as close as possible.

On Friday evening their fun became even bigger, it just had to with a bowling in their hotel and the knowing about having a day off tomorrow. So Carlos and Lando spent their evening with their friends together. They did have so much fun, did laugh even more and like always the two formula one drivers just couldn’t lose, especially not against each other.

After Lando had made a perfect draw, he thought about being able to beat his older team-mate for at least once. But he really couldn’t believe it, while he watched the way Carlos’ try was heading. The younger one had thought his draw was already perfect, but once again his friend had proofed him wrong. Why did he always have to be so good in everything?

But Lando wasn’t mad at him or at loosing once more against him. If he was serious, he was already used to it and if he could choose, he would always choose the Spaniard to lose against. Carlos was just good in everything he touched.

But still Lando had never believed him to make it, even when it was him, his such great all-rounder team-mate. But when the younger one saw the Spaniard jump up and down, because he was celebrating it so much and was so happy about it, he also just had to smile, even when he still couldn’t believe it.

But then Carlos did turn around to him, and Lando already knew that look on his face, almost like a tiger had focused on his prey. He knew the shine in his eyes already way too well. It was exactly the same expression the Spaniard always had, after every FIFA match he had won against his younger friend or just every time when he was better than him, no matter what it was. Lando really hadn’t expected the following, he was just able to make one jump, but it was already too late then.

The older one was faster, when he caught him easily and pulled him down to himself on the floor. Suddenly the young Brit found himself under his friend, Carlos’ palms were on top of his chest, while he smiled all playfully down at him.

First there was also a smile playing on Lando’s lips, but it did slowly fade away, when he did realize something. That was the look he would get, if Carlos would be on top of him and he would be on bottom. That was how it must look like and it made him speechless.

As quickly as the Spaniard had caught him, as quickly he did pull away from him again, even when Lando wished for him to stay right where he was a little longer. On top of him and looking down at him like the caught boy he was. In his whole life he had never enjoyed it so much to be caught and getting hold still. It had something that made his penis twitch inside his pants and that not only once.

Slowly Lando rolled on his side and finally stood up again. He tried to hide his embarrass, even when he knew his cheeks had some colour and he also hoped for his friends and Carlos to not spot his half hard dick inside his sweatpants.

Lando didn’t care much about their games afterwards, but still he did join the fun with dressing himself as a pin. God, he really hadn’t so much fun on one evening since a very long time. He wasn’t really disappointed in losing once more against Carlos, because the only thing he could think about any more was why his body had reacted the way it had before. Why he did enjoy that sight so much and why he wanted to feel his friend’s body weight on top of his own so badly again. Why it did feel so got to be delivered to his friend.

Qualification was cancelled the next day, but no one did complain about it. Such a relaxed and easy Saturday afternoon on a race weekend they had never before. They played FIFA almost the whole day long. And not only had Carlos lost his game against Max, but also Lando had beaten him more often than usual that afternoon.

The two team-mates were on their way to Lando’s hotel room, to bring their controllers back, while the younger one still teased his friend about his lost game. After their controllers were laying on their places again, Carlos rolled his eyes at his younger friend’s words, but didn’t response anything.

He just wanted to leave, when Lando got maybe a little too excited and happy about having won at least once, when he did attack his older team-mate from behind. He jumped on his back and made them both so fall to the ground.

Not like yesterday, Lando was now the one on top. Even sitting on Carlos, on top of his belly. Still all shocked and confused, the Spaniard looked up at him with widened eyes. He was trapped, because Lando held his arms down to the ground next to his head by his wrists. Carlos wasn’t able to move, he could just stare up at him and ask himself what the hell his friend was doing here.

First Lando was satisfied about having surprised him so bad with it and see the shock so obvious in his expression. They both breathed heavily, while they looked at each other. But then the smile on the young Brit’s lips did slowly fade away and like Carlos underneath him he eyed him curious with slightly opened lips. Lando’s mouth began to water and his heart started to beat faster and louder against his rips, when his eyes caught his friend’s full lips.

They did look so soft and inviting to place a kiss on top of them. Lando was lost, he only had eyes for Carlos’ smooth lips any more. He just wanted to trace them with his fingertips, follow the outlines softly. All fascinated Lando watched Carlos’ fuller and thicker under lip, when he suddenly got the urgent need to suck on it. So he slowly began to lean forward and move closer and closer to his beautiful mouth, not having his own body under control any more.

But he didn’t even reach half-way, when all of sudden Carlos suddenly flipped him over, used his younger friend’s missing attention to his favour. But still the Spaniard had thought Lando to fight back, at least a little. But Carlos took him more than in surprise, he couldn’t even think about reacting to it.

So the older one flipped him around easily, too easy. Lando didn’t even move one muscle so shocked he was and that was also finally why he crashed with his head against the small table next to his bed.

Carlos was himself very surprised about Lando showing no will to fight him, like usually when they did play fighting, but he was pretty shocked, when he noticed about having his friend hurt with it. The young Brit tried to steady himself on his elbow, while he rubbed with his other hand over the spot on his head he had just crashed against the wood. The older one said something all shocked in Spanish, which the young Brit couldn’t understand.

“Lando. Oh, god. I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Does it hurt much?” The Spaniard finally asked all worried, so also his team-mate could understand him now, while he helped him to site up. It didn’t hurt that much, but he must have hit some nerve or something like that, because he could still feel tears building up in his eyes.

When also the older one saw them sparkling, he became even more worried and protective. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I actually haven’t expect you to let me do this so easy.” Carlos excused himself truthfully, while he cupped his face and stroked the soft skin of his cheeks with his thumbs.

“It’s okay. Just hurts a little.” Lando tried to calm him down with a smile, but it only caused a thin line on the older once lips. “Let me take a look at it.” He said all softly, still making himself accusations.

The young Brit did pull his hand slowly away from the still from pain pounding spot. After Carlos had stretched himself to get a better look at it and had moved his friends head a little, he looked close at the lightly reddened spot on his head. Gently he did move with his fingertips over it.

“It’s okay. You aren’t bleeding. But you will probably get a little bump up there.” Carlos diagnosed like a father, whose son had just hurt himself by falling off his bike. He kept on stroking his fingers carefully over the sore spot. His touch felt so good that Lando even closed his eyes while he did so and got goose bumps everywhere on his body. “I’m still so sorry. Should have been more careful.”

Finally the Spaniard leaned down to place a soft kiss on top of his head, before locking their eyes together again and saying with a warm smile on his lips “Kissing it better always helps.” Agreeing Lando nodded, even when he had wished his friend’s lips more somewhere else than on top of his head.

Carlos pulled the younger one into his side, before he stroked some more over his head and cheek. He placed one more kiss against his tremble, before the two of them made themselves ready for training.

Some drivers had decided to make a move night later and because Max was the winner of their FIFA tournament, he was also the one to choose the movie. He went for a horror movie, to Lando’s fright. They were all sitting in a pretty big room, with mattresses spread out everywhere on the floor and a beamer to watch one of Max’s favourite horror movie. Of course, it had to be one of the worst.

Almost everyone was wrapped in a blanket, only Dan and Max were sitting without one upright on the mattress they did share and stared at the movie to not miss even one second of it. Some did pay attention to the movie as well, maybe not that much like the two ex-team-mates, but at least they followed it.

Some talked quietly to each other, some were busy to eat as much popcorn as possible, some checked their phones and some have already fallen asleep. Lando and Carlos shared also one mattress in the last row and even one blanket together and while the younger one of the two of them talked to George and Alex next to him, the Spaniard talked with Nico sitting to his right.

First the two team-mates were only sitting next to each other, but the longer the movie took the more Lando did lean himself against Carlos’ side. He thought about his friend cuddling into his side, because he was already tired, but suddenly Nico’s eyes did wander and stayed by Lando more often and longer, till the blond German finally showed Carlos with a move of his head to look at his younger team-mate as well, before the German gave his attention to the driver sitting next to him.

When Carlos looked at his younger friend then, he almost gasped. Lando was white as chalk, his eyes were widened almost painfully, his breathing fast and heavy, he also seemed to sweat a little, while his fingers did play nervously with his under lip. From the corner of his eyes Carlos could see, that George and Alex had already fallen asleep next to each other, but Lando was still wide awake and something was wrong with him.

“Lando? Do you feel sick? What’s wrong, little one?” Carlos asked already all concerned down to his shaking body. He had never seen him in such a state before and it really worried him. But it seemed like the younger one hadn’t heard him, hadn’t even noticed his eyes on him, because he was so busy to keep it together, whatever made him feel this way so intense.

The Spaniard just wanted to reach out for him, to finally get his team-mate’s attention, when there was a high, shrill scream to hear. Carlos himself was too busy with being worried about his friend, that he probably wouldn’t have even noticed what was going on in the movie, when Lando wouldn’t have shrugged together so badly. All scared the young Brit tried to hide himself behind his older friend’s arm, too afraid to watch the movie for just one more second.

Latest then also Carlos got it and he felt sorry for the younger one instantly and also stupid for not noticing his state sooner. He must have followed the movie since a pretty long time, while the Spaniard was busy to talk to his ex-team-mate. He should have better watched out for him instead.

Quickly the older one pushed himself away from the wall he had leaned onto, so Lando almost fell over by the lost contact. But then he found himself between Carlos’ palms, which did steady him, while he looked that concerned way down at him. “Are you that scared, little one?” He wasn’t teasing, but still Lando got embarrassed.

Slowly he did node his head and he couldn’t stop to look past his team-mate and onto the screen again. “Hey, don’t look at it any more. That’s not good for you. Why haven’t you said anything before?” Carlos asked, while he rubbed up and down his upper arms to calm him down.

The young Brit did shrug his shoulders, before he whispered with a small voice, while his eyes looked from one corner to the other, checking if someone was watching him “I didn’t want them to laugh at me. I hate horror movies.” The older one smiled down at him, he could understand him, he had compassion for him, but still it really wasn’t the right thing for him to watch.

So Carlos placed himself next to his friend again, pulled his arm over Lando’s shoulders to hold him close. He then pulled out his phone and tried to distract him as good as possible with showing him some videos. Every time the movie got louder or the light got brighter, Lando still took a look and his team-mate always whispered into his ear then “Don’t look at it. Just focus on me, little one. It’s over soon, you have almost made it.”

After one loud scream, which got right under his skin, Lando search instinctively for his friend’s hand and gripped it tightly under the blanket. It was almost completely dark inside the room and more than the half was already asleep, so no one could see them cuddled up like that and even when, they both wouldn’t have cared.

Finally Lando was almost already asleep, after Carlos had soothed him so well. The Spaniard didn’t need to show him any videos any more, Lando just needed to hold his hand any more to feel safe. The Spaniard held him close to his body and tried to hide his friend’s look from the movie, whispering sweet words from time to time into his ear.

Lando tried to relax and get all comfortable like always when he was laying in his friend’s arms. By the time when he felt almost asleep, the movie was suddenly over and Lando was more than just relieved about it. But he was also glad for it to have stuck it out till the end, so no one could make fun of him from running out of the room, like he had actually wanted to do it so often the last two hours.

Max and Dan wanted to watch another horror movie, but more than half of the drivers got up, wished the rest good night and left totally sleepy the place to finally go to bed. So Lando and Carlos didn’t really get noticed, when they also stood up and went to the Spaniard’s hotel room.

When they were finally walking all alone trough the hotel’s floors, the young Brit carefully reached for his older team-mate’s hand again. Carlos squeezed his smaller hand lightly, before they entered his room and cuddled even tighter than usual under the bedsheets that night.

Since Lando had reached for his hand, he hadn’t let go again. Only when they had got out of their clothes. The young Brit had let go for a few moments then, just to reach out for his hand in the very next possible second again.

Carlos was already half asleep, it probably would have needed just a few more seconds for him to enter the land of dreams, when the younger one whispered into the darkness “Carlos? Are you still awake?” The older one shifted a little, trying hard to focus to not fall asleep.

“Now I am again.” He whispered back, while he squeezed his friend’s tiny hand. “Oh. I’m sorry. Didn’t want to wake you up. Go back to sleep.” Lando whispered ashamed, it really wasn’t his intention to bother his friend, because of the hilarious fact that he was still all scared about that stupid horror movie he had just seen. He didn’t even need to feel this way any more. He was here, laying in the safety of Carlos’ arms now, he didn’t have to fear any harm any more. He was safe.

“It’s okay. Are you really that scared, little one? I mean, it was just a movie. Nothing of this ever happened.” The Spaniard tried to calm him down, while he pulled him closer against his side. Lando sighted, before he said with a small voice “I know, but I can’t stop myself from thinking about it.”

Both got silent then. Seconds turned into minutes, while Carlos stroked his friend’s arms up and down and he had actually thought that maybe he had already fallen asleep, when his voice was audible in the dark room again “I’m a joke. I’m just a stupid, damn scared, little kid for you, or? Aren’t you already annoyed about me? About always taking care of me, watching out for me almost the whole day long?”

Carlos then thought about his rookie year and how it was for him, the Red Bull time in general. He also thought about Max, who had his rookie year at the same time as him. The Dutch hadn’t needed any help or support, didn’t want any hugs or touches at all. Max was okay with being on his own, while in contrast the young Brit needed so much attention. But he was exactly what the Spaniard had needed. Someone to look out for.

Carlos smiled to himself, before he said all truthful “No. I won’t ever get enough of you. It’s okay, it’s perfect the way you are. And I like to play the big brother to you. Don’t worry about it. I know how you feel and I won’t ever let you fall. You can trust me, little one.”

“I do.” Lando answered maybe a little too quickly. He did trust him completely from the very first second on. And the fact that Carlos accepted him the way he was, even when Lando himself knew about how annoying he could sometimes be, was everything the young Brit could have ever wished for.

Carlos was the missing person in his life he had never known he needed so bad. Soothing the older one did slide his fingers through his wild locks and when he touched the spot on his head, where the little bump already began to build, he had to smile to himself. “But trust me, I won’t ever let you watch a horror movie again, little one.”

The next day’s race was the best so far for the Spaniard. After the whole trouble was over and they did share a quiet moment alone in their motor home, Lando did congratulate his team-mate with a big smile on his lips. He was really very happy for him and his great result, he was just a little annoyed about himself not making any points today.

Instantly Carlos got the mood of his younger friend, even when he had tried it so good to hide it from him. “What can I do to make you feel better again?” The older one asked, while he watched his little friend shrugging his shoulders. “Do you maybe want a hug?” The Spaniard finally whispered and could watch Lando nodding his head maybe a little too quickly and when he got into his arms he could spot a small smile on his lips.

“Don’t worry. Next time will be better again, you will see. And now get that cheeky smile back on your face, we have to celebrate something.” Carlos tried to cheer him up, while he held him close to his body and breathed in his scent. He could feel Lando smile against his chest by his words.

“I hope so. But I think I have to change my poster in my room. Maybe I better change it with a life-sized one of you.” Lando murmured against his race suit, which caused Carlos to giggle. “But you are right, we have to celebrate something and I still want revenge. You will see, tonight I will beat you.”

Of course, Lando didn’t beat Carlos in bowling, like so many times before. He was even light-headed enough to commit to it, when Sacha came up with that stupid bet. But betting debts were honorary debts and so the young Brit ended up with pulling down his sweatpants in front of his friends.

They took him up into their arms for the photo, all posing with the L on their foreheads. And even when there were so many hands on his body, even on his bare skin, he could still tell without even looking at it, where Carlos had his hands. His palm on his lower leg did almost burn into his skin.

Lando tried to pretend like his friend didn’t set him on fire with his touch, while they were posing for the photo. After they had made it and most of them had managed to calm down again from laughing so much, they let the young Brit on his feet again.

He really wasn’t ashamed to stand with his boxers on in front of his friends, but just when he had wanted to bend down to reach his sweat pants and pull them on its place again, Carlos was suddenly kneeing in front of him, gripped his pants and pulled them gently up on his hips.

Lando really hoped that his team-mate hadn’t seen his dick twist inside his pants, like it just had to by that sight, or god forbid he had maybe even smelled his dick with his face being so close to his middle. The older one just gave him a warm smile, before he pulled away from him again and ruffled his locks to let him stand back with an opened mouth.

Later that evening, when the two of them were already lying in bed, Carlos told him “It was really brave from you to commit that bet, even when it wasn’t your day at all. You didn’t need to do that, especially not the part with posting it on Instagram.” Lando smiled to himself, when he thought about the fun they had tonight and he got also a little embarrassed, when he thought about the way Carlos was kneeing in front of him, with his face so close to his middle.

“It was for the fun and I have agreed to it, I just had to do it.” The young Brit answered, while he laid onto his back and stretched himself long. “You know, you have got some pretty soft legs right there.” The Spaniard suddenly said to his friend’s surprise. Carlos still asked himself since hours, since he had touched his friend’s legs for the first time, how they had to feel wrapped around his waist.

“You mean these?” He asked like he had much more legs in offer, while he laid them over Carlos’ belly. The older one giggled, before he started to stroke with his fingertips over his skin there. “Yeah, they are so smooth.” He told him once more all fascinated, while he kept on with his pleasure.

They did somehow end up to fall asleep with Carlos laying on his back, while Lando was laying on his belly half-way on top of his team-mate, his right leg angled on his friend’s belly and the Spaniard’s palms still on top of his skin.


	6. Chapter 6

Lando had never thought, that one simple photo and two words, one not even correctly written, could cause so much trouble. The photo he had made and later also posted on his Instagram about his left leg and the words ‘it’s bwoken’ was actually only for fun. He didn’t mean to cause so much trouble with it, but he only got it what he had done, when his phone did wake him up the next morning.

Lando was still jet-lagged like hell, but when he saw it was Carlos, who he knew was on his way to Mexico at the moment, his mouth angles began to twitch, even when he was still all tired. “Hey, Chilli.” The young Brit finally answered the phone, while his voice did sound all rough and still very sleepy.

“Hey, little one. How do you feel?” Carlos asked carefully into his phone, he did sound worried, Lando had to admit. He asked himself why the hell his team-mate had to wake him up to just ask him how he was, even when he always adored it to hear his voice, even so early in the morning. But the Spaniard will be here as well in probably less than two hours. So what was going on, the smaller one asked his still half asleep brain.

“If I’m serious, damn tired. You have just woke me up.” Lando told his friend, while he stretched himself and yawed long. “I’m sorry, but I just wanted to check on you, you know.” Carlos was always very caring and protective, especially when it came to Lando, but he had never done something like that before, to call him so early to just ask him how he was feeling. And why did he sound so concerned and also almost gingerly?

When Lando kept quiet, the older one went on with asking carefully “How bad is it? Are you able to drive this weekend?” The young Brit really asked himself, if maybe he was still dreaming, because he didn’t know what his friend did mean or what was going on. Yeah, he was tired, but he was never so tired in his life before to not being able to race. What was that kind of question anyway?

Still tired and confused he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, while he asked the older one “Carlos, about what the hell are you talking about?” Then there was silence on the other end, not even his breathing was audible and Lando had almost thought that maybe the Spaniard had hung up, when he finally said all unsure “About your leg, of course. I have seen your story on Instagram. How did this happen anyway?”

And then it suddenly clicked inside Lando’s head and he didn’t know if he should feel sorry for his friend about worrying so much about him, even when he was all well and healthy, or if he should start to laugh out loud.

He did decide for second, which did confuse Carlos completely latest then. Still laughing, Lando tried to explain it to him and after the third time the Spaniard finally believed him and threatened him playfully to watch out, when he will finally be at the hotel too.

Still giggling Lando hung up and finally saw the many comments on his Instagram and also some messages from friends, which had all believed that he had really broken his leg. He did quickly clear the situation to all, so he could take a shower to wake up completely.

Twenty minutes after he was finished, it did knock against his door and even without seeing through the wood, he did exactly knew who was standing outside. The second he opened the door a split, Carlos quickly threw it open the whole way.

The expression he had on his face, Lando already knew way too well. He was in play-mood and so the younger one kept along and ran away from him into the very last corner of his hotel room. After the Spaniard had closed the door behind himself, he tried to catch his younger team-mate through the whole room.

Because Lando was finally already laughing so much, it was pretty easy for him to finally catch him and drag him over to his bed, where he did tickly him from head to toe. For Carlos, the smaller one had the cutest giggle on the whole world. It was so catching, one of the happiest sounds he had ever heard.

Lando already begged him to stop, because he was shortly before peeing his pants. He couldn’t even talk any more, so bad he was laughing under Carlos’ touches he did used to punish him for scaring him so much. When the older one saw how red his friend’s head had become, the happy tears running down his cheeks and the way he did arch under him, he finally let go of him.

“I was really worried about you. Don’t ever do this again.” Carlos told him once more, while he watched him calming down again. “I’m sorry. I have never thought someone would believe me.” The Spaniard shook his head still unbelieving, while he helped his younger team-mate sitting up.

He wasn’t mad at him or something like that, he had already got his punishment anyway. Carlos patted him on the head, ruffed with his fingers through the locks to make an even more mess. Lando’s lips still formed a wide smile and his cheeks just looked so welcoming, that he just had to pinch his reddened cheek and say while doing so “You can be really lucky to be so cute.”

But all the cuteness Lando had didn’t help him in any way on Sunday. The race was also shitty for Carlos and the second he had seen his friend, after he had left his car when the race was finally over, he knew his wasn’t any better. Lando came into his direction with his usual team clothes on and not his race suit any more. He must have been here already for a longer time.

But the small smile on his lips also told Carlos, that his DNF wasn’t about him, about a mistake he had made. It was the same as with his race. Lando wouldn’t look like that, if this wouldn’t be the case. It wasn’t his fault, so it wasn’t that bad for him. But still Lando wrapped his arms around the Spaniard when they were close enough and whispered “This race was bullshit.” Carlos could only agree to it.

Hours later, in the evening Carlos and his cousin did do the thing they always called babysitting. Spending time with Lando together. They didn’t mean it serious, the two of them really liked to spend time with him together. They had ordered pizza and did play FIFA, like already so many evenings before.

It was nice like always. The pizza was good, they had lost their sense of time since how long they were already playing, when Carlos let himself sink down into the couch and rubbed his face after he had won a match again, but still frustrated about what had happened in the race today.

He could spot Lando sitting on the couch next to him through his fingers. The young Brit himself was also disappointed and annoyed, but who take offence on him? It was really a shitty day.

“God. I wish to have a drink.” Carlos then murmured with his palms still rubbing over his face, before he let his arms fall to his sides. “You know, the night is still young. We could still go into a bar, club or something like that.” His cousin suggested and Carlos did start to like that thought instantly.

“Sounds pretty good, if you ask me. I’m into it. Our flight will be tomorrow afternoon any way and I could really need a drink.” Only after Carlos had ended his sentence and his cousin had already nodded agreeing his head, he looked over to Lando, who had become all silent.

The Spaniard could read it in his face, that he didn’t like that idea pretty much. He would rather like to stay here and play some more and fool around like always. Clubs just weren’t his world, Carlos knew that. He should have thought about it before.

He just wanted to suggest, that they could order some drinks here into his hotel room and that he was already way too tired to change into some decent clothes anyway, when Lando’s eyes met his and made him somehow stop saying so.

The young Brit really didn’t want to go to any bars or clubs. He had actually wanted to tell them, that he will stay here and he knew Carlos would stay with him, if he would ask him, but this really wasn’t what he wanted. Lando wanted his friend to have fun and forget this day with it, he wanted him to be happy.

He had really planned to refuse their suggestion, but when his eyes caught his friend’s, he suddenly knew what to do. “Okay.” He simply said, while nodding agreeing his head. Surprise was written in the middle of Carlos’ face and it was exactly the reaction Lando had wanted to see.

His friend had already done so much for him, he didn’t want to be the spoilsport. If the younger one could make Carlos happy with just going out with him and his cousin, then he will do it.

After they had changed clothes and had spent some time inside the bathroom, they were already on their way to one famous club Carlos’ cousin had found on the internet. Still, Lando was pretty tensed, while they were sitting in the Taxi. His team-mate and he were sitting on the back seat, while Carlos talked with the Taxi driver about where they wanted to go.

Nervously the young Brit played with his fingers, while he watched the night-life of the city through his window, till the Spaniard poked his upper leg. Carlos had his phone in his hand, when Lando looked over to him, seeing him leaning closer. “Don’t be tensed, little one. Look, here you are already allowed to do anything.”

First the young Brit didn’t understand, but when his friend showed him his bright phone screen and he read about the age you were allowed to drink alcohol in Mexico and go out as long as you want, Lando began to smile too.

“Looks like the two of us can have a drink tonight.” Carlos grinned over his whole face and even when Lando already hated the taste of the alcohol inside his future drink right now, he still smiled back at the older one. As long as the Spaniard was happy, he was also happy.

The club actually wasn’t that bad. There were many people, loud, good music and a great atmosphere, but Lando decided once more, that he would have preferred it to lay in his sweat pants in front of the TV and play some FIFA instead of being here. But Carlos finally got his drink and he seemed to forget about the day more and more with every drink.

The grin on the Spaniard’s face, when he shared the first alcoholic drink with his team-mate, Lando had never seen before on his face before. Of course, the drink did taste awful and he also couldn’t keep up with Carlos and his cousin, but to do his friend a favour he drank some alcohol.

Lando had to admit that he also wasn’t feeling so bad any more. He felt lighter, carefree and he also didn’t think about the happenings of today so often any more. It was pretty nice here, they had their fun, but when some blond woman began to flirt unrestrained with his team-mate, the young Brit began to feel bad from one second to the other again.

The two of them were already talking since a half eternity, while the younger one was watching them doing so from the corner of his eyes. It was more than just obvious what the pretty woman wanted from his friend and Lando didn’t know why, but he felt even worse, when he got it that Carlos seemed to be ready to give that to her. He wanted her too.

“What about you?” His team-mate’s cousin had caught him staring at the two of them and even when Lando would have been able to act like he hadn’t, it would still be too obvious. He still tried, when he asked like he didn’t know about what he was talking about “What do you mean?”

The older one rammed his shoulder lightly against his, before he answered “You know. Don’t you want to find you a girl for the night too?” Lando’s eyes widened uncontrolled, his cheeks blushed badly just by that thought, while he tried to district himself with taking a sip from the drink in his hand.

“No, better not.” The young Brit shook embarrassed his head, trying to avoid the man’s eyes, which did look already a little drunk. “Why not? Hell Lando, you are a freaking Formula one driver. You can have every girl you want, you just have to tell her so. Look at Chilli. He exactly knows how it works.”

They both looked over to the two of them then, when the blond woman just whispered something into Carlos’ ear, before she began to giggle. Suddenly Lando’s heart felt like it was falling inside his chest and something deep inside his belly started to knot. What if he was right and his team-mate will take the woman to his hotel room? That meant Lando wasn’t able to sleep next to Carlos tonight since months.

And the thought about what the two of them would do in the same bed they had slept last night made him feel completely sick. Lando forced himself to look away from the two of them. What was wrong with him suddenly? Was it the alcohol that made him feel so sick from one second to the other? Why did he have the need to run out of here and hide himself under his bedsheets?

Like the man had already said, Carlos was already practised with flirting, he obviously wasn’t making it the very first time and he also wouldn’t be successful for the first time. He had done it before and it would probably be the distraction he had searched for so urgently after today.

Lando just wanted to excuse himself, feeling so damn stupid when he felt some tears burning in his eyes even when he didn’t know why. But before he could do so, the man tried it again, didn’t let go with saying “So, which girl would you like to talk to? Maybe the one with the long, brown hair over there or maybe to her friend with the shorts on?”

“I.. I’m not interested in any of them.” Lando said with a small voice, not knowing how to be able to change the topic to end his embarrassment. The man in front of him suddenly began to laugh out loud, before he said still all amused “Oh, come on Lando. And what about all the girls you follow on Instagram?”

The young Brit was suddenly frozen, even when he could feel how his whole body began to blush at the same time. He had got caught. Yes, he did follow many profiles from young woman, who thought they could become models someday, but he did follow them because of a very different reason than Carlo’s cousin was thinking.

After Lando had already read on many social media sides, on fan accounts or even in comments under his own posts about people discussion about him being gay, he had started to follow these wannabe models to stop them talking about it.

He hadn’t know how to react to it. He was just shocked that day. Never in his whole life the young Brit had thought someone would even waste one second thinking about his sexuality, but obviously more than just a few did.

So Lando had started to follow these girls, liked their pictures and even wrote comments under their posts from time to time, where they did pose way too exaggerated and sometimes also even half naked. He had thought to quieten the voices with that, so everyone won’t question his sexuality any more. But maybe even when most of the people bought him it and that he was normal, it still caused another problem.

Lando still didn’t know what to answer, how to get out of this situation, when the man in front of him teased him more and more with it. He told him to go over to one of them, tell her to be the Formula one driver, kiss her and take her to his hotel room to finally have some fun.

The man also wanted to know about when his last relationship was and when Lando shrugged his shoulders and answered, that it was already a longer time ago, the Spaniard felt approved and teased the younger one only even more. He even started to shove him into the direction of the next girl, when Lando had finally enough.

“Stop it! I’m not needy or horny! Just let me be!” He shouted and only after the words had left his lips, he saw his team-mate standing next to them. Lando didn’t know since when he was already watching and listening to them, but he knew his own cheeks had the colour of a tomato, so damn blushed they were right now. Confused but also shocked Carlos looked from his cousin to his younger friend, trying to find out what was going on.

The Spaniard had noticed the two of them talking and he had just wanted to go over to them and ask about what they did talk about so intense, when he found it out his own. He hadn’t heard much, but it was enough anyway.

Yeah, Carlos had also already noticed about Lando following these accounts, even pretty many, but he had also noticed the way he looked at the posts of these girls on his Instagram feed, or better how he didn’t look at them at all.

Whenever a new photo of a half-naked woman popped up on his feed he did like it instantly, but he never really looked at it. Not even for one second, he just didn’t seem to be interested in any of them. He just tapped the screen twice, before he kept on scrolling.

Lando obviously was the whole situation damn uncomfortable, especially right now after he had noticed his friend had listened to them. The young Brit tried to avoid his eyes, while he looked ashamed at the ground. Carlos had seen and heard enough, when he stepped between the two of them, took Lando by his hand and leaded him away.

“Carlos? Where are we going?” Lando asked all confused behind his back, while he watched his friend’s cousin, but also Carlos’ flirt keep standing still where they were. “To the bar, of course. It’s time to get ourselves a Tequila.” The Spaniard answered simple, while he smiled back over his shoulder to his team-mate.

“But what about Carlos and the blond woman?” Lando asked still confused, but also relieved for escaping this embarrassing situation. “They can talk to each other, if they want. I don’t care.” Lando had to smile to himself by his friend’s answer, while he kept following the older one.

They just tried to make their way to the bar, when Lando asked with a small voice and very unsure “So, the woman and you, you don’t.. I mean.. to your hotel room.. you know..” Carlos could watch how Lando’s cheeks did blush once more that evening and he tried to avoid his gaze, but when the Spaniard answered him all truthfully his head suddenly snapped up again and he looked so relieved.

“Hell no, of course not. She is way too pushy and dumb. Has Carlos said so?” The older one asked, even when he already knew the answer to it. Lando just nodded his head, before he went on still all insecure “Yeah. He said you do that pretty often.”

The young Brit began to bite down on his lower lip, while he waited nervously for his answer. First Carlos could only stare down to him, before he finally said to his relieve “Yeah, before. But really not tonight. We wanted to have fun, right?” The Spaniard then winked at his friend and finally then Lando had his usual cheeky smile on his lips again.

After they had ordered themselves Tequilas, emptied their glasses, Lando with a very disgusted expression while doing so and Carlos already ordered them two more, he told him “Don’t listen to him when he is drunk. He always talks bullshit then. Don’t worry, little one.” And like always the older one had managed it make him feel better again.

After that, the night became freaking awesome, like Lando called it. If the young Brit was serious, he was finally also a little drunk himself and he also had to admit it, that it felt pretty good. He actually hadn’t felt that great since a long time. Now he finally knew why they were all doing it.

Lando was finally also drunken enough for to go dancing with Carlos. He didn’t care about who was watching him or where he was, in the middle of the dance floor. He just had fun, pretty much even.

They finally also found his friend’s cousin again, but he seemed to have totally forgotten about their conversation from before, so everything was good. Also the blond woman was nowhere near, which made Lando even happier.

When they finally made a little break from dancing, Lando rested his chin still all breathless on top of Carlos’ shoulder from behind. He was finally tall enough to do so. The young Brit had grown since the start of the season. Sometimes he didn’t even know where to take his long legs any more.

Lando watched his friend close then. Carlos’ mouth angles began to twitch, when he caught the younger one watching his profile and he patted his head lovingly, but let him keep on doing so. The young Brit followed the way Carlos’ long eyelids did move, while he looked around the club.

Because it was pretty hot inside here and they did all sweat pretty much after dancing for so long, Carlos had opened the first few bottoms of his shirt so Lando had a pretty view. He could see his friend’s chest rise and fall with his breathing, the way his skin did shine because of the layer of sweat covering it. He could also see his curly chest hair, as dark as the perfect main on his head.

From being so close to him, Lando could smell the already so familiar scent of his friend. He closed his eyes while he inhaled long and enjoying. Carlos’ so delicious smell did the younger one seduce, so long till his nose tip was brushing lightly over the soft skin of his friend’s neck.

Lando didn’t know where it came from, but he suddenly became the need to nuzzle Carlos’ neck, to rub his nose into his skin and get his scent all over his own body, when his team-mate’s cousin rammed his shoulder to give him another drink.

When they did feel ready enough again, they did storm the dance floor once more. Because there were so many people there, they didn’t have much space, but Lando didn’t complain about it. He had to dance pretty close to his friend, their bodies touched more than just once, getting closer and closer to each other with every moment.

They were almost already pressed against each, while Lando checked out his team-mate for the thousand time tonight. How his body did move to the beat, the way his sweated skin under his opened shirt did shine in the light, how hot he was looking in general.

And then Lando felt also hot, too hot. He stopped his whole movements from one second to the other. Even when his cheeks had been all blushed from the alcohol he had consumed over the night just seconds before, he was completely pale now.

“Lando? Are you good?” Carlos asked a little worried about his behaviour, while he also stopped to dance. Lando just stared back at him then with a half opened mouth, like he wanted to say something but somehow wasn’t able to do so.

“Do you want to go outside to get some fresh air?” The Spaniard suggested well-meant and even when it was only a small nod, he still took his friend’s hand and leaded him as fast as possible outside the club.

The fresh air did feel pretty good, in contrast to the hot, sticky air inside the building. Carlos only let go of his team-mate, when they were away from the crowd and he had helped him lean against the cold wall. Lando still stared the same way at him. His eyes were half closed, too heavy for him open them fully any more. The alcohol was written in his face, had the upper hand over his body now.

“What’s wrong, little one?” Carlos asked softly, standing between his feet, so close to his body, while he stroked that one sweated, sweet curl out of his face. They looked deep into each other’s eyes, their lips opened a split, feeling so lonely.

The Spaniard began to lean forward carefully, his right palm on his friend’s hot cheek, when Lando’s eyes widened almost painfully suddenly and he wrapped his arms around his belly. Quickly, so quickly that Carlos couldn’t even keep up to it with his drunken brain, the young Brit turned away from him, freed himself from his grip and swiftly ran away from him. He stopped, when he leaned against the wall and did vomit around the corner.

The Spaniard was at his friend’s side instantly, helping him to get through it, even when he couldn’t do anything for him anyway now. Carlos just stood next to him, waited for Lando till he would be finish, while he held him carefully, so he won’t fell over.

The older one blamed himself for his team-mate’s state. He shouldn’t have let him drink so much, even encourage him doing so. He wasn’t used to it and Carlos felt so bad for it right now. It was his fault.

When Lando was finished after one whole minute pocking everything out of his shaking body, he would have fallen to the ground, if the Spaniard wouldn’t have still held him. He helped him to get a little away from the mess and to sit down and lean against the wall.

Lando looked awful and Carlos had so much pity with him. “Hey, little one. It will be alright.” He did soothe him, while the young man tried to calm down his still trembling body. The Spaniard then pulled out his phone from his pocket to call his cousin to come outside too and get them a taxi.

While Carlos was talking to him, Lando did vomit once more. Somehow the older one made it to get some space between his friend and his mess again. He was sitting next to him, having his arms around his shoulders, while Lando focused to not vomit again.

Carlos’ got it what was going on the second he saw the two of them sitting like that, so he managed to get them a taxi. “Do you think you can make it to the hotel?” The Spaniard asked his friend softly but also a little worried, while the young Brit had his eyes closed and breathed slowly through his mouth.

After Lando had nodded, the two of them help him to get up and also into the taxi. Carlos was sitting with his team-mate on the back seat again. The window was opened, while Lando leaned against his shoulder and tried to keep it together.

“Everything does spin around. I feel so sick.” The younger one whined, while Carlos rubbed his arm up and down. “I know, little one. But you have almost made it. Just a few more minutes.” He whispered into his locks, hoping that his friend could take the whole ride.

Somehow Lando managed to keep his stomach contents to himself during the drive and also when the two of them helped him to get him to his room. When they were finally inside, they let Lando sink down on the couch. He did hide his face behind his palms, while he did support his elbows on his knees.

Carlos told his cousin, when he saw how drunk and exhausted he also looked “Don’t worry, I will stay by his side tonight and watch out for him. You can go to bed.” The man nodded his head, before he wished them good night, looked at the young man for one more moment, before he finally left them alone.

The Spaniard got on his knees in front of Lando then, stroked over his upper arms and whispered “Hey, little one. Do you already feel a little better?” Lando then shook carefully his head, too afraid about any too fast movements to get him all dizzy again.

Compassionate Carlos stroked through his locks, feeling still bad for letting him get so drunk. But first he had to take care about his friend, his excuses wouldn’t make any different anyway right now. “Do you want to keep sitting here? Or do you want to lay down?” The young Brit shook his head again, feeling already very desperately about not having his body under control any more.

Carlos did purse his lips then, because he knew the only thing which will help him to finally feel better again. The alcohol had to leave his body. “Do you need to go to the bathroom?” He asked him, before Lando nodded his head carefully and finally looked at him again. The older one just had even more pity with him then.

“Alright. I will help you. Come here.” Carlos whispered softly, before he slowly helped his friend on his feet and getting into the bathroom, where Lando let himself sink down in front of the toilet. He had just wanted to ask him, if he wanted to be alone or if he should stay, when Lando searched for his hand and held it firmly and didn’t let it go again.

It only needed a few seconds, till Lando did throw up again, till there wasn’t anything left any more. The whole time Carlos gently stroked over his friend’s trembling back, till he leaned himself all exhausted against his side. “I can’t any more. But I’m still feeling so sick and everything doesn’t stop to spin around.” Lando whined, tears were falling over the edge of his eyes, after they had got pressed out during throwing up.

“I know, little one. But it will become better, you will see. You just have to sleep. Come here, let me get you into bed.” But this time Carlos simply took his team-mate up into his arms, his body was way too much shaking and weak to go on his own any more.

He carefully laid him on top of the soft mattress, holding his head protective while doing so. Carlos waited for his reaction to it, but Lando seemed to be okay with laying, so the older one helped him out of his clothes and wrapped the fluffy blanket around his still trembling body.

He then got over to open the window to let some fresh air inside the room and picked up a glass of water from the bathroom. “Do you want to take a sip?” The Spaniard asked his friend carefully, while he tried to get his body control back. After the young Brit had nodded his head agreeing, he tried to sit up carefully, Carlos helping him to do so.

After a few sips, Lando fell back into the pillows again, his palms on top of his face, when he whined “I think I have to die.” His older team-mate smiled to himself, even when he had so much pity for him. “No, you won’t, little one. Tomorrow you will feel better again, you will see.” Carlos kind of lied, while he stroked with his fingers through his locks, because tomorrow morning the young man will probably feel bad too.

“Can you lay next to me? Please.” Lando whimpered with a shaking voice, afraid about what was happening to him at the moment. Quickly Carlos got also out of his clothes and laid himself carefully next to his younger team-mate.

He let Lando lay closer to him the way which did feel the most bearable for him. The Spaniard was laying on his side, watching his friend close, while he moved his fingertips gently through his curls and over his skin to stop his body from shaking so much. He did so, till the younger one fell asleep. Carlos then knew, that he was alright and he could fall asleep himself too.

The older one couldn’t fall asleep again, after he had woken up just hours later. It was already light outside, but even when he still felt tired and exhausted after the happenings last night, he still didn’t find his peace again. In contrast to his friend, next to him.

Lando was still sleeping deep, when Carlos crawled out of bed. After he had stretched himself long and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he leaned down to the younger one, stroked his still reddened cheek with the back of his index finger and whispered “I will go for a run, little one. You can still go on sleeping. Our flight is in the late afternoon. If anything should be, you can call me.”

Carlos hadn’t expected Lando to hear him, but still he wanted him to know and to his surprise the smaller one had nodded understanding his head. After the older one had laid his friend’s phone on the small table next to the bed, in case he really needed to call him, he left to his own hotel room. This time he didn’t need to sneak out of it and make sure no one was watching him. He didn’t need to worry about that today.

About one hour later, the Spaniard was back fresh showered, with a bottle of water, some painkillers and an apple in his hands. He had eaten something for breakfast, but he did decide against it to take something along for his friend too, not knowing if Lando could just stand the smell about it right now. So he only took the apple with him, they could still order some breakfast to his room, if he should really be hungry.

Like Carlos had expected him to do, the smaller one was still lying in bed, sleeping peacefully. So the Spaniard placed the items on the night stand, before he carefully set himself next to his friend on the mattress and checked his phone.

About one hour later, Lando began to move and whine next to him. “Hey, little one.” The older one greeted him with a smile on his lips, while he took his phone away. All pained Lando rolled on his back and rubbed his palms over his face. “God. You said I would feel better next morning. I feel like shit.”

“I know, it was a lie. You have to get through this now. But don’t worry, they will help.” Carlos told him truthful, while he handled him the glass of water and some painkillers. “Damn, I hope so.” Lando whined once more, when he sat up and took the pills.

Till they began to help, the two of them kept lying silently next to each other. Carlos finally told his friend about how sorry he was for letting him get drunk so much, but even when he still felt very bad, Lando told him to not worry about it. It wasn’t his fault. At least they had some decent fun last night.

The young Brit finally made it somehow to take a shower, did refuse it when Carlos offered him the apple or to order anything else he wanted. They spend the whole day long in bed. Falling asleep, before waking up again to cuddle some more. They did continue like that, till the very last second when they had to stand up to get their flight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, this one is pretty long today, but I hope you will like it as much as my last chapters..
> 
> I also just want to thank you all so much for your kudos and your many comments - it's incredible and I enjoy to read every of your feedbacks.
> 
> I'm having so much fun with writing this fanfiction and I love it to make you happy with it :)


	7. Chapter 7

Till they entered the airplane in the evening, Carlos had apologized by Lando at least twenty times. He still felt very bad for letting him get so drunk. He had totally forgotten about the young Brit not being used to any alcohol at all. That was why the Spaniard himself was feeling actually pretty good today, while Lando still had a bad hangover.

It wasn’t his intention and he should have better watched out for him, but the younger one told him every time about it not being his fault. They had their fun, pretty much even. Just the ending wasn’t that great, but it was actually already time for him to have his first drunkenness anyway. Even when from now on Lando will think twice about drinking so much again.

They both decided about milk being still the best drink to not have a hangover the next day and Lando sure as hell will stay by his beloved milk the next time again. Even when they did fool around a little again, the young racer still wasn’t his old self. He was still feeling sick a little and had a bad headache.

So Carlos said to him softly, after they had taken place in their seats next to each other in the airplane “Try to get some more rest, little one.” It didn’t last ten minutes, till Lando already dozed off next to the Spaniard. Carlos let him lean his head against his shoulder the whole time, so he could listen to his younger team-mate’s deep breaths. They finally arrived at their hotel in the middle of the night and like always they shared a bed together. This time in the Spaniard’s room.

The next morning, Lando woke up because he could feel his team-mate’s eyes on him. He didn’t open his own eyelids, he just pretended to be still asleep, while a warm shiver ran down his back with his friend’s eyes still on him.

Morning cuddles with Carlos were the best, Lando always felt so good, so loved and adored in these moments, but right now he preferred it to just keep laying still. The Spaniard did that a lot, watching him in his sleep. It kind of seemed to soothe him. The young Brit had felt his eyes on him already for a longer time, but he kept pretended like he was still sleeping.

Whenever Lando caught his older friend doing this, it was one of the best parts of his day. But when the taller one seemed to have soaked up his sleeping form enough for this morning, he ruffed his hair softly and kissed his temple, before he finally stood up.

Only then Carlos got the so pretty view from his hotel room. From the sixth floor they had a nice view over the city. Lando was still laying on his belly and pretended to be asleep, but still he opened his eyes a split to watch his older team-mate, but the view he got was a thousand times better than Carlos’.

While the taller one was still looking outside the window, he stretched himself long and extensive and like always the young Brit was speechless about his perfect trained body, standing there right in front of him just with his boxers on, but then his eyes wandered south from the hard muscles of his belly and there it was.

The smaller one had to pretend himself to gasp out loudly and force himself to stop staring with widened eyes at the big bulge in Carlos’ boxers. Instinctively Lando pressed his own still growing morning wood into the mattress underneath him. He watched with a watering mouth the outlines of the bulge, asking himself how long and thick he must be.

But even from where he was lying in bed, the Brit still saw that he must be way longer and thicker than his own and it made him want to see it uncovered even more. When Carlos began to move and get into his bathroom, the smaller one quickly closed his eyes again and tried to suppress the small moan from deep inside his throat with biting into his pillow, because of the friction he got, while he still pressed his erection hard into the mattress.

After the Spaniard had finally disappeared, Lando rolled on his back and did really groan this time after the lost friction. He kept laying there staring at the ceiling with a wild raising heart and a heavy breathing, while his hand wandered down his body on its own. When his palm had finally arrived at its destination, Lando moaned desperately, while biting down on his lower lip.

He squeezed himself lightly through his boxers and when he could feel the wetness against the fabric around his dick’s head, he quickly pulled away again with widened eyes. Lando asked himself what he was actually doing here? Carlos could come back every moment, even when he could still hear the water of the shower.

He should better dress himself and get to his own room as quickly as possible. Lando did so, even when walking wasn’t that easy with the problem between his legs and it felt like his whole blood had rushed to his middle.

Finally dressed, he knocked against the bathroom door and waited for a few seconds to make sure Carlos will listen. “I will go to my room now.” Lando told him through the closed door. “Alright. See you at breakfast.” With that the Brit sneaked out of his friend’s hotel room and followed the number from the key card in his hand to his own room.

Carlos had brought his stuff there, after they had arrived last night, while Lando himself was already asleep in his friend’s bed. It made Lando just feel even worse, because he didn’t know why his body was doing such things, while the older one was so kind to him.

Finally, he took a cold shower to delete the thoughts and pictures inside his head and getting finally rid of his hard one too. Lando was finally Lando again by breakfast and the following days here in America were probably one of the funniest in Carlos’ whole life.

He really couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so much and often. He had so much fun, had just a good time and the older one exactly knew who he had to owe that. Even when Carlos tried, he just couldn’t remember his life, before the young Brit had entered it any more. He couldn’t imagine a life without him any more.

Lando’s jokes, his cheeky smile, the lovingly way he was, just everything on him made Carlos happy. He was so precious, unique, joyful, sweet, funny and full of energy. Lando was the person in Carlos life he had never known he was missing and he really needed so bad.

Didn’t matter what the two of them were doing, they had always fun and in the end of the day the Spaniard’s mouth angels did already hurt from smiling and laughing so much the whole day long.

It was such a precious time, where they did forget about racing a little and just enjoyed life and each other’s company instead. One time, when Carlos was teasing Lando again and the young Brit pretended like he was mad at him for it and told him about hating him, the Spaniard answered “No, you actually love me.” The younger once cheeks had blushed a little then, but before Carlos could ask himself longer about his reaction, the moment was over and Lando’s cheeks slowly became their normal colour again.

That was shorty before they had that one commercial shooting in which Lando was looking so gorgeous. Till now Carlos daydreamed about that one baby curl always hanging into his face. His hair was so on point that day and that one curl made it even better.

Best he wanted to brush it out of his sweet face, but the curl was way too cute to hide it. But then the Spaniard just wanted to wrap the hair strain around his finger and make it even curlier with that. But in the end he just stared with big eyes at his friend, hoping that his pupils won’t become the form of hearts.

Carlos sometimes had the feeling about Lando himself not knowing how incredible beautiful he was. He wanted to change that and he made himself the promise to tell his younger team-mate as often as possible how good he was looking again today.

But on Friday afternoon, after their free practice was over and they had the rest of the day off, Lando’s mood had somehow changed abruptly into the total opposite than the last days. The young Brit was sitting all alone inside one of the rooms of their hospitality, when Carlos entered it and joined him on the couch.

First everything seemed to be normal, just like always. They were talking about the practice and how their cars had felt, but when the Spaniard made the comment about this race here being his team-mate’s last one as a little boy and also added that in his next race he will be a man, but still only a little man, Lando only nodded absently his head before he suddenly stood up and left the room without saying one word.

Of course, Carlos was first confused about his behaviour, but he also knew about him being still a teenager and that his hormones did still play crazy sometimes. Normally it was only in the mornings and also only until he got his milk, but still the older one questioned himself not too much about it.

But he indeed got worried about his younger friend, when he didn’t see him for the rest of the day any more. Maybe his words had touched him, had made him feel sad more than Carlos was aware of. He hadn’t meant any harm, he just wanted to tease him a little, like always. But maybe it was too much, maybe he had crossed a line with his thoughtless comment.

It was in the late afternoon, when the Spaniard just had to check on his friend. Lando had to be on his hotel room, because he was nowhere else to be found. So Carlos took the key card from his team-mate’s room, but still he knocked against his door first. When there didn’t come an answer or any noises at all, he finally took use of the key card.

He opened the door a split, saying inside while he was still standing on the floor. “It’s me, little one.” Carlos wanted to give Lando the chance to tell him to go away, but when there didn’t come an answer at all again, he finally opened the door completely and stepped inside.

Quickly he found his friend and actually he thought about him being asleep, while he was laying there on top of his bed. Still, completely dressed, his head did rest on his arms, while he was spread out on his belly.

Only after moments he did realize, that Lando was wearing one of his hoddies, but he didn’t ask himself why or where he had found the cloth. When the older one watched his upper body race and fall with his breathing that way, he knew he wasn’t sleeping.

“Lando?” He carefully asked into the silence, but the younger one still kept quiet. “Do you want me to leave again?” Even when after one whole minute no noises nor movements came from his friend, the older one took it as permission for him to stay and even step closer to him.

Carefully he sat himself next to Lando on the mattress. First with a little distance between the two of them, but his small body did look even more fragile than usual, so Carlos gripped the blanket, pulled it over his friend’s body and laid himself close to him.

Lando seemed to be alright with this, still he didn’t move his head to face him. But it was alright. He didn’t have to. Carlos knew he will start to talk about what was bothering him, when he was ready for it. It just needed some time, time the Spaniard was willing to give him.

Carefully the older one wrapped his arm around his friend’s body, laid his palm on top of his chest and gently pressed him closer, so they were both laying on their sides now. Lando did rest his hands by Carlos’ arm, holding himself onto it, while he stroked him with his thumb by his chest through the material of the hoodie.

Together they did watch the dust fly through the air, while the last sunbeams of the day did shine through the split between the curtains. It was so quiet and peacefully, even when Carlos knew about it not being like that inside his younger team-mate’s head.

Gently the Spaniard pulled him softly even closer to his body, to give him some near and warmth. Later Carlos stroked with his fingers lovingly through his soft locks and like always Carlos could feel the little one shiver under his touches. But he still enjoyed the pleasure with closed eyes and goose bumps everywhere on his skin.

The older one had buried his nose deep inside his curls, sniffed in his team-mate’s delicious scent, before he nuzzled his neck. It slowly started to become dark outside, when the Spaniard whispered gently against the sensitive skin behind Lando’s ear “What’s wrong, little one? What does bother you so much?”

To encourage him to finally tell him his problems, Carlos kissed all gently the soft skin behind his ear and that finally broke Lando’s walls. Slowly he rolled over, so the two of them could finally look deep into each other’s eyes and the older one could see that Lando was pretty close to tears, but none seemed to have fallen over the edge until now.

“Hey. What happened? Do you have pain? Has anyone said something nasty to you?” Carlos tried once more and lifted his friend’s chin with his index finger, when he tried to break their eye contact. It still needed minutes, looking that worried and concerned way deep into Lando’s eyes, till he finally gave in and talked to his friend.

“No. I mean yes. Kind of.” The young Brit stammered unsure, not knowing how to form his worry into words. “Tell it to me, little one.” Carlos tried to encourage him once more, but Lando only tried to avoid his eyes and this time he let him do it.

“Is it about what I have said before? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to offend you. I really haven’t meant it like that.” Carlos had actually thought about Lando looking forward to his Birthday, that he couldn’t wait to become finally older like he had already told him so often. But maybe he had teased too much this time.

The young Brit seemed to think about it for a second, but then he quickly lifted his eyes and shook his head. “No. It’s really not about what you have said.” Lando secured him and Carlos felt relieved about it. “So are we good?” He still asked with a smile on his lips. The younger one tried to smile back, before he answered “Yeah, sure.”

The Spaniard then took him into his arms and placed a kiss on top of his head. They were laying in silence and in almost complete darkness now and Carlos was actually already sure about Lando not telling him anything any more tonight, when he suddenly began to speak.

“We will always be friends, right? No matter what will happen, right?” Lando almost whispered all unsure and Carlos was speechless about it. Had he done something and was now worried about having risk their friendship? The older one just looked confused at his friend, before Lando added “Do you think we will still be friends in a few years? Even when we maybe aren’t racing in the same team any more? Because people say so and that you are only nice to me, because we are team-mates. They say we won’t be friends forever.” And then Carlos finally understood. Lando thought about what will happen to their friendship, because something like the two of them had actually wasn’t usual nor actually had place in their job.

“Who the hell says something like that?” Carlos said angrily, but he got it pretty quickly that being like that wasn’t what Lando needed at the moment. He needed comfort, soothing words, a friend right now. The young Brit shrugged his shoulders, before he said with a small voice and lowered eyelids “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t matter, little one. Because they all have no clue about what the two of us have.” The Spaniard whispered gently down to him, so their eyes finally meet again and Lando did look at him that hopeful way, his eyes so big and innocence.

“It wouldn’t change anything. Maybe some things would change, but we would still be friends.” Carlos tried to comfort him, but the smaller one only bit down on his lower lip, before he asked “Why do you think we won’t end up like Lewis and Nico? They were friends since they were kids and still they didn’t make it. We.. we only know each other since a few months and I.. I just can’t imagine to just walk by you somewhere on the paddock without speaking to you. It’s only a matter of time, till this will happen. Till you won’t look at me any more.”

Carlos was shocked then. Who the hell had placed this stupid thought into this younger friend’s head? “Oh, Lando. I don’t know who has told you that, but don’t listen to them. They have really no clue about us. I know you and you know me. That’s all that matters. We aren’t like Lewis and Nico, we are so different than them. Yeah, we don’t know what the future brings, but I sure as hell can’t imagine just walking by you without looking at you. Of course, there won’t always be good times, but you won’t ever lose me. It’s already way too late for that. You won’t get rid of me any more, little one.”

Trying to soothe him, the Spaniard did show him one of his best smiles and even when Lando tried to smile back at him, he still only made it half-way, before he asked with a small voice “You are really sure about that?” Carlos nodded determined his head, telling him while doing so “I’m totally sure about that, little one.”

While biting down on his lower lip, the young Brit still looked thoughtful and unsure. Tears were swimming in his eyes, when he finally lifted his head again and looked deep into the Spaniard’s, in contrary to his own so, dark eyes, when he whispered “You promise?”

Carlos then wrapped his arms around his smaller body and pulled him gently against his chest. “I promise, little man. We will be friends forever. And now stop worrying about it. We will always be friends, no matter what will happen. You aren’t alone. I will always be by your side. Believe me. You and me are the best team here and together we will beat them all, you will see.”

He could feel Lando smile against his chest then and before the older one could react to it, he had already thrown his arms around his neck and buried his face into the crotch of his neck. “Thank you, Carlos. It’s just that I just can’t imagine a life without you any more. I’m afraid about losing you.”

“It’s okay, little one. I’m not going anywhere without you.” Carlos was all surprised, when Lando then pressed a long and soft kiss so close to his ear, so he could hear the sound he made, when his lips pulled away again and left his skin lightly wet. The Brit leaned his forehead against his friend’s then and smiled over both of his ears and looked deep into his already so familiar eyes.

“You know, you can tell me everything, little one.” Carlos whispered, while the tips of their noses were still touching. He felt, no he knew there was something more. Something that did still bother his friend, but he wasn’t willing to tell him now.

Lando then only smiled unsure at his older team-mate when he pulled away and nodded understanding his head, but still he kept quiet. Carlos then got it, that he didn’t want to talk about it, at least not yet. So he changed the subject, when he marked teasing “That’s a nice hoodie you have right there. It really fits you.”

Lando smiled a little embarrassed in response, but the world seemed to be a little more alright again then.

Carlos knew about Lando being almost even more nervous about the qualification than about the actual race. Even when his qualifications were never bad, he made it almost every time into Q3, he was still very critical with himself and was also actually never satisfied with himself. The Spaniard made it to his task to help Lando, to encourage him for having a good qualification.

They listened, danced like idiots and even sang to some songs they had already heard in that red car earlier this week, where they were head banging till they had become all dizzy. The young Brit didn’t seem that tensed any more, when they finally had to leave.

And Carlos couldn’t believe it, when his friend told him, after the qualification was over, about him being the fastest in Q1. Lando himself was more than just happy about that, maybe he was still a little frustrated for finally getting P8, knowing that he could do it better, but he was the first time happy after qualification.

And Sunday became even better for the young Brit. He had driven an amazing race and Carlos couldn’t wait to finally take him into his arms and tell him so. “You drove a great race today, little one. Challenging yourself with the bests and more experienced racers. I’m so damn proud about you.” He whispered into his curls, while Lando clutched himself close against his body, standing there in the middle of his room.

Lando was still in his arms, when he looked with big eyes up at him. Tired but also very satisfied with himself at the same time. Carlos cupped his face between his palms then, when he told him truthful “You have so much talent. Please, never give up, little one.”

Tears began to build up in his eyes and his under lip shook a little, because Lando was never good at taking compliments.


	8. Chapter 8

Lando knew he should feel good, arrived being finally at home by his family after weeks. But he couldn’t help himself, he didn’t feel good at all. Since Carlos and he had landed in London days ago, when their ways had got separated and Lando had got into his father’s car, after getting a long hug from his dad, he felt this strange way. The whole time long, but the nights were even worse.

Till this night he had always managed to fall somehow asleep after hours, but tonight he couldn’t. He just couldn’t fall asleep, even when he was laying in his own bed, his family around him, in the house he had grown up. He couldn’t find his peace in this cold November night.

Lando was already lying awake since hours, staring up at the ceiling, like it could give him the answer he was searching for so badly. It was already way over midnight and even when he felt already damn tired, his thoughts didn’t let him fall asleep. He only thought about one person and this since the second they had said good-bye to each other.

Carlos.

He did miss him, a lot. He wasn’t used to fall asleep on his own any more. Having the Spaniard next to him in bed, cuddling with him, crawling closer during the nights, when the young Brit had woken up and needed some near or just hearing his voice with that damn adorable Spanish accent was the only way Lando could fall asleep any more.

The last weeks, even months Lando had always tried to tell himself, that his team-mate and he were only very good friends. Sometimes they did act like brothers, Carlos being the older, mostly way too protective brother to him and he was the younger, sometimes a little annoying one. On some days their relationship even felt like a father-son’s one, but since Spa something had changed.

Since that one weekend Lando had added another feeling for Carlos. A feeling he couldn’t name, couldn’t describe until this moment, but right now he knew he just couldn’t deny it any more. Now Lando knew what it was.

He had feelings for the Spaniard. Different from all these feelings before, deeper, also stronger.

Lando had fallen for Carlos.

The young Brit had fallen so easily for Carlos and his lovingly way and also for the special way he treated him. He could trust the Spaniard in every way and situation. He was so good to him, also there for him, giving him support, maybe being even one of his biggest fans, but never more. But even when Lando had always told himself, that there wasn’t more between the two of them, he still had formed a very big crush on the so good-looking Spaniard.

Maybe it had already started before Spa, maybe it had happened the day they had met personally or maybe already when he was still a kid and had looked up at the racer, stalking him through the internet, hoping that he had read maybe just one message he had written him on social media.

Latest after he had seen that one drive to survive episode of Carlos, he was fascinated about him, his passion for driving and his big talent. Without the Spaniard’s knowing he became a hero for him and it only made Lando even more excited, but also scared, to drive with this legend together in one team next year.

There was that one interview, where the interviewer had asked them about their favourite Formula one driver. Carlos was the one to answer this question and he had actually meant to make a joke with answering his own name. He then guessed Senna or Schuhmacher, but Lando was never the type of someone, who admired the most popular one like already so many. Someone he had never seen with his own eyes.

When he was younger, he had a poster about his friend Alex Albon on the wall in his room, because his friend was his hero back then. Next to Valentino Rossi, he already liked the man back then and he still did, even when he was very popular, the young Brit still always told everybody who wanted to hear or maybe also not, about that the Italian was his friend.

But since a few months he had a new hero, a new role model. Carlos. And the Spaniard himself was very surprised about that. He had meant his first answer as a joke and so also when the interviewer told him his friend’s real favourite racer, but when he had looked over to Lando he got it that it was the truth.

Carlos was more than surprised about it and was also very touched. After the interview he thanked his younger team-mate about it, even when Lando didn’t know why he had the need to do so. It wasn’t hard to not admire him. The older one was a great driver, very clever, he never did stupid decision, was always calm and professional. Someone Lando could look up to.

He didn’t really know since when he was feeling this way for his friend, since when it had all started. But now these feelings were here and they won’t go anywhere anytime soon that was for sure. Lando didn’t know if he could call it a crush any more. Maybe in the beginning of this year it was only a crush, but his feelings for the older one were way deeper now.

Lando was in love with Carlos.

He loved him more than a friend, an older brother, a father figure. The young Brit was sure about that right now, had admin it to himself, didn’t deny it any more, because he was totally sure about it now. Even when first he hadn’t known what this feeling was about, what it meant or why it was even present. He had never felt so in his life before, so he just couldn’t name it and it had made him kind of scared.

Lando was so stupid for falling for Carlos, to create these feelings for him. He was just a damn teenager, with skin problems and too many hormones in his body to handle. Why should Carlos feel the same way for him than he did for the Spaniard? What should Carlos like or maybe even feel attractive on him anyway? What should make him so hot on him, that he even wanted to touch his body? He was just a boy.

Lando was almost twenty years old. He was still a virgin, hell he hadn’t even kissed yet. Yes, there was that same interview again, but he had lied back then. Of course, he had. Everyone would have laughed at him for still not having his first kiss yet. And it would have also told the other his second big secret, being still a virgin.

So he had lied and did almost swallow, when he heard Carlos had his first kiss with five. Lando himself didn’t have a problem with being still a virgin or about not got touched anywhere yet, but it was way too embarrassing to admit it. He felt very unsure after that interview. Maybe something was wrong with him?

But till now he never had the urge to kiss some girl or even imagine having sex with one. He just couldn’t imagine that with none of the girls he knew. Why should he anyway? Maybe he hadn’t found the right one for that till now, because none seem to have that affect to him.

Before he had started his Formula one carrier he had thought about maybe not ready for that right now, being a late starter. But now the young man finally knew why he had always felt this way. Why he had always watched the men in the pornos instead of the women. Why he had enjoyed it to see a good-looking man. Why he only had eyes for the man, when a couple entered the room. Why he was so attracted to his older team-mate.

Lando exactly knew it right now, even when he had tried to tell himself something different for such a long time. Because Lando didn’t like girls. He was gay. Maybe deep inside himself he had always known it, but was too afraid to even tell himself the truth.

He did like boys so much more and the worst of all, he did like his team-mate the most. Lando did like Carlos since the very beginning, he was always so nice to him, but his stupid heart had taken it the wrong way. It was just the Spaniard’s way to be very kind. The young Brit remembered about the first few weekends they had spent together as team-mates.

Carlos quickly got it, that the younger one was home sick and tried to distract him as good as he could. He gave him the feeling of safety and he also felt very welcomed only because of him. He got warm with the whole team pretty quickly and didn’t feel this way any more only because of him and his care.

Right now he was already addicted to the Spaniard. He was living for his closeness and attention. Lando needed Carlos so bad. He had really found a very good friend in him, a shoulder he could lean or even cry onto. A friend he could laugh together so much, make so many jokes, fools and nonsense. Carlos was Lando’s person, the one he had searched for and had needed so bad his whole life long, even without knowing so.

The Spaniard meant it good to him since the beginning, but the young Brit shouldn’t feel about his friend this way. It was wrong, especially in the job they both had. And he was pretty sure the Spaniard didn’t feel the same for him. Of course, he didn’t. Why should he even? So Lando had to keep this secret to himself, he had decided that already now.

He knew he could talk with Carlos about everything, but not about his feelings for him and also not about his sexuality. Only one time they had talked about this topic or at least kind of. It was in the time this damn stupid rumour was making its way around, that Lando was dating, or at least was interested, in one of the other racer’s ex-girlfriends.

When that rumour came up, the younger one first didn’t even know about what or who they were all talking about. Only afterwards he got to know who this girl actually was, who had started to follow him and only to be nice he had followed her back.

Yes, he knew he had seen this face before somewhere on the grid, but he surely hadn’t known about her being an ex-girlfriend to one of the other racers. And even if he had known before - what was so exciting and scandalous about it?

But many people, especially on the internet, talked about it and first the other drivers had all made fun about it, even Charles himself. Even Carlos had posted that one picture on his Instagram account, he had only edited it a little, and had made fun about it, while Lando still didn’t get it why everyone was making such a big deal of it.

Then the two team-mates had made this head-banging videos and it somehow became a small challenge and this one girl also posted a video about her and a friend of her, while they were sitting in a car and banged their heads to the beat.

Of course, Carlos had also seen that video, being linked into it as well, and later on that evening he talked with Lando about it. It was one of their conversation, where they weren’t teasing each other or made any fun. It was a real serious conversation, in which Carlos had asked him “So.. you and her.. are you.. I mean.. she obviously wants something from you. Do you want the same from her or are you already..”

Lando’s cheeks had begun to burn, but not because he was caught, no. Because he was feeling uncomfortable talking about this topic, even with Carlos. They had never talked about something like this before and he didn’t like it at all.

“No. I don’t know what she wants, but I.. no.” Lando stammered still feeling uncomfortable, while he shook his head and did avoid his friend’s eyes, while doing so. If he had known what one stupid follow could cause, he would have never done it.

“Hey. It’s okay. I have just wanted to know, little one.” Carlos said calmly, while he laid his hand on the young Brit’s shoulders. “Because she kind of seems to me like she wanted to make him jealous with you, to get herself one of the other drivers. I mean, you two are kind of friends, at least you come along with each other, maybe she wants to do the same with him, like he has done to her. And I don’t want you to be that one, to get used. That’s all.”

Lando then looked up at his friend’s so familiar dark eyes, which were looking even softer than usual down at him at the moment. “You are still so young, little one. And yeah, you can try things, you should actually even try things out, but I think it would be better if you wouldn’t try this one. You don’t have to try everything, just enough. It probably wouldn’t be good, would maybe cause even some problems. If it doesn’t necessary have to be her, you should better pick one, who wasn’t already together with one of the actual drivers.”

The young Brit exactly knew Carlos only meant it good and he felt so protected with his worried way, but it was all for nothing, because these things had never even crossed his mind anyway.

“Don’t worry, Chilli. I don’t want anything from her and I also won’t let her play any games with me.” Carlos then smiled at his younger friend’s words, before he pulled him into his side and said “That’s my smart, little one.”

But still Lando knew the Spaniard would be understanding and would accept his younger team-mate’s sexuality, but even when Carlos would say it won’t change anything, it would still change something between the two of them. Lando knew that.

And he just couldn’t risk that, risk their friendship. Lando needed the Spaniard more than he had ever thought and he could destroy everything with just telling him one of his two big secrets, the young Brit had just found out about it this night himself.

Carlos had already noticed, that something was wrong with him. He had tried to get him to tell him his worry already back on Friday and also yesterday evening he had tried once more, when they had smiled at each other just one moment ago and in the next second Lando was looking at the Spaniard like he had already done so often in the last time.

“You know, you can talk with me about everything.” Carlos had said all softly then and even when Lando wished for it being true now, he also knew that he really couldn’t talk with him about that. He just wanted it to stay the way it was between the two of them.

His team-mate had noticed it how stiff his body had become suddenly, feeling the goose bumps rise under his hand. “C’mere, little one. No matter what it is, it will be alright. You will see.” Carlos had tried to comfort him, even when he had no idea at all. But still, the Spaniard’s whispered words caused Lando to close his eyes for a brief moment, ignoring that one special feeling deep inside his belly, which got stronger and stronger with every day.

It was a terrible decision Lando had made this night. He felt sick right after, realizing that he had to live with this all on his own now and even worst, he did miss Carlos so much.

He got really that desperately in the end that he began to cry quietly. It did hurt so much to not have him near that the tears ran over his cheeks even without his will. The younger one just wanted to be by his side, his attention, his touches, just everything.

Maybe his cries weren’t that quiet like he had thought, when it did knock at his door suddenly and seconds later his mother’s head poked through the half opened door. “Lando. Sweetheart, why are you crying?” She said with a worried voice, before she quickly made her way over to her son and set herself on the edge of his bed.

“It’s okay, mom. Don’t worry.” Lando answered with a broken voice, like it was nothing, while he supported himself on his elbow and whipped the tears away with the sleeve of his pyjama. Knowing that it was a big lie, Lando’s mother did place her hands on top of his shoulders, tilted her head, while she searched his expression for answers. “But you really don’t look so.” She said all softly.

Lando formed his lips into a thin line, not knowing what to say to it. “Do you want to talk about it?” His mother asked carefully, while she stroked through his locks. The young Brit kept quiet, when he shook his head, not daring to look into her concerned eyes.

“Alright then. But do you have someone to talk about it at least? What about Carlos?” Lando looked up into his mother’s eyes by his team-mate’s name. Did she already knew about the reason why he was so down and sad?

Lando’s mother cupped his face with her left palm and stroked with her thumb over his still lightly wet cheek. Lando finally nodded his head, even when Carlos was the last person he would talk about this and his feelings. But to soothe his mother, he did nod and even managed a small smile.

She looked a little more relieved, when she took her younger son into a well-meant hug, sliding her fingers through his locks while doing so. Lando did return her hug, it felt good, at least for a moment. He let himself fall, closed his eyes, while he wanted to believe her words.

“Everything will be good, my little boy. The world will look different tomorrow, you will see.” His mother kissed the top of his head softly, like she had already done so often in his life before. Finally, they loosened their embrace, so she could look into her son’s eyes again and give him one of her warm smiles. Lando really wanted to believe her words, but he already knew right now about them not being true. At least not this time. One time in her life his mother won’t be right.

“Do you want me to stay some more or would you rather want to be alone again?” She asked carefully and Lando knew about that she would have stayed the whole night long by his side, he still shook his head and told her “I will gonna be alright, don’t worry about me, mom.”

“Alright, then try to get back to sleep.” She said, like Lando had closed his eyes already for one whole minute that night. “Good night, sweetheart.” His mother whispered, before she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “Good night, mom.” She smiled back at him for one more time, before she finally closed the door and Lando was all on his own again.

He let himself fall back into the pillows then and in the darkness he searched for his phone. Lando’s heart inside his chest did cramp badly, when he saw that Carlos had a new story on Instagram. It was in the middle of the night, also in Spain, so why did he post something at this time?

And before the young Brit even opened the story, he already expected it. Carlos was out with some of his friends. Clubbing, drinking alcohol and having fun. Without him. While he was laying crying like a little baby inside his bed, his friend probably didn’t even think about him, while he was out.

New tears began to build up in his eyes and Lando also started to feel sick, so he quickly laid his phone away and rubbed with his hands over his face. After, he got up and opened the window, so the cool air did hit his face and he hoped for feeling a little better again.

After standing minutes by the opened window and looking out into the night, up at the sky full of stars and the bright moon, he finally dragged himself back into bed to start from new with trying to get some sleep.

Lando really tried to keep focus on keeping his eyes shot and not thinking about anything, when he could suddenly hear the vibration of his phone somewhere on the mattress next to his body.

The young Brit sighed, but still he gripped for it and the light screen did first burn in his eyes, but he was wide awake again and his eyes were fully opened, when he read that he had got a message from the Spaniard.

‘You have seen my story, why are you still up, cabron?’ Carlos wrote and Lando could almost hear his worried voice. ‘I can’t sleep.’ He simply wrote back, because he didn’t want to bother his friend with his problem, while he was out and should actually have fun, but the young Brit didn’t have to wait for the older one’s answer longer than a few seconds ‘I’m at home in twenty minutes. Do you want to phone then?’

Carlos exactly seemed to know what was going on. He knew Lando couldn’t sleep very well without him. Hell he hated to fall asleep alone too, but the younger one seemed to have more problems with it than him. Maybe he had a nightmare and was now too afraid to fall asleep again.

Relieved the young Brit wrote back quickly ‘If it doesn’t bother you.. I would like to. I will wait for your call.’ Lando did finally wait almost thirty minutes, but he would have waited hours for his friend’s call.

Before Carlos called him, he wrote him a short message, if he was still up because he didn’t want to wake him up again with his call, if he should have finally found sleep. Instantly Lando answered him shortly with being still awake and so the older one called him, while he got out of his jacket and shoes.

“Hey, little man. What’s wrong? Why can’t you sleep? Did you have a nightmare?” Carlos asked maybe a little too quickly and all concerned, before the younger one was even able to greet him. He had definitely drunken some alcohol tonight.

“Hey, Chilli.” Lando answered with a smile on his lips, just hearing his voice was already enough for him to forget his worries, at least for one moment. “Nothing. I just can’t sleep, that’s all.”

The younger one knew Carlos got it that he was lying, the Spaniard could tell it because of his voice’s tone, but he didn’t say anything in response for the next seconds, so Lando quickly changed the subject, when he asked “You.. you were out?”

“Yeah, a little. We did celebrate a friend’s birthday.” The young Brit could hear some background sounds, the Spaniard was probably undressing himself at the moment and just imagine it got him all nervous and excited.

“I have seen.” Lando simply answered and he had to say it did come out a little harsh, but either Carlos hadn’t heard it or he was simply ignoring it, when he asked in return “What were you doing today, little one?”

The young Brit quickly told his friend about the less, uninteresting things he had done today, before he got quiet again. He could hear background sounds again, like Carlos did crawl under his bed sheets right now. How bad Lando wished to be able to lay next to him.

Just imagine his near and warmth did cause teardrops building up in his tired eyes. Finally, after the older one had made himself comfortable, his voice was hearable again, when he asked with a still worriedly sounding voice “What do you want me to do, so you can fall asleep, little man? Should I sing you a lullaby?”

“Better not. I know your singing voice. It won’t ever rock me into sleep, the total opposite even.” Lando said quickly, giggling softly while doing so. “Don’t be so nasty, little one. But I’m a way better singer than you.” Carlos said all outraged and shocked.

“If you say so.” The young Brit answered, avoiding his friend’s first question, but still the Spaniard asked once more “So, what do you need, little man?” He bit down on his tongue then, because the only thing he needed was Carlos himself. He needed him so badly, but he was thousand kilometres away from him and that fact made him feel even worse.

“Maybe, you..” Lando stammered unsure, not knowing how to say it without feeling like a complete idiot. Carlos kept quiet, he didn’t pressure him, waited all patient for him to find the right words. “Can you just keep on talking? I mean, your voice it.. I think it could lull me into sleep, you know..”

The young Brit did bite down on his lower lip, feeling so unsure and vulnerable at the moment. But all his worries were for nothing, because like always the Spaniard was all understanding, wanted only the best for his younger team-mate and overall he really wanted to help him.

“Alright, then. About what do you want me to talk about?” Carlos still asked, like Lando could ask his friend about reading out loud his favourite bedtime story for him. “I don’t know. How is the weather in Spain? How is Pinon? What have you done today?”

So Carlos began to speak, he told his younger friend everything that crossed his mind and didn’t stop for the next minutes. Lando just listened to his friend, while he slowly began to calm down. The young Brit made himself comfortable and fell into the mattress more and more with every minute listening to his friend.

Lando even laid one of his pillows between his arms and legs, like Carlos was really lying next to him at the moment and he did clutch and claim him as his big Spanish Teddy bear like always.

Lando even closed his already so heavy eyes, while he just laid there still alone in his bed, but he didn’t feel so alone any more now. Even when he couldn’t touch, see or smell his older team-mate, he could still hear his so familiar voice and it did soothe him so much.

Finally, Carlos told him about tonight, about the birthday party. Maybe he did sound a little drunk, but it didn’t bother Lando, maybe because the Spaniard was even more talkative when he had drank some alcohol, exactly what he needed at the moment.

In the end the Spaniard said “It was a great party. Had met people I haven’t seen in ages and we all had pretty much fun, but..” Then there came a pause, the first since Carlos had started and so Lando opened his eyes, even when his eyelids already felt so heave.

The older one finally went on, when he said in a softer voice than before “I have missed you there, little one. Wished you would have been here too.” Lando smiled to himself, while he felt tears building up in his eyes. He tried to swallow them down, but his voice did still sound weak, when he replied “I miss you too.”

Then there was silence, while Carlos smiled to himself by just thinking about the younger one. How bad he really wished him to be here. To have fun with him together. Hell, Lando would have made him laugh so much more than he already had tonight.

The Spaniard’s thoughts began to drift off, imagine how his day would have been, if the young Brit had been by his side. His day would have been so much better. Carlos also asked himself if they would share the same bed at the moment?

Of course, they would. Why should they sleep separated, while they were doing this already the whole time long when they were on races? Why should Lando sleep in the spare room, when he could sleep in Carlos’ king-sized bed together with him?

They could cuddle so much, wouldn’t need to sneak out of the other once hotel room in the morning, afraid about getting caught. They would be able to spend as much time as they wanted to cuddle under the warm bed sheets in the morning, before a new funny day would start for the two of them.

Yeah, they would definitely do that. And why not even? They both did miss each other, so why shouldn’t Carlos ask him? So the Spaniard said it out loud without even thinking about it too much “Do you want to visit me in Spain?”

When there didn’t come an answer even after moments, the older one got a little nervous. “Little one?” He asked a little unsure. Maybe he had crossed a line with that and Lando will hang up now, but then Carlos did listen more carefully, and he finally noticed the regular, soft sound coming from the other end of the line.

Lando had finally fallen asleep. His team-mate had really made it to make him fall asleep. On the one hand Carlos was glad about that, but on the other hand he hated the timing. He would have really wanted to know Lando’s answer.

Now he could only dream about it having him here, at his home. But maybe it was better so, maybe it had a reason why Lando had fallen asleep, before he had heard Carlos’ question and could answer him.

The young Brit had just got home again after weeks, he was probably glad to finally spend some time with his family and friends again and not with the same face he already saw almost every weekend. It was better so, even when the Spaniard would have really liked it to invite him to his home and spend some time with him together.

Carlos still listened to his friend’s breathing through the phone, while he dreamed about all the funny and lovely things the two of them would have made. He thought about everything he adored so much about his younger friend and it made him smile to himself all wide and proudly.

Finally, the Spaniard hadn’t even noticed his eyes being closed, while he still imagined himself the greatest scenarios. He knew then, that it was also time for him to go to sleep now. So he whispered gently into his phone “Good night, little one. Sleep well and have sweet dreams. Can’t wait to hold you in my arms again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, wow - this chapter ended up way longer than I had actually planed it.. I'm sorry for that ;) (No I'm not!)
> 
> How did you like it? What do you think will Lando do now, after he confessed himself his feelings for Carlos? What will he do with these feelings?
> 
> Also, what do you guys think about last Sunday's race??? Wasn't it probably one of the most exciting, beautiful, hearbreaking and best races ever? With definitely the best podium this season (so far)?  
I was freaking out so much and have cried tears of joy for Carlos. So incredible..
> 
> Can't wait to write about it :)
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading <3


	9. Thank you <3

Hey, you all here!

I know, you were probably expecting a new chapter, but I really have to tell you something..

I’m not going to keep on writing on this fanfiction, I’m stopping right here after the last chapter. I just thought to let you all know about it.

**So, after I have your all’s attention now, I want to tell you something more – I was just kidding :D (sorry for the heart-attack)**

Of course, I’m **NOT** stopping this fanfiction, the actual contrary even ;) But I really just wanted to let you all know one thing.

I’m really, really overwhelmed about all of your kudos and so many comments. Especially about the comments. If you are a writer yourself you know about what I’m talking about, when I say it’s just the best feedback you can become, when someone leaves a comment under your last chapter.

Didn’t matter how long the comment is, if it’s a good feedback or maybe even some suggestions to make things better – feedback is feedback and it’s the source we writers are living from.

I have never thought, that my story will have such an effect on someone. It’s my hobby, my passion, my life to write, but I’m really overwhelmed about your reactions. This is my little word I have created and I can do with it whatever I want and it makes me feel safe. A save place to flee from the real life, even for just a few moments sometimes.

I write stories already since so many years, but I have never got so many comments and kudos before. Like you have maybe already noticed, I really, really love to write slow burns – it’s my favourite thing to write about :)

And the funny thing about this all is, that this fanfiction is the less “difficult” one for me I have ever written. Don’t get me wrong, I still think about what to write next the whole day long, spend hours in front of my computer bringing my thoughts into words, re-reading it so often I can’t count it any more and correcting hopefully most of my mistakes.

But the thing is, this story writes itself so effortlessly and quick. I mean, the two of them, Lando and Carlos, make it very easy for me. They deliver almost daily new stuff for fanfiction material. They make it way too easy for me. I have completely fallen for the two of them. For their pure friendship to each other, but also their lives and the beautiful way they are.

I have so much fun writing these chapters for the two of them, but I have never thought what my words could cause to other people. I wasn’t aware of that. But then I read your comments and I finally realized, that people really seem to like my story, my thoughts and daydreams I write down. They are happy and also excited to follow the story every week.

I make them happy, sometimes even make their days with something so simple like a chapter I have thought about before I fall asleep and had written down at 5 am, because I couldn’t wait till after work to be able to bring my ideas to life.

I’m beyond happy and grateful about that so many people like and really enjoy my story, it means so much to me, I can’t even tell you all how much even. You should see my face after I have read one of your comments.

Sometimes a start to laugh, when some of you write ‘now kiss finally!’ (exactly knowing myself when it will finally happen ;) – and no, I won’t tell you!), I smile to myself over both of my ears, when you say you can’t wait to read what will happen next and sometimes I have tears in my eyes, when I read about you having a bad day and this was the only thing that made you happy.

And it shocks me the most, when you tell me my words had caused to make you cry. I don’t know why, but for me it’s the most beautiful thing – I mean, I have managed to make you cry with my words, I touched you so much that you did so, I have fascinated you with my storyline so much that I have caused even tears in your eyes. I still can’t believe it..

That my fanfiction really made it to make you feel better is unbelieving for me. I really, really can’t tell you how endless thankful I am for you taking the time to read my story and also the effort to leave a comment.

And I also know that some of you are really curious about what will happen next and some are even worried about me stopping to write for this story, leaving you all behind with a big cliff hanger.

But I can calm you down, don’t worry at all. The end I have actually already written, before I have even written the beginning :D

Actually I have wanted to make only about three or four chapters. Only the first chapter with the first race after the summer break was planned and the next few would already be about the last race. But then I thought about it and I came to the result, that I wanted it to be as “realistic” as possible (as realistic a fanfiction can be, you know).

So I decided to wait, till the last race will be finally over and I can write about things in the chapter, which had actually really happened. But I have already uploaded the first chapter, so what should I do now? Should I wait, till the beginning of December? No, I wouldn’t have made that – way too long to go.

Maybe I could write one chapter about every race weekend, but what can I write about to create even one whole chapter every week? About what should I write? But like I have already said, the two of them make it so easy for me. I really don’t have to worry about that any more :D the give me material all the time, so there will be enough things to write about for the next chapters as well.

Finally, I best want to hug you all and thank you so for reading my story, for the support, for the love, feelings, smiles and tears you give me. You are the bests, really! And I really hope to not disappoint you in any way with my future chapters.

Anyway, you really don’t need to be worried about me leaving this story unfinished. It will have an end, just be patient with me ;)

_ **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING!!!!! :**************** _


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is finally the real next chapter ;) 
> 
> Hope you will enjoy it!

The following days, till they were finally able to see each other again, Lando and Carlos did spend much time together, even when they were still far away from each other. They were playing computer games, they wrote each other messages over the whole day long or they spoke on the phone for hours. It all made it more bearable for the young Brit.

The older one didn’t mention his thought about inviting Lando to his place for one more time. Not because he didn’t want him here any more, no because the young racer should really spend some time with his family and friends together, to stay on the ground and reload his batteries for the last two races of the year.

They will see each other soon again anyway, even when Carlos already really missed his team-mate. And even when their thoughts were always by the other one the whole time long, they still couldn’t wait to see each again.

In contrast to Carlos, Lando didn’t take his flight to Brazil already on Tuesday. They gave him one more day off, so he could celebrate his twenty Birthday with his family, relatives and friends together. It was such a great day. So many people had come to his family’s place only to congratulate him, give him presents and to celebrate with him together.

They all had a great time, but in the late afternoon it became time. Lando had to get to the airport now, he had to say goodbye to his family and friends. He got a long hug from his siblings, an even longer from his mother, tears glistening in her eyes like always, when she told him to stay save and watch out for himself.

Maybe the young Brit was only imagine it, but maybe the goodbye was even more difficult for his mother on this day than all the others before. He somehow wasn’t her little boy any more, even when Lando knew he would be it for the rest of his life. But somehow he had become an adult today and right now he didn’t know how to feel about it or if that had already changed anything in his life.

Lando’s father was the one who drove him to the airport. On their way the young racer checked his phone for actually the first time today, after the whole hurly-burly at home. There were so endless many congratulations, posts, pictures and videos, only for him and his big day. Almost the whole drive long he was smiling wide over both of his ears and showed his father every time he had found something new.

It was already in the end, when they had just parked the car by the airport, when Lando found the video where Carlos was singing him happy birthday in Spanish. It was way too adorable and but also very funny, the way he was singing it. Hitting not even one tone right and Carlos’ face while he looked into the camera was priceless too. It was hilarious, but damn cute at the same time.

By the end Lando was laughing from the bottom of his heart and also his father smiled wide, while he also watched the video over his son’s shoulder. Even after Carlos horrible, but at the same time so sweet singing voice wasn’t audible any more, Lando laughed from the bottom of his heart.

But at one point his laughing had somehow turned into crying from one second to the other, when a tear made its way down to his smile. His lips and shoulders began to shake, tears were rolling over his cheeks and he started to sob badly, while he still looked down at his phone, seeing his best friend there on the screen smiling back at him.

Lando was overwhelmed about just everything at the moment and listening to Carlos’ singing, that he made the time and effort to record something so sweet only for him, touched the young Brit deeply. Everything did touch him today.

All the love he got, the fact that so many people thought about him and made the time to congratulate him, made Lando feel so warm and loved. He became goose bumps everywhere on his skin and a warm shiver ran down his back.

Of course, his father noticed his state and pulled him into his side, trying to calm his son down again. “Dad.” Lando whined, because he didn’t even want to cry, because he was actually happy, very happy even. But everything had become too much to handle for him right now.

“You deserve it, sweetheart. You deserve everything and even more. They all love and care about you so much. So do I. You deserve it, my little boy. I’m so proud of you.” His father whispered against his head, while he softly cradled him in his arms, till Lando slowly calmed down again.

The young racer pressed his face one more time into his father’s chest, before he whipped his tears and tear tracks away with the back of his hand. “Thanks, dad.” Lando whispered, already with a smile back in his face.

After his father had given him one more compassionate smile, the two of them entered the airport and when it was time for them to say goodbye to each other and go their separate ways, they hugged long for one more time. His father was holding his head close to his body, when he told his son, like his mother before, to stay save and that he loved him.

With a pretty heavy heart, the heaviest even when Lando thought about all their goodbye before, he made his way to his flight. But the young Brit was also very excited and couldn’t wait any more to see his team-mate again, even when there was still this very long flight between them.

Somewhere over the Atlantic Lando watched Carlos’ video once more and again he had to smile instantly and giggled all happily, while he watched his funny expression and listened to his false but also very sweet singing voice. People were already looking at him for snigger so loud and much, but he didn’t care about that, because he just couldn’t suppress it.

He didn’t know how often he had already watched the video, but at one point Lando got pretty tired and he knew he should rest a little, the flight was still very long. So he tried to make himself as comfortable as possible, but like all the other times before in the last days he couldn’t find his peace.

The young racer changed his position, but it also didn’t help, the seat was way too uncomfortable. He began to listen to some music on his headphones, but the result was the same. But then he suddenly had an idea, even when it was a little strange at the same time.

He opened Carlos’ birthday video for the thousand time today and listened once more to his voice, this time with closed eyes. It did somehow work, because Lando began to relax and calm down after this so exciting day. His friend’s voice did slowly lull him into a peaceful sleep. His birthday serenade running on repeat the whole time long.

Six hours, and a very restful nap, later, Lando had finally arrived at his hotel. Jon had told him to come downstairs in one of the meeting rooms, after he had brought his stuff to his room. Of course, the young Brit knew what was going on. He had already expected something like that. That the team had prepared kind of party for his birthday.

Sure he was tired and exhausted after everything, he was already up more than twenty-four hours, but it was still his birthday here in Brazil. It was kind of crazy, he never had lived such a long birthday before.

After Lando had washed his still tired face with some cold water, had tried to tame his curls and had changed into less comfortable but also more decent looking clothes, he made his way to that one mentioned room.

The lights were out and it was quiet, too quiet. Even when he had expected something like that, he really hadn’t expected that.

He hadn’t even really entered the room, when suddenly Carlos jumped out from a corner and ran into his direction with opened arms. With a big momentum he threw his arms around his small body, and before Lando could even react to it, he already found himself in his friend’s strong arms, holding him very tight against his chest and he even lifted him off his feet and sway him through the air.

“Here he is finally! Our birthday boy!” Carlos screamed all happily and with that the room lightened up and the whole team appeared out of the darkness. They all began to scream too, clapped loudly and laughers were also heard.

When he let Lando on his feet again, he was still a little overwhelmed about his team-mate’s reaction, but somehow he managed one of his best cheekiest smiles. Only after moments he saw the way too hilarious looking party hat on the Spaniard’s head, one you did normally wear only on a child’s birthday. Oh, yeah..

Somewhere Carlos also conjured up one hat for Lando, which he did carefully place on top of his head and fixed it with a rubber band under his chin. Suddenly the older one pulled Lando into a hug again, maybe a little less tight than before, but therefore with more emotions. “Happy Birthday, you little nuisance.” He whispered so close to his ear that it caused the young Brit to shiver, but in a good kind of way.

Lando closed his eyes for a brief moment, just enjoying it to finally have his friend at his side again, just forgetting the big crowd around them for one moment. Carlos finally loosened their embrace, before he leaned down to kiss Lando’s tremble softly.

After the Spaniard let go from him, so everyone else could congratulate and hug him too, even when he didn’t want to give him out of his arms at the first place. He watched the scenes with a smile on his lips, because Lando looked way too cute with that party hat and he could tell he was very happy for everyone being here only for him.

After everyone had calmed down again a little, Carlos left the room unseen to take his friend’s birthday cake. The lights were out again, when he entered the room once more with the birthday cake in form of a milk package. Everyone started to sing happy birthday and of course the Spaniard was the loudest one out of all.

The moment Lando saw his team-mate and the cake he was wearing, his birthday cake they had only made for him, his eyes began to glisten and did sparkle in the soft light of the candles. Carlos placed it right him on the table, while he just couldn’t take his eyes away from him.

He could tell the younger one was very close to tears, way too overwhelmed with the whole situation and attention. Carlos was still watching his friend’s profile closely, not getting enough of it. He finally gave him a small shove, bringing him back to life after his eyes were running from the crowd, to his cake and back to the Spaniard since he had entered the room.

The young Brit smiled as happily as Carlos had never seen him in his life before, before he leaned down to blow out the candles on his cake. Everyone did clap, screamed joyful and lifted their glasses for him, after the flames were out and Lando didn’t know what to do or say any more latest now.

Somehow, and very nervous, he had managed to make kind of speech in front of all these people. Thanking them for being here to celebrate with him, for the cake, for the congratulations, for everything. Lando’s under lip was even shaking a little by the end.

Quickly Carlos gripped for his team-mate’s prepared milk bottle and did handle it to him, so he could clink classes with all of them. When it was finally Carlos’ turn, when he did clink classes with his beer to Lando’s milk, they both started to laugh out loud by that sight.

The Spaniard then gave the other also a chance to spend some time with his younger friend, even when at the moment he actually didn’t want to share him at all. Lando went from one small-talk to the other, from one question about how his birthday at home was to the other.

The Brit looked already pretty exhausted when the two of them stood finally in front of each other over one hour later. It was already a pretty long day for the young racer, but it will probably still take some more time, till he will finally be able to fall into bed tonight.

Carlos didn’t want to strain Lando even more, but there was still one more thing. So the Spaniard leaded him into a more quiet corner of the room, where he did handle him his little birthday present. His eyes widened by the sight, before he said tired but also touched “But you don’t have to buy me anything. I also didn’t give you anything on your birthday. You really didn’t have to.”

Carlos smiled to himself, when he answered “Yeah, but today is your twentieth birthday, it’s your big day. Mine was only a normal birthday, nothing big. And it’s just a small present, so don’t worry about it, little one. Go on, open it finally.”

With a smile on his lips, Lando finally did what he got told and he began to laugh out loud the second he realized what he was holding there in his hands. In the end he laughed already so much that tears had built up in his eyes, while he still held the socks with the small milk box on them in his hands.

“Thank you so much, Carlos.” Lando said between laughers, before the Spaniard asked still happily shocked about how excited he was for this actually stupid present. Normally everyone did hate to get socks as a gift.

“Do you really like them?” He asked still a little unsure, but when Lando answered him them, he finally got it that it was the right choice to give them to him. “Of course, I do. Very much even. These are my favourite socks for now on.”

It took Carlos by surprise, when Lando pulled his arms over his neck to hug him close. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around his small upper body to hold him close, while he buried his nose between his neck and shoulder to inhale his scent. How much he had missed him. Carlos did realize it once more, while having him so close.

“Thank you so much, Carlos. For everything.” Lando whispered so close to the sensible skin of his friend’s neck, giving him goose bumps while doing so. “You’re welcome, little man. For you always.”

The party went on a little more after that. Carlos already had his fourth beer, when Lando next to him began to decline more and more with every minute. In the end he did lean himself already against his side, while he really tried to keep up with the conversations they were having with the still present team members.

The young Brit had already much trouble to keep his eyes opened and he did yaw every few moments. Finally, Carlos had watched his state long enough, when he told the rest that it was time for him to bring the little baby right here to bed.

His cousin and Lando’s trainer did follow them, so the young Brit first had to go alone to his room. But he wasn’t alone for long, when minutes later it knocked at his door and Carlos’ head pocked trough the half opened door after some seconds.

“Hey.” The older one greeted him with a wide grin on his lips, while he closed the door behind himself. “Hey.” Lando answered, already laying with his pyjama on and ready to finally fall asleep in his bed.

Quickly Carlos made his way over to him to crawl under bed sheets as well. Both of their throats let out noises of comfort, when Carlos was finally able to hug him tightly and not letting go again. They both kept quiet, just enjoyed the silence and each other company.

The party was nice, but laying under the warm bed sheets on the soft mattress together with Lando’s favourite person was so much better than all the small talks, hands he had shaken and the congratulations he had got tonight.

That was how the young racer wanted to spend his birthday. With Carlos, and no one else. It felt so good to finally have him close again, after so many days of longing for him. After everything what had happened on this very long day, Lando was so tired and exhausted, but he didn’t want to fall asleep in his team-mate’s arms just now. He still wanted to enjoy this moment a little longer.

Carlos had wrapped his right arm around his shoulders, so he could hold him close against his chest, while Lando hold himself onto by his friend’s belly in return. Nothing could bring these two apart right now. The Spaniard’s shooting breath tickled the younger one, while Carlos had buried his nose deep inside his curls and sniffed his scent deep inside his lungs.

When his right hand did wander from where he held Lando’s small shoulder plate closer to his own body to his locker back, finally disappearing slowly under his sleeping shirt so he could stroke the soft skin there, the young Brit cuddled himself even closer against his friend and he almost began to purr like a little kitten.

So Carlos knew the younger one hadn’t already fallen asleep, why he finally whispered into the darkness of the room “It was a pretty long day for you, huh?” Agreeing Lando nodded his head, while he thought about what had all happened to him today. And he just had to decide, that it was his best birthday so far.

“Yeah, I never had birthday for so long in my life before. But I have to admit about it being pretty exhausting. I’m really getting old.” Lando answered and yawed long to emphasize the said. Carlos snored, before he smiled to himself and pulled his younger friend even closer.

“How was your flight, little one?” Lando had to smile to himself, while he thought about the hours he had spent listening to his team-mate’s singing voice. “It was alright. I have found myself a new favourite song, I have listened to it almost the whole time. It’s actually a cover.” He informed the older one with still a big grin on his lips, but before Carlos could even ask about his new favourite song, the smaller one added more seriously “Thank you so much for your present, Carlos. It’s the best I have ever got.”

“Really? But it were only socks and I gave them to you more for a gag than a real, serious present. I have seen them somewhere in London and I had to thought about you instantly, when I saw them and..” The Spaniard was kind of shocked about his friend’s reaction to his little present, but then Lando did interrupt him, when he explained “I didn’t mean the socks. I mean.. yeah I also really like them, but.. I have actually meant the birthday song you have sang for me. That was the sweetest thing someone has ever done for me.”

Carlos smiled then all happily, but at the same time also a little embarrassed and touched, at his younger friend. “You really don’t have to thank me for anything, little one. The sweetest birthday song for the sweetest, little man on this world. It’s just fair.” Lando giggled sweetly about his team-mate’s words, before he laid down with his head on top of Carlo’s chest, wanting some more cuddles before he will finally fall asleep, knowing that it won’t take so much longer any more.

“You deserve the world and even more.” Carlos whispered, while he stroked through his friend’s sweet curls. “I have missed you so much, little one.” Lando didn’t know if he had only dreamed it or not, but still he whispered in response “I have missed you too, every second.”

Lando then began to yaw at least twenty times every minute and once he flinched together so badly, just when had almost entered the land of dreams, and fall off his friend’s chest because of it. “Come here, little one.” Carlos whispered and brought the two of them into a more comfortable position with Lando in front of his chest, the Spaniard hugging him from behind and holding him close to his body.

The young Brit pressed his back deeper into the warmth of his friend’s body, feeling so loved, protected and welcomed like nowhere else on the whole world, than in Carlos’ strong arms.

Lando was again shortly before falling asleep again, when the Spaniard leaned closer to kiss his tremble and whisper softly into his ear “Feliz cumpleanos. No matter how old you will get, you will always be my little baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this one was actually only about Lando's big day. It became longer than I have first expected, so the next chapter will be about the race weekend. 
> 
> And because I also want to write one whole chapter about last week, between Brazil and this weekend's race, I really want to upload the next chapter already in the next days. The only problem - I haven't even written one word of it..   
But I really hope to be able to upload it before the last race of the year.
> 
> So everything will kind of move a little out of order, but when the last race will finally be here in my story, everything will happen pretty quickly, believe me ;)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and I'm really looking forward to your sweet comments.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!! <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, this chapter ended up waaay too long.. Sorry for that, but I hope you will still enjoy it.

As great as the race weekend had started with Lando’s Birthday and finally being able to spend some time with Carlos together again, as awful the qualification turned out on Saturday. First Lando hadn’t even noticed what had happened with Carlos, he was way too busy with to focus on himself and his car.

Sure he was very disappointed himself and also angry for not getting into Q3, but when he saw that Carlos’ car was also already parked in their motorhome, so many mechanics were standing around it and worked on it with much effort, he knew something had gone wrong by his team-mate too.

He asked the next person he saw about what had happened and only then he got to know about the Spaniard not being able to make just one time. Carlos will have to start at the very back tomorrow. Lando didn’t know what was worse, not being able to drive and give everything you had wanted at all or getting the chance like himself and still screwing it up.

The younger one felt instantly bad for his friend, Carlos really didn’t deserve this. What a shitty day. Later he saw his friend on the other side of the motorhome, standing there all disappointed and down, looking at his car, trying to figure out what had happened and why.

Best Lando wanted to go over to him and cheer him up, but he didn’t know what he should do. Did Carlos maybe want a hug or no body contact at all right now? Would it be the right thing to join him and talk to him? But about what he should talk about? What did the Spaniard usually tell him, when he feels so awful like he did right now?

Every one of the team was more or less already used to that Lando was this way, just in a very bad mood, whenever something like this happened to him, like a little boy who didn’t got what he wanted. They were all already used to his behaviour, but seeing the same reaction by Carlos now was something new no one knew how to handle it. But even when the young Brit felt all these feelings in this moment too, he still wasn’t feeling as bad as his friend.

It was very unusual for Carlos to be this way. Normally he at least talked to people, gave them a small smile and still thanked them for their work, but today he only stood there in the corner and watched the mechanics work, even when Lando knew he wasn’t really watching them.

The Spaniard just wanted to think in silence, pretending like he did follow their movements, while he tried to figure out himself how he will make his way from the very last place to his usual, deserved place under the top ten tomorrow. If the car will be drivable tomorrow anyway. Who could say so now, because all the mechanics were as clueless as Carlos himself about what was wrong. He tried to make himself a plan about how to fight back, to take the anger he had deep inside his chest into the race tomorrow and use it for his own good.

Not even Carlos’ cousin was by his side. He was all alone, leaning in the corner and so also Lando didn’t want to bother him. He seemed to want to be alone right now, so he gave his friend the space. For the rest of the day the older one was way too quiet and understandably in a very bad mood.

After a way quieter dinner than usual at their motorhome, without fooling around and laughing much like usual, Lando was finally all alone in his hotel room and he thought about tonight being the first night since months to sleep alone again, while his friend was just a few rooms away from him.

A random movie was playing in the background, but the young racer didn’t give it any attention at all. He was waiting, just waiting for the awaited knock at his door. But it didn’t come. Maybe he should get up and better knock at Carlos’ hotel room door. But what if he didn’t want to see him right now? He probably still preferred it to be alone, to have some space.

Lando sighted, while he checked his phone for probably the twentieth time if Carlos had maybe messaged him or maybe he had missed a call from him. But there was nothing and the young Brit had to accept about his team-mate wanting to be alone tonight.

Of course the day had to get even worse, he thought to himself, while he made his way into the bathroom to take a shower before going to bed. He just wanted to step under the hot water streams, when he saw the bright screen of his phone from the corner of his eyes.

‘Are you still up?’ Carlos had written and only then Lando got it how late it had become, after he had waited so long for a sign of life from the Spaniard. ‘Yeah. I just wanted to take a shower.’ Only after he had pressed the sent-bottom, the smaller one got it that he should have added something, or he really won’t see his friend tonight any more.

‘But I’m finished in ten minutes. If you want you can already come over?’ Lando bit down on his lower lip, hopefully he it didn’t sound too desperately even when he really wanted to share one bed with him together tonight again. But before he could worry too much about it, he got one more short message from the Spaniard ‘Alright.’

It was simply and really not Carlos-like, but it was enough for Lando to step inside the shower with a small smile on his lips, already excited to get some cuddles tonight. About ten minutes later he only stepped with his boxers on outside the bathroom. He hadn’t taken his pyjama with him, because he really hadn’t expected the older one to come to him tonight any more.

But here he was, laying on top of his double bed and it seemed like Carlos had planned to stay. Because he was laying shirtless under his bed sheets and even when the television was still on and the Spaniard even looked into the direction of it, Lando knew he wasn’t following the plot of the random movie.

He was still deep inside his thoughts. Carlos also hadn’t even noticed Lando standing there in the middle of the room looking at him with still lightly wet curls, reddened cheeks from the hot water and only with his boxers on.

The young Brit’s pyjama was buried under the pillows Carlos leaned against and first he had wanted to get the cloth with telling his friend so, but somehow he did decide against it.

Instead, he watched his team-mate close, who still hadn’t even got his presence. It felt wrong, because normally Lando got Carlos’ whole attention whenever he entered the same room, but now he didn’t even look at him. Just when the young Brit began to feel stupid, standing there half-naked in front the older one, an idea crossed his mind and the thought didn’t let him go again.

Slowly he made his way over to Carlos, before he sat down and watched his reaction to it. There was still nothing, no look, no move, no sound. So Lando lifted the blanket under his friend’s body was buried and carefully crawled closer, till their bodies met.

Like him Carlos was also only wearing his boxers. It was the first time that the two of them were wearing so less at the same time in bed. The sudden, unexpected skin to skin contact made the Spaniard almost jump and he finally noticed his team-mate next to him.

Lando sucked his under lip between his teeth, not knowing if that idea was really that great like he had first thought. But at least he was looking at him now. “Carlos?” The smaller one asked softly, before he hummed in answer and kept on eyeing him curious.

“I’m really sorry about what had happened today. But it’s definitely not your fault, so you shouldn’t be so hard to yourself. Tomorrow is another day and I’m pretty sure you will show them all what a great racer you are, what you are able to do and I know you will fight your way back.” Trying to cheer him up even more, the younger one showed him a sweet smile, which Carlos did finally response after some moments looking at him like something had just changed his life forever.

“Thank you, little one. I’m sorry for being this way to you since hours. But I just can’t understand it and it makes me crazy. I can’t think about anything else any more.” Carlos told him, while he rubbed his palms up and down his face.

While the Spaniard had his arms still up, Lando did something without thinking about it too much, when he easily slipped between Carlos’ arm and his side, so he could rest his head on top of his chest and wrapped his right arm over his belly to hold himself onto him.

Finally, the older once arms wrapped around his upper body as well, after a few seconds of hesitate, not knowing what was going on first. But then Carlos smiled to himself about his team-mate’s sweet way and how badly he tried to cheer him up.

“It’s okay. I feel pretty shitty too, so don’t worry.” Lando told him, looking up at him with those big puppy eyes. Now it was Carlos’ turn to give him one compassionate smile, before he whispered softly and pulled him even closer “Come here, little one. Today is definitely not our day.”

Feeling the Spaniard’s skin against his own made up everything what had happened today for Lando. He felt good, didn’t think and worry about anything any more, at least as long as he was laying in Carlos’ arms. Maybe his strong arms did really protect him from the world outside. He was safe right now.

Why had they never came up with that idea before? Laying only with their boxers on next to each other. The skin to skin contact felt so incredible good, made them feel so warm and soothed both of them, till they weren’t one bit angry or disappointed after today any more.

“You are right, little one. I shouldn’t be so hard to myself, but you also definitely shouldn’t feel this way as well. I’m only feeling better if you are feeling better too.” Carlos whispered, while they were both laying on their sides and looked at each other.

“I will try, but you know me.” Lando whispered in response, he really tried to be, think and act like his team-mate had already told him so often, but he sometimes couldn’t help himself. “I just hate these qualifications. I’m always so nervous and I still make these stupid, rookie mistakes and..”

But before Lando could keep going, he suddenly felt Carlos index finger against his lips to quieten his words, while he shushed him softly. “Don’t, little one. You know that’s not true.” His finger still pressed against the young Brit’s lips and he didn’t know why but somehow he began to feel so warm.

A shiver ran down his spine, when Carlos finally put his index finger away and the sensible skin of his lips did try to stick against his finger as long as it could. With the same index finger under his chin the Spaniard lifted Lando’s head, while he said calmly “Heads up, little one. You know, someone told me before to not be so hard to myself. Maybe you should try that too. I mean yeah, this one came from someone almost being still a kid, but from time to time he is trustworthy, even right.”

The older one did grin at his friend playfully, while Lando rolled his eyes and pushed softly Carlos’ shoulder. “I just hope for tomorrow being better, to both of us.” They were laying on their backs and stared up at the ceiling now, legs knotted into each other. “Me too, little one. Me too.”

But what the next day really brought, they would have never ever believed, if someone had told them so the day before. They wouldn’t have even dared to dream about it, but after the very disappointing qualification just the day before, the unbelievable happened on Sunday.

After this shitty race for Lando had finally finished, he quickly searched for some space inside his room. It really wasn’t his worst race, but also not his best. He knew he would have been able to be at least P6, but he was so damn slow with these stupid tires. God, Brazil really wasn’t his weekend.

At least Carlos had a very good race today. He made his best place with P4 today. He had started from the very last place, did fight him all the way so far under the top five without making any mistakes, at least none Lando had heard about after the few words he had caught up after the race from the surrounding people.

Of course his team-mate had also benefited from the Ferrari’s DNF, so had Lando, instead he would have just made it to be under the top ten which would have been even worse. They all had made two places good without doing anything and he still didn’t know if he should feel happy or bad about it.

Lando was still sitting all alone inside his room and tried to get by with himself, when Carlos entered the room and sat down opposite to him. “Thank you for what you have done for me today, little one.” He said in a soft voice, touching his upper arms and holding onto there for a few moments while telling him so.

“It’s okay. I didn’t do it out of choice.” Lando was still angry at himself, but when he caught his friend’s reaction after the said, he quickly added “I mean, I’m happy if I could help you with letting you by. I was damn slow anyway with these stupid tires, but in the end it also didn’t bring you on the podium so.”

“Who says that?” Carlos answered with a big smile on his lips and Lando really couldn’t interpret his expression or what he meant with that. So he looked all confused at his older friend and frowned his forehead badly. Finally, the Spaniard explained it to him, when he answered and tried to suppress his excitement at the same time “They talk about Lewis getting a penalty. If we have at least a little luck, we will maybe end up on the podium.”

With an opened mouth Lando was staring in unbelief at his friend, unable to say even one word. After staring at him for seconds like that, Lando suddenly sprang to his feet and began to squeak around his room, his sadness from just seconds ago completely forgotten. But his happiness found a soon end, when he felt his friend’s hands on top of his shoulder, trying to stop him so from jumping around like a little kid.

“Wait, can you promise me something, little one?” Carlos asked more serious again than before, while he looked down at him with those dark brown eyes of him. Quickly Lando nodded agreeing his head, even when he didn’t know why the Spaniard was this way, when he should actually do the same as him.

“Can you save your happiness for when it’s official? If it gets ever official. I just don’t want to get all excited now to get even more disappointed, if it shouldn’t be true.” Of course, the young Brit understood what he meant and also how he was probably feeling at the moment. Once more Lando nodded his head, before Carlos smiled down at him and let his arms fall all nervous to his sides again. “Alright. Now we have to wait.”

It was the most awkward situation after a race ever. While Lando was already in his usual team clothes, Carlos still had his race suit on, too nervous to even think about changing his clothes. That didn’t bother him at the moment, because it really wasn’t his biggest problem.

Normally they all start to bag their things at this time, but right now they were all sitting around, waiting, waiting and waiting. It became the worst, when they could hear the ceremony outside, the crowd screaming at the top three, the hymns.

If it was really true, than Carlos should stand out there on the third place instead of Lewis. Why did they need so much time to make that decision? They had thought about it happen latest when the top three will be in the cool-down-room, but then the ceremony started and they still hadn’t made an official decision.

From the corner of his eyes Lando watched his team-mate. He looked so tensed, almost ill with sweat drops on his forehead, while he looked kind of pale. He would have deserved it so much to stand up there and let get himself celebrated. No one did deserve it more in Lando’s eyes than his friend. It was his best race in Formula One so far, Carlos had said it himself. He had put his whole heart into it.

It was completely quiet, till the ceremony was over and so also Carlos’ chance to be there. After, they tried to talk to each other, to start kind of conversations or at least some small-talk. Everyone tried to calm down the Spaniard’s nerves, but Lando didn’t know if they were only making it worse with it. But still he tried it himself, when he made some jokes and the older one smiled half-hearted at them.

Carlos told them that he didn’t want to talk about the race, so they tried to find another topic, which really wasn’t very easy at that moment. Finally, Carlos, his cousin and Lando were sitting inside the Spaniard’s room in silence again. All three not knowing what to say any more, while Carlos bit down on his thumb the whole time long. Never before the young Brit had seen him so nervous and tensed.

Lando himself also couldn’t sit still any more, god it felt like days had already passed by while they were still waiting for the damn decision. Finally, he stood up and asked the other two, if they also wanted something to drink. Carlos shook his head and when Lando looked over at his team-mate he wasn’t even looking at him, he just stared at some random point on the floor.

The younger one decided to pick up one bottle of water for his friend as well, while he made his way over to the fridge. After taking one sip from his own bottle, he had just wanted to make his way back, when he could hear someone screaming. It was Carlos. That could only mean one thing. They had made it.

Without caring for the bottles in his hands any more, he let them fall to the ground, before he ran into the direction of his team-mate’s room from which Carlos stormed out with the brightest smile he had ever seen on his lips.

The Spaniard’s eyes seemed to have searched for the younger one, because when he finally spotted Lando running into his direction, they began to shine even brighter and he was all ready when Lando jumped happily into his arms with a big momentum.

Together they did scream like little kids now, but they had never cared less in their lives than right now. “You made it, Carlos! You are third, you are THIRD!” Lando screamed while he had still wrapped his legs around his team-mate’s middle and hugged him tightly.

When Lando almost fell down, because the older one was jumping up and down that wildly, Carlos still let him down on his feet all safe again, even when he was so excited, before the two of them start to jump up and down simultaneous.

After that, Lando couldn’t really remember about the exact sequence of events any more. Every one of the team wanted to congratulate Carlos, shake his hand or hug him. He got shoved around the place, till he got dragged to his first interview.

The next time Lando saw his team-mate again, he was holding and caring around his third-place-trophy like a baby in his arms. He looked so happy, so endless happy and relieved like he had never seen him before. And Carlos deserved it, he deserved it so much like no one else.

Since Carlos had told him about the chance to get a podium, the young Brit had totally forgotten about the disappointment at his own race. His feelings were second now, because he was incredible happy for his friend. Sure, he played like he was still bitter about his race, maybe deep inside he really was, but it was only for fun and it did somehow fit into this weird situation. Lando really wasn’t jealous at Carlos. He was truly happy for him.

Then everything happened like in a very weird movie. The whole team stood on the podium, they had the place for their own. The fans were gone, just some cameras and people walking by were left. They did celebrate like they had just won the championship, but if Lando was serious, it really exactly felt like that even.

Never he had wanted to steal Carlos the show, it was his podium, his celebration, his win, so he stepped down from the podium so the Spaniard became the whole attention he deserved so much. But quickly Lando got pulled up on the podium again by his friend’s hand, taking him so right back to his side, where Carlos obviously thought he belonged to.

“Stay with me.” He had told him, while looking him still blissfully happy into his eyes and Lando thought about that his mouth angels probably had already to hurt after having that wide smile on his lips, since he had got to know about his third place. Of course, the young racer stayed by his friend’s side, like Carlos had wanted it so badly. He would do anything to make him happy.

While the young Brit beamed at his friend, watched his profile closely, he got it how right Carlos’ was at that one interview back then. About the two of them ending up together on the podium the next time McLaren will be under the top three. He was right, he always was. Never in his life before he was so damn happy about an eight place.

Later when they did celebrate in front of their box, when they made even more pictures than they already had, sang smooth operator and super Lando for the twentieth time, it still felt all so unreal, especially after yesterday.

The hug Carlos gave him after he had sprayed him with champagne from top to bottom, made Lando speechless for some moments, because he realized then how glad and happy the Spaniard was for him to be here, right next to his side and celebrate even after his race wasn’t that great.

Of course, they had to celebrate, even when it had all happened so unexpected or maybe even because of that. They had a great time back at the hotel, with some more champagne and partying till late into the night. Every few minutes Carlos hugged his younger team-mate still all overwhelmed and Lando snuggled always close to his friend’s side. Enjoying every second of their body contact.

This time Lando held himself back with drinking too much alcohol, because he didn’t want to ruin Carlos’ night with getting sick again like the last time. Also he wanted to remember ever little moment about this day. About his friend’s smile, the way he was holding the trophy in his hands, how bright his eyes were shining just when he thought about the today’s happenings.

Maybe the Spaniard had always imagined his first podium way different, but looking back at it now he couldn’t have got a better one. Even when he couldn’t be on the podium by the official ceremony, he got a private one with the whole team, with the people he cared about and was so thankful for what they had done for him to make this happen and also with Lando together.

It was perfect and even when he would have never forgotten his first podium anyway, he definitely won’t ever forget this one. Carlos wouldn’t change anything, he would always do it again.

It was way over midnight, when Lando and Carlos left the party at last. Of course, they did, it was Carlos’ big party they had to be there and celebrate till the very end. And of course the Spaniard had drunk much beer, champagne and maybe even some other drinks.

Lando did support his older friend, while he helped him to walk over to the elevators. Carlos was still in a very good mood, he whined a little when they left the party even when in the end it was only the two of them any more. But it was time for Lando to get his pretty drunken team-mate to bed, before Carlos won’t be able to get there on his own any more. They had enjoyed every second of the afternoon and night.

The older once cheeks were reddened from the amount of alcohol he had consumed over the last hours, his eyelids had to be already pretty heavy because he had much trouble to keep them open at all, looking at him through a small split. Carlos did stagger around, making Lando a hard time to save him from running at the next wall or pillar.

The whole time he giggled like a little kid and Lando also couldn’t stop himself from doing so, but he was pretty relieved when he had manoeuvrer his friend finally all save into the elevator. A little out of breath the young Brit pressed the bottom for their floor, before he looked over his shoulder back to his friend.

Carlos was standing in the corner, leaned himself against the wall, while he held his trophy in his arms like a baby again. He was doing so already the whole time long, whenever he had it in his hands, like someone could take it away from again, if he wouldn’t hold it that tight against his chest.

Lando smiled to himself, while he watched his friend. Finally, he leaned himself against the wall next to him, still watching his profile close. “You know, you don’t have to hold it like that all the time. No one will take it away from you any more. It’s all yours, forever. You deserve it so much, Carlos.”

Without response anything to his words, Carlos kept on staring at some random point in front of him. Lando smiled once more to himself, before he carefully leaned closer to place a kiss on his friend’s reddened cheek. But shortly before his lips touched the warm skin, Carlos did move his head suddenly and instead of his cheek, the young Brit caught the corner of his team-mate’s mouth.

Even more, when he found the corner of his friend’s thicker under lip between his lips. Quickly Lando pulled away again, when he got it what soft flesh he had just touched and gasped all shocked. It wasn’t his intention to almost kiss him or was it already a real kiss even? No, it wasn’t.

With an opened mouth and widened eyes the young Brit stared at his older friend, waiting for any reaction of him. Waiting for him to ask him what the hell he was doing. Waiting for him to maybe close the distance between their lips again. Waiting for any reaction at all. But nothing came.

Carlos just looked back at him. His eyes were more opened than before, looking right into his, causing goose bumps everywhere on his skin and giving him chills. His lips were opened a split and looked so kissable and welcoming. Almost, almost Lando had leaned forward once again and had covered his so soft and smooth looking lips with his.

He already had his eyes on them, only on them any more. He almost frightened, when he watched them move and he could hear his adorable Spanish accent in a whisper, asking him “Am I dreaming this?”

First Lando didn’t know about what he was exactly talking about at the moment? About his first podium in Formula One or about their almost kiss. Confused he searched his expression for the right answer. But even when he didn’t find it, the young Brit still began to smile warmly at him, before he whispered back “No, you don’t. It’s all real.”

The answer would fit to both, letting it on Carlos himself to decide what he had actually meant with his question. When the doors of the elevator finally opened after a half eternity, Lando kept on smiling at his friend, before he pointed with his head at the trophy in his arms and said a little teasing “C’mon, let us bring your baby to bed.”

Slowly Carlos pushed himself away from the wall but somehow he seemed to have forgotten about how to walk, while he still looked at his friend with the same expression, like he couldn’t believe what was going on and what happened to him.

Without thinking about it too much Lando gripped for his hand to lead him out of the elevator. They kept on holding hands while they went down the long floor to Lando’s room. Somewhere during their way their fingers had laced into each other and the young Brit just had to smile back at his older team-mate over his shoulder.

Even when his look was more serious now, he looked still very relieved, satisfied, happy and proud about being able to take the trophy around like his baby, his trophy. With just one hand the young Brit searched for his key card inside his pocked, opened finally the door to his room and did lead the two of them inside.

They were still holding onto themselves tightly by their hands, but they had to separate their bodies for some moments, so that they could get out of their clothes. Carlos finally gave the trophy out of his arms and placed it all carefully on the night stand next to his bedside.

Lando had to smile to himself then, it was literary his friend’s biggest treasure now. Quickly they both got out of their clothes and because it had felt so good to sleep almost naked next to each last night, they did repeat it once more when they crawled only with their boxers on under the bed sheets.

They both did lay on their sides, the top of their noses almost touched so close but still so far away they were from each other, while they seemed to search for something deep inside the other once eyes.

It was finally Carlos, who broke the silence when he whispered into the darkness “Thank you so much for what you have done for me today, little one. I won’t ever forget that. I really, really owe you something.” Lando smiled then, knowing so many things the Spaniard could give him to make it good again, but then he remembered about that his friend didn’t owe him anything.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything, Carlos. I haven’t even done anything at all. I just let you by. You were way faster than me, it was the best for the team. I’m not angry or anything like that at you, I’m just really, really happy about your third place.”

Carlos then searched for his friend’s hand under the bedsheets, finding it instantly and lacing their fingers together again like before. “That’s not what I have meant, at least not all. You stood up there with me together, on the podium. You shared my happiness with me, even when you were disappointed about today’s race. I can see it in your eyes, little one. You didn’t have to do this, but you still have and you made everything just even better. I know it wasn’t easy for you, but you made me so happy and I can’t even tell you how much this means to me. Thank you so much, little one and don’t be sad. Your time will come and I know you will stand on the very top then. Just keep on pushing. I believe in you and I can’t wait for this to happen.”

Where there some tears glistening in Carlos’ eyes? Maybe the alcohol had made him so maudlin, but then the young Brit got it how much it had really meant to his friend, how important his presence was for him, how much he had wanted him next to his side.

Lando could feel some tears building up in his eyes as well, but he somehow managed to swallow them down, before they could fall over the edge. But still his voice did sound small and shaking, when he only managed to whisper back “You would have done the same for me, Carlos.”

“I will, little one. I will.” The Spaniard whispered in response, while he thought about what a great gentleman his younger team-mate was the whole day. His behave really surprised him, even when at the same time it didn’t surprise him at all. Of course, he would act like that. Lando had put a smile on his face, even though Carlos was sure about it not being entirely easy for him.

Lando was still a racer and he wanted nothing more than holding a trophy on his own in his hands as well. But today he was more a friend than a racer and Carlos really, really admired that. It warmed up his heart from to bottom to the top. He was a true gentleman trough and trough, even when he still looked like a kid.

They kept laying like that for a beautiful, half eternity. Looking at each other without saying one word, because their eyes did speak for them while they took in each other faces and their perfection. When Carlos expression suddenly changed into kind of shocked, the young Brit worried about that maybe he started to feel ill after the amount of alcohol, but then the older one just looked over his shoulder back at his third place trophy, checking if it was still there.

Lando giggled when he got the real reason behind his friend’s expression and said amused “Don’t worry, it’s still there and it won’t run away.” He still kept on looking at the trophy, so the young Brit added “Don’t you want to take it next to you into bed? Cuddle with it?” It did surprise the smaller one, when Carlos answered fast and secure, even when he still looked at it “No.”

The young racer frowned in response, surprised about his answer and especially the way he had said it. When the older one finally looked at him again, he added to stop his confusedness “Cause I have found myself something better to cuddle with.”

With that Carlos threw his arm over Lando and pulled him closer against his body, so nothing did separate them from each other any more. Once more the younger one giggled, while he cuddled himself against his friend’s warm skin. Laying as close as possible next to each and still holding hands, they quickly fell asleep after this so exciting day.

Lando woke up first next morning. While he laid there and stared up at the ceiling, he thought about yesterday, about everything what had happened and he still couldn’t believe it was true. The young racer had finally decided it to be true, because Carlos’ trophy was still standing there on the night stand and did shine in the morning sun.

Carlos.

A warm, but still sleepy smile spread out on his lips, when he rolled on his side to watch his friend close. The Spaniard was still sleeping deep and peacefully, laying so close next to him on his belly.

Lando really couldn’t resist to slide his fingers through his dark mane. His hair did feel so perfect, so smooth. God, how much he did work ship his team-mate. How much he cared about him. How much..

Carlos began to move then, his strokes had slowly woken him up. His eyelids blinked, before he started to grumble. The older one needed some moments to get used to the light and the way his head was feeling this morning after last night.

“Good morning.” Lando greeted him amused, feeling all great himself. Just being happy for not being the drunken one last night. “Good morning, little one.” Carlos greeted him sleepy but still sweetly, but then his expression suddenly changed and the young Brit just wanted to ask him what was wrong, when he asked scared.

“Was it all a dream? I’m afraid about looking over my shoulder and not seeing the trophy standing there any more.” Slowly the young racer began to smile, before he calmed down his friend’s nerves, when he answered “You can look, it’s still there. I mean, you could have also stolen it yesterday, who knows. But it’s still right there waiting for you.”

Now Carlos did also smile again, before he quickly turned around and gripped for his trophy. Lando was surprised about him not getting dizzy, but his team-mate’s focus was all on his third place trophy now. With big eyes he did look at it, really look at it now.

He followed every line with his eyes but also every notch all carefully with his fingertips. “A dream has come true for me yesterday, little one.” Carlos whispered, while Lando eyed him close, his head resting on his hand. “I know.” He answered, still busy with watching his friend. But what Lando didn’t know about was Carlos’ second big dream.

Him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I must say Lando behaved like a gentleman the whole day, he put a smile on his face even though I'm sure it was not entirely easy. But he was genuinely happy for the team, happy for me and it's something nice to see. True gentleman, even though he looks like a kid."  
\- Carlos about Lando's reaction after the Brazil GP; motorsport.com
> 
> I really don't know what to say about these two anymore.. They get more and more adorable with every week. They do write better fanfictions with their behavior to each other than we ever could.
> 
> It really meant the world to Carlos for having Lando up there with him together and I can't tell you how much I adore this.
> 
> I just leave it like this right here..


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again this chapter ended up way too long - sorry for that..
> 
> But I think it's kinda sweet :)

Almost the whole time during their flight back to the United Kingdom, the two McLaren drivers were sleeping, still very exhausted after yesterday and especially the long night they had.

Lando always needed more sleep than Carlos, but today also the older one couldn’t suppress his fatigue, while the smaller one curled up next to him and did rest his head against his shoulder.

About one hour before landing at home, the young Brit woke up, but kept his head right where it was, because Carlos had leaned his head against his and he was obviously still sleeping, so he didn’t want to bother or even wake him up. He just enjoyed his team-mate’s near, while he snuggled a little closer into his side.

Sure he was still all sleepy and the new time-zone didn’t make it any better, but the fact that he won’t be able to see the Spaniard for the next couple of days made him feel so uncomfortable and sad.

Especially after last night. Lando had almost kissed his friend, had even caught the corner of his mouth, but till now Carlos hadn’t said one word about it. Maybe he couldn’t remember about it any more or maybe he could, but just didn’t make a big deal out of it. The younger one didn’t know which version he did like more. Somehow he wished Carlos could remember about it and talk with him about it, but then he decided it to be better this way. After all, it was still an accident. Even when it was a very sweet accident for Lando, something he would like to repeat.

Shortly before landing, also the taller one woke up and after the two of them had stretched themselves long, they sat in silence next to each other, both being deep in their own thoughts. They could already spot London underneath them, when Carlos suddenly said out of nowhere “You know, I will stay in England till the next race. So, if you want we could do something together?”

Lando’s head did snap up at his friend, looking at him all happily and in relieve. Quickly, maybe almost too quickly, he nodded his head and answered still blessed “I would really like to.” A little amused about his reaction, Carlos smiled to himself, before he added “Tomorrow I’m going to shave Rupert’s head, if you want I could pick you up in the afternoon and you can come along with me.”

“Sounds like fun. I will send you my hotel address tomorrow.” Lando said already all excited to be able to spend at least tomorrow afternoon with his friend together. “Great. God, I can’t wait to get into bed and sleep the rest of the day.” Carlos announced, while he yawed long.

Their good-bye wasn’t that difficult for Lando any more with the knowing that not even twenty-four hours later he will already see his team-mate again. The Spaniard waited together with his friend, till Lando’s mother had finally made her way through the traffic to pick up her son.

Lando’s mother shared some words with Carlos, also congratulated him for his podium and how loud she had screamed at the TV screen yesterday. All carefully the older one did finally load his suitcase with his third-place-trophy in the trunk of the taxi, before he said finally good-bye to his younger team-mate and kissed the woman’s cheek, like he always did when Lando’s mother and he meet. Something, his father had told Lando already so often, she did really like about the Spaniard.

Lando enjoyed his free time with his family, even when his mother was a little surprised about him leaving already tomorrow morning again. But when her son told her to meet Carlos in London, she looked relieved and understanding, because she liked the Spaniard, like everyone else. And she knew her son was in good hands by the older one.

Like the young Brit had promised, he texted his team-mate his hotel address next day and in the afternoon Carlos picked him up, before they drove to his trainer’s place. They had much fun and laughed a lot, while the Spaniard shaved his trainer’s head for winning his bet.

Even when Lando didn’t have his team-mate all on his own, he still enjoyed every second he could spend with him together. Still better than sitting at home and thinking about him all the time.

So often Carlos had already teased him about his curls and that they needed a trim, but he was only teasing. Because the older one adored his friend’s curls more than just a little. He loved it to let his fingers slide through them, to see the curly mess in the mornings, wrapping one strain of his soft hair around his finger to make them even curlier and they made Lando look even sweeter than he already was.

Today he had tried it once more with begging his friend to let him cut his hair and even when first Lando didn’t want it, the young Brit had kind of weird relationship to his curls, Carlos had already noticed that, he still agreed to it in the end. Normally he only let professionals close to his locks, but it was Carlos. How could he say no to him, when he was begging him this way and with his so beautiful, dark brown eyes.

So the taller one did carefully cut Lando’s hair tips, adoring it to be able to let his fingers slide through the sweet mess. But of course, he would never cut out too much or even shave Lando’s baby curls. They were way too precious and cute, Carlos would never bring it over his heart.

He just wanted to be able to touch him a little, getting these cute giggles out of him and for one quick second he even played with the thought to really cut out one of these curls to keep it, like the first haircut of a baby. But in the end he was satisfied to be allowed to cut the tips.

Since Carlos had started to cut his hair, Lando had goose bumps everywhere on his skin and it got worst with every touch of his team-mate. He really enjoyed this feeling of getting touched by his hair, while the Spaniard let his fingers slide carefully through his curls. A shiver ran through his body constantly and his whole back started to get all warm.

Best the young Brit wanted to close his eyes to enjoy this moment even more, but he forced himself to keep his eyes opened, because Carlos was standing so close to him. He could watch his so perfect formed face, his beautiful eyes, his so soft looking full lips and he could smell his delicious scent, sending all kind of feelings through his body.

After Carlos was satisfied with Lando’s haircut and he told him that he was looking so much better now, they spent some more time at his trainer’s place, before they left back to London.

It was in the late afternoon, but still way too early to go back to his hotel room already now. But Lando kept quiet, because he didn’t know if maybe Carlos had already plans for the rest of the day.

But once more his friend did surprise him, when he suggested that they could play FIFA or on his sim at his flat. Of course Lando liked the thought to spend some time alone with his team-mate, so he agreed to it with a wild nodding head and a cheeky smile on his lips.

Never before Lando was at Carlos’ place. He even kind of felt honoured to be invited. The rest of the afternoon they did play FIFA and even when Lando did lose most of the time, he was still in a very good mood, just being able to be close to his friend.

Later Carlos ordered them some pizza and after he showed the younger one his sim. Lando felt a little uncomfortable about the face that it was placed in his friend’s bedroom. He didn’t know why, but he just felt this way. But at the same time he felt very honoured again, to be allowed to see so much privacy of his friend.

Carlos didn’t have to do any of these. They could have only been team-mates, nothing more, but here they were. The Spaniard showing his friend the progressed he had made since he had got the sim, while Lando was sitting on the floor next to him and drank his glass of milk, which the Spaniard had been so nice to give him.

They did alternate, one was driving while the other was watching. Carlos was always sitting on top of his bed, it was placed right next to his sim, while the smaller one always sat on the floor. He felt way too uncomfortable to sit down on his bed, maybe the older one also didn’t want him to do so. But finally the Spaniard told him that he could sit on his bed too, if he wanted, he didn’t need to sit on the floor.

Lando’s cheek became some colour then, even when the Spaniard’s eyes were fixed on the screens in front of him. It was different, when they were in hotels, but this one was Carlos’ bed and no one else. It was silly but the younger one did feel honoured once more, because for him his friend’s bed was very private and intimate.

But still he took carefully place on top of the soft mattress, but his flushed cheeks didn’t go away while he thought about that this was Carlos’ bed and about all the things he had probably already done under the bed sheets.

Lando was sitting on top of the soft mattress like on a cloud. He didn’t dare to move to not destroy the bed sheets, even when Carlos had already done so before. Lando also didn’t know if he should better keep his feet on the floor or take them up on the bed as well. He was kind of overwhelmed with the situation, even when it was just a stupid bed.

The two of them kept on like that, switching places every time the other one had finished. It was already pretty late or maybe it wasn’t, Lando couldn’t tell but he suddenly felt somehow sleepy, while he laid on his stomach and watched his friend. It was probably still the jet lag, but he couldn’t help himself when his eyes felt heavier and heavier with every minute.

Carlos was driving at the moment and it didn’t help at all to stay awake, that he was quiet so he could concentrate. Lando tried to keep himself awake with looking through his Instagram feed, but in the end it didn’t help.

Lando didn’t want it, but still he fell asleep on top of his team-mate’s bed. First Carlos hadn’t even noticed so, but when he spoke already for the third time to him and no reaction came from the smaller one, he looked to his left, gasped and almost hit the wall with his car, when he saw Lando sleeping there on top of his bed like an angel.

The Spaniard stopped his race for a moment, when he climbed out of his seat and got closer to him. With a smile on his face Carlos did watch his younger team-mate, looking so damn cute while he was sleeping. Carefully he put Lando’s phone out of his hand, but still he began to move in his sleep and curled up even more.

All protective he placed the blanket over his younger friend and made sure the material was tight against his body, so he had it all warm. Carlos just wanted to end the race he had just started, then he will take the smaller one back to his hotel.

Twenty minutes later Lando was still asleep, when the Spaniard turned off his sim. For the next minutes he just stood there and watched his sweet team-mate sleep. With every second he did hesitant more and more to wake him up and take him away from himself.

In the end Carlos decided that he just couldn’t wake him up, when he was sleeping so peacefully. Lando could spend the night here with him, he really didn’t bring it over his heart to drag him away from his dreams. With that decision the Spaniard had a smile on his lips the whole time he was making himself ready for bed, already looking forward some cuddles with the smaller one.

He had just finished brushing his teeth, when he could hear a whined voice calling his name. Already being pretty close to his bedroom, he could hear Lando’s sleepy voice once more “Carlos? Where are you?” Quickly the Spaniard entered the room and tried to calm down his friend’s nerves when he said “It’s okay, little one. Don’t worry. I’m here.”

With half opened, half closed eyes he was looking up at him like a little puppy, feeling alone and also confused about his being. After a few seconds looking up at him, Lando finally nodded his head, before his eyelids fluttered shot again. “C’mon, little man. Let us get you ready for bed.”

The young Brit whined at the loss of warmth, when Carlos took the bed sheets away from above his small body, which caused the older one to roll his eyes in amusement, but his lips also formed a warm smile. “I just want to get you out of your clothes, little one. C’mon, you will sleep even better then.”

Lando still had his eyes closed, when the taller one began to fumble at his belt to get it opened. Even when he was still half asleep, he did lift his butt, so his friend could roll the material of his jeans over his hips and down his legs, taking his socks all the way down as well.

Somehow the Spaniard had managed it to make Lando sit up for a few seconds, at least so long till he could pull his hoodie over his head, leaving a massive mess of curly hair behind. Like the sweet, pure, innocence puppy he actually he was, the younger one looked up at his team-mate and Carlos just couldn’t hesitant to lean down and press a kiss against his head, before he whispered “It’s time to go to bed, little one. Let me help you.”

Carefully the older one helped his friend to lay down again, this time not across the whole length of his bed. Knowing that Lando was under the warm bed sheets and shortly before falling asleep again, Carlos quickly turned off all the lights in his flat, stripped out of his own clothes, before he got into bed next to Lando.

The young Brit crawled instantly closer to his older friend, looking for his near and warmth. With pleasure Carlos pressed him into his side to have him as close as possible. Quickly the two of them drifted off into a restful sleep.

They only got disturb once, when Lando whispered into the darkness in the middle of the night “Carlos?” The Spaniard hummed in his half-sleep. “Where are we?” The younger one seemed to be a little confused about the situation, so Carlos tried to soothe him with taking his hand and telling him calmly “We are in London, little man, at my flat. Don’t worry. You are safe here with me. Keep going your sweet dreams.”

With the Spaniard’s promise, Lando fell asleep again and so did Carlos for the rest of the night. Next morning he woke up before his team-mate and after he had watched the little one sleeping so peacefully for at least a half eternity, Carlos dragged himself out of bed without waking Lando.

It was early in the morning, but he still made himself already ready to leave for the big party at their factory. The young Brit was still sleeping, while the taller one was already all finished to leave. With a smile on his lips, Carlos leaned against the door frame to his bedroom, watching Lando laying like a god-damn angel inside his bed.

He must have felt his eyes on him, because slowly the smaller one began to move and the second he opened his eyes, Carlos knew he was confused again about where he was. So he did push himself away from where he was leaning the last minutes to go over to his team-mate.

“Good morning, little one.” Carlos greeted him with a warm voice, while he sat down on the edge of his bed. First Lando seemed to be even more confused about his friend being here, but then he was more relieved about not being alone in this stranger room. “Morning.” He finally answered with a cranky voice, while he rubbed his eye with his fists.

After that, Lando began to look around the room, trying to get to know where he was and over all how he had got here and why Carlos was with him. “You are at my flat in London, little one. You have fallen asleep last night and I just couldn’t bring it over my heart to wake you up and bring you to your hotel.”

Lando’s cheeks did blush visible then, while he tried to avoid his friend’s eyes. “Don’t worry, it’s alright. But you really have to stand up right now. You know, we have to go to the factory today. Besides, I wasn’t expecting any guests, so we have to get ourselves breakfast, after I have brought you to your room.”

Lando nodded understanding his head, even when he would have preferred it to cuddle some minutes under the warm bed sheets with his friend. So the two of them did like Carlos had said and for the next two hours the young Brit felt a little uncomfortable about just falling asleep in his team-mate’s bed last evening, so he had to keep him for the night.

But the Spaniard didn’t seem to have bothered about that, but still Lando promised himself to not ever let this happen again. Maybe it was too much, too private. Sleeping in the same bed in hotels was one thing, but sleeping in Carlos own bed together was another.

“You look good.” The Spaniard had noted, after the younger one had got out of his jacket at the bakery, seeing into which nice clothes he had changed during the twenty minutes he had waited for him in the car. “Thanks. You also look pretty handsome.” Lando gave back the compliment with flushed cheeks.

Latest after having breakfast the smaller one felt alright again and was ready for the team party. It was nice to celebrate their first podium after years like that. He was still so happy for his friend, he couldn’t describe it with words, but he tried when he let everyone know about it.

After having lunch and spending some more time at the factory, the party was over in the early afternoon. The two team-mates didn’t know what to do with their unexpected free time now, why Carlos suggested already all excited “We could go ice skating.”

Lando frowned, while he looked at his friend from the passenger seat. “Don’t look at me like that, we could really do that. I wasn’t ice skating since years and I have heard there must be a big ice skating place in the middle of London.”

“I don’t know.” The younger one answered unsure, he didn’t like that thought. “Oh, c’mon, little one. Why not? We would have so much fun.” Lando looked out of the window, then unsure down at his fingers on his lab. “Maybe you would have fun. I hate ice skating.”

“How can you hate ice skating?” Carlos asked confused, while he eyed his friend a little worried about his reaction. “Cause..” The young Brit stammered unsure, before he finally said it out loud, maybe a little too quick “..I’m not good at it. Horrible even. Besides, I’m afraid about that someone could cut off my fingers.”

The Spaniard tried to suppress a smile and laugh, not wanting to make his friend even more uncomfortable. But now Carlos understood, Lando wasn’t good at it and he didn’t want to admit it to not being good enough for his liking in something. That was the problem about being a racer, you always want to be good in everything.

“Don’t worry about that, I can teach you and I will protect you from everyone who gets too close to your tiny fingers.” Lando smiled to himself, when Carlos looked over at him and teased. “Besides no one would recognize you under this cap and no one would expect a Formula one driver being bad in ice skating. They will think that I’m just a dad teaching his little son.”

The older one reached out to pull his friend’s hat even deeper into his face, which caused him to giggle. “Okay, okay. Let’s go ice skating. But don’t expect too much from me.”

One hour later the two of them stood with their borrowed ice skating shoes at the entrance. Carlos got in first, making three little rounds to get used to the feeling again, after not doing it for years. When he felt secure enough himself, he got back to the entrance, just to see Lando standing there, eyeing the ice sceptical, already regretting his agreement to this.

“C’mon, little one. Give it a try. It’s really not that bad.” Carlos tried to encourage him, but Lando’s look should tell him that he could easily say something like that, being already a pro again, like in everything he did.

But to do his friend a favour, the young Brit breathed deep inside his lungs for one more time before stepped unsure closer. He held himself onto the half high wall with both of his hands, when he stepped on the ice with the first foot. He muttered something under his breath Carlos couldn’t understand, he just watched him with raised eyebrows.

Somehow the younger one had made it to get both of his feet on the ice. He was holding himself onto the wall with both of his hands now like it did depend on his life, while he stood there like he had just peed himself. “And now?” Lando asked over his shoulder back to his friend.

After Carlos had shaken his head to wake up from staring in disbelieve at his friend, he got closer to him, when he said “Let go, of course.” Lando rolled his eyes, it obviously wasn’t the answer he was searching for. “Oh, really. Thanks for letting me know.” He said all sarcastic and now the Spaniard couldn’t hold back his smile any more, also because Lando was still showing him his back.

“I meant.. I can’t let go. If I do I..” The younger one tried to explain, before he let his head fall between his shoulders. “I’m right behind you, little one. Nothing can happen. Just let go for a few seconds. It will be alright, you will see.”

After some more moments of uncertainty, Lando slowly let go and nothing happened. He just stood there on the ice with shaking legs. Carlos just wanted to give him more space, his hands still all close to his body in case something should really happen, when the younger one tried to turn around to him.

On the half-way Lando began to move his arms like a helicopter, trying to get back his balance. Quickly and easily Carlos caught him and stopped him from falling. “Damn, you really can’t ice skating.” The Spaniard admitted shocked. He had thought his friend was only making fun with him, but he had said the truth.

“Oh really, didn’t know that. Thanks.” Lando answered bitter. Best he wanted to run away, but this wasn’t possible at the moment. Ashamed he looked down at the ice, still holding himself onto Carlos arms to not fall over again.

The taller one couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud now, which caused his friend to get even more embarrassed. “I’m sorry, little one. It’s okay, it really is. C’mon, I will show you how. I will teach you.” Lando flinched together and got all stiff, when Carlos began to move and took him so with him.

“No, no. I don’t want it. Carlos, stop it!.” The younger one said all shocked, while he watched his feet floating over the ice. “Don’t worry, little one. You are safe. I’m holding you.” The Spaniard moved backwards over the ice with him and Lando really asked himself how he could do that when he couldn’t even move one meter forward with these on.

“Oh god. Not that fast!” The Brit whimpered with pressed close eyes, which made Carlos laugh once more. “You are a damn Formula one racer and this is too fast for your liking?” Lando had his eyes still closed, when he answered loudly “Yes! Ahhh…”

They went on like that for the next minutes, till the older one suggested to let go from at least one of his hands for just some seconds, seeing what will happen. Even when Lando already exactly knew what will happen. He was pretty sure about his team-mate being able to handle it. Somehow he had even talked him into it, when the younger one carefully let go of his left hand.

With really only one hand Lando was scatting and maybe Carlos got a little too excited about it, when he began to move and brought his friend out of balance with that. The next thing the smaller one could remember was that he was sitting on the cold ice and about that his butt was hurting.

The Spaniard looked down at his friend, watching him rub his butt, while his expression was in pain. It had happened faster than Carlos was able to react. Quickly he got down to his friend and asked if he was alright. “Yeah, I’m great, thanks. Damn, I have told you I’m not good at it. I hate it, I always have and I always will. My butt hurts, I’m feeling damn cold and everyone looks at me like I’m a complete idiot.”

“Let me help you up.” Carlos felt bad for his friend. Yes, Lando had told him more than once, that he didn’t want to go ice skating, but the Spaniard hadn’t listened to him, he had only thought about himself. They should have done something they both liked, not only one.

Lando was worried about his friend being now sad or even angry about his words, when he saw his expression. He was also afraid about Carlos leaving him right where he was standing in the middle of the ice, so he had to crawl back to the exit on all fourth. But the Spaniard stayed where he was, only held him firmer than before, while he whipped off the snow from his friend’s jeans.

“I’m sorry, little one. It was a stupid idea. Let us go back and do something different.” Carlos said with a small voice, he really meant it. Lando felt bad instantly for his stupid behaviour. He was stubborn like a little child, because something didn’t work out the way he wanted it. He really needed to stop acting like that.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. If you want, you can ice skate on your own. I will be over there watching you and drinking some hot tea. It’s okay.” The younger one told him, while he did kind of avoid his eyes, still feeling stupid for what he had said before.

“No, without you it won’t make any fun.” The Spaniard told him truthfully to which Lando only snored and answered with a smile on his lips “Yeah, because no one else would fall on his ass then and you wouldn’t have anything to laugh at.” Even when he really tried to hold it back, in the end Carlos smiled and giggled with his friend together.

Lando had always wanted to spend time with his team-mate and even when they really weren’t all alone here, it was still kind of just the two of them. And the Spaniard was holding him the whole time long, so what did he want more? If he had to fall on his butt a few times to be able to spend time with him together, then he will do it god-damn.

“C’mon, let us go on with your practice. Maybe by the end of the day I’m able to stand still all on my own for three seconds.” The younger one said with a smile on his lips, while he still held himself onto his friend’s arms.

“You sure?” Carlos asked unsure, before Lando nodded agreeing his head. “Alright, but before I need to give you something.” All confused the smaller one looked at his friend, asking himself what he wanted to give him right now, but he stopped thinking about it to only focus on getting to the wall on the border.

Like before he did hold himself onto it with both hands, while he watched the Spaniard pulling at his own scarf. The warm material he did finally wrap tightly around Lando’s neck, who was eyeing him even more confused now. “What are you doing?”

“You said you are feeling cold. No wonder, you don’t even wear a scarf. So, better?” With big eyes Lando looked down at the scarf, taking in his team-mate’s scent and also hints of his perfume deep inside his lungs. God, why did Carlos always have to be that sweet to him?

“We will see.” Lando said with a smirk, before the older one added “But we also have to keep moving to get you warm.” With that he took his friend’s hands once more and leaded him into the middle of the ice again.

The Spaniard showed him how he had to move his feet, he also told him to get more into his knees. He didn’t have to be afraid about falling, because he was holding him so tight and won’t let it happen once more. Carlos was telling the truth, he was really holding Lando’s hands way tighter than before.

When the young racer felt secure enough, the Spaniard placed his palms by his hips to steady him, while Lando still hold onto himself by his friend’s upper arms. While they were moving like that over the ice, Carlos’ hands on his body, being so close to each other and giggling the whole time long, Lando began to feel warm, so warm.

Only then he could start to enjoy this all here and only then he noticed that it had got already dark, it was slowly snowing thick snowflakes down the dark sky, while in the background was playing ‘Last Christmas’. God, it was such a cliché, almost mawkish. But Lando had to admit that he really like it.

At one point Carlos moved behind him, his hands still on his hip, he was pushing him forward from behind now. Lando felt still insecure, but somehow he managed it, while he gripped back to hold himself onto his friend’s tights. In the end he felt even secure enough to only hold one of his friend’s hands any more and together they were skating over the ice like that.

The young Brit was pretty proud about himself, even when it had taken ages and he probably still looked like a dork. But they really had a lot of fun, even when first it really hadn’t looked like that. After the two team-mates had left the ice, they got themselves some hot tea, still giggling happily.

When they made their way to Carlos’ car, Lando began to shiver again, feeling damn cold after the warmth of the tea had left his body and not feeling his friend so close to himself any more.

Of course, the Spaniard noticed him shaking, placed his right arm over his tiny shoulders and pressed him into his side. “How can you be always that cold, little one?” He asked teasingly, while he smiled down at him and rubbed his palm up and down his upper arm.

Like yesterday the two of them did spend the evening at Carlos’ place. He offered him some warm milk, after they had got out of their jackets. “Oh god, no. Warm milk is the most disgusting thing ever.” Lando had answered to his friend’s surprise.

“Well, what would you like to drink instead to get warm? Some tea again?” The Spaniard asked, while he already disappeared into his kitchen, Lando followed him. “Do you have hot chocolate?”

“I have thought you don’t like warm milk?” Carlos looked confused over his shoulder back to him. “Yeah, but it’s with chocolate. That mixture is alright.” The older one began to laugh then, shook his head in unbelief, but still made his little friend some hot chocolate, which he drank urgently when they took place in front of the TV in his living room.

They played FIFA for the next hours, Lando didn’t even know how late it had already become, but he was already a little tired and jawed from time to time. When the next match was over, Carlos had won the fifth time in raw, and the younger one jawed once more, the Spaniard said “I think I should better get you little baby to your hotel now.”

Lando was surprised about that. Yeah, he felt already a little sleepy, but he sure didn’t want to leave his friend already right now. He didn’t want to leave him for tonight anyway. But still he nodded his head in agreement, because it wasn’t on him to decide to stay or not.

It was still Carlos’ place, it was already nice enough from him to invite him, spend time with him and play his taxi. Maybe he had plans for tonight, wanted to go out or maybe he even had a date. But the thought about getting to his empty and cold hotel room gave Lando chills. He really didn’t want to leave his friend’s side, but he couldn’t change it.

The two of them took on their thick jackets, Lando had refused to take Carlos’ scarf, so the Spaniard had wrapped it over his neck, while Lando pulled his hat over his heat. His friend had already opened the front door and groped noisily at his keys, when the young Brit felt frozen suddenly.

He couldn’t make one step forward, he stayed right where he was in his friend’s floor and looked up at him with wide eyes. “Lando?” Carlos asked over his shoulder back to him. “What’s wrong?” But like his body, also his lips were also frozen, he couldn’t bring them back to life, but even if, he wouldn’t have known what to say.

“Are you okay? Do you feel ill?” The older one asked worriedly, while he stepped closer to him. Lando knew he must look pretty stupid, while he looked like that up at his friend, his mouth half opened but no words left his lips. Finally, he was at least able to node his head.

“What’s wrong then, little one? Tell me.” Carlos asked once again, a smile and a frown in his face at the same time. “I.. I.. I..” More Lando didn’t manage to bring over his lips, he even started to stammer.

The oxygen was pressed out of his lungs and he was speechless once more, when he could feel his friend’s hands framing his face. “Easy, little one. It’s okay. Just breathe in and out once more and then tell me what you want.”

Him. The voice was screaming inside the young Brit’s head. He wanted him, but he knew he couldn’t have him. But was he maybe able to have him at least close for the night? Was he allowed to ask this question or would they cross a line with that?

“Can I..” Lando started from new, still all nervous and afraid about his answer. “Can I stay for the night?” Carlos was still holding his face between his hands, when his lips slowly formed a warm smile. “Sure you can, little one.” With that the older one gripped for his team-mate’s hat and pulled it off his head again, leaving his curls in a wild mess.

Carlos patted his head before he closed the front door and got out of his jacket again. Only slowly Lando started to what had just happened. Also he was finally able to smile again, being so thankful to have such an understanding friend. After they were out of their jackets again, Carlos suggested if they wanted to watch a movie. They picked a random one and made themselves comfortable on his couch.

First with a good distance between the two of them, but slowly their bodies were searching for each other and in the end the Spaniard smiled over to him, stretched out welcoming his right arm and whispered “Come here, little one.”

Quickly Lando closed the distance between the two of them, when he crawled closer and cuddled himself satisfied into his side. It didn’t last long, till the young Brit fell asleep in his friend’s arms. Carlos was holding him close with both of his arms the whole time, stroking with his thumbs over his soft skin, while he placed kisses on top of his head.

When the movie was finally over and Lando had slipped down almost the whole way to his lab, the older one turned off the TV and carried his younger friend over into his bedroom. Carlos already exactly knew the state Lando was when he was tired, so he just carried him like the baby he was for him into his bed.

The cuddling didn’t stop then, after he had somehow got him out of his clothes and placed under the bedsheets. The taller one couldn’t describe with words how grateful he was for the little one and how thankful he was for the day they had spent together and now even to be able to fall asleep next to each other. He also thought about their kiss or whatever that was from a few days ago.

Carlos knew it was an accident, not his friend’s intention, but still it had made him feel so good. Even when it was just the corner of his mouth and his lips had only so lightly brushed over his, it was still amazing. Something he would really like to repeat, but at the same time he knew they won’t.

When Lando began to move next to him, the Spaniard then pulled him even closer, so he won’t start to worry or even get scared about where he was like yesterday. Finally, the young Brit ended up with rolling himself onto his team-mate. Most of his body was settled between his legs, while he had wrapped his arms around his belly, like he wanted to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Falling asleep like that was more than just perfect and waking up the next morning almost even better. They had woken up at the same time, Lando a little embarrassed about having half of his body lying on top of friend’s. But it was alright the way their legs were tangled into each other and how tight the smaller one had wrapped his left arm around Carlos’ belly.

Best the two of them would have liked to spend the whole morning like that, but they had to get to their factory once more, it was office day. They cuddled for some more minutes under the warm bed sheets, promising themselves to wake up one morning and be able to cuddle as long as they will want without the need to go anywhere.

While Carlos had made himself ready to leave, Lando drank the hot chocolate he had made for him and waited all patient in the living room. Like yesterday the Spaniard waited inside his car, while the smaller one made himself ready as well at his hotel room. They went for breakfast once more, before they headed to the McLaren factory. The two of them spend the whole morning there and it was also the time for Lando then to take his lost bet with Carlos, when the older one coloured his locks pink with some kind of spray.

Like always the two of them had a lot of fun and in the early afternoon the Spaniard brought Lando back to his hotel, because he would leave in about an hour. The younger one thanked his friend for the great time they had the last two days and when he also thanked him for letting him sleep at his place, the young Brit’s cheeks began to heat up a little.

Carlos pulled him into a hug then, telling him while doing so how much he had also enjoyed their time together, before he ruffled through his locks, his cheeks still had the same pink colour like his hair. “See you in Abu Dhabi, little one. Stay safe.”

“You too, see you there. By, Chilli. And thank you once more.” Lando answered while he climbed out of his friend’s car. He even waved at him, while Carlos got out of the parking lot and slowly drove away, also waving at him.

Lando thought that he was able to get through the next days, till he was able to see his team-mate again. So he got into his hotel to pack his stuff with a big, happy heart and pink curls. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you like this one?  
I'm totally Lando at ice skating by the way - I hate it and I can't even stand on the ice without falling..  
However, I just wanted them to have a good time together. To make their feelings for each other even more confused :D
> 
> But be warned for the next chapter - it's finally getting serious ;)


	13. Chapter 13

The next days went by faster than Lando had first expected. And suddenly he found himself already in Abu Dhabi. But didn’t matter how many days have passed, if it was only one day or over one week, the young Brit was always happy to see his team-mate again and the smile on Carlos’ lips just told him the same.

Like always the two of them had their fun, spent some time together, while enjoying the warm weather and the upcoming last race of the season. Till now Lando didn’t know how he had made it, but somehow he won the intern qualification duel between the Spaniard and himself.

In his eyes Carlos should have won it, because in contrast to himself he could handle these qualifications so much better than him, he deserved it more. But even when the older one wasn’t on the position he had wished himself for the last race and so also for the last points, he was still happy for his friend to have won their duel.

“Congrats, little one, for beating me and winning so the duel.” Carlos said with still a smile on his face, he really meant it. Lando rolled his eyes in response, before he answered “C’mon, it wasn’t a real duel anyway.”

“Sure it was and you have won it. You deserve it.” The Spaniard told him all honestly, before he placed his hands on his upper arms and made him so looking up at him, before he added with a soft voice and a warm smile “Every win is one step closer to your big dream, even when this step still seems so little and unimportant for you at the moment. But it still helps you to get closer to the podium. You just have to learn to not be that nervous all the time, you really don’t have a reason to feel this way any more. Believe me, your time will come, little man. You and me, we will both be on the very top one day, don’t worry about that. It’s just a matter of time any more.”

Lando could feel Carlos squeezing his shoulders lightly, while goose bumps broke free over his whole body under his friend’s touches and gaze. Finally, the young Brit couldn’t hold back his own smile any more and nodded his head understanding. Maybe Carlos was right.

A few hours later Lando was already done with his interviews for today, while Carlos still gave an interview to a Spanish television, while the young racer was already in his own hotel room and tried to pass the time, till his team-mate was finally finished and will come to him to play some FIFA and then fall asleep curled up together in his bed.

They only had this night and tomorrow night after the big party left. So the young Brit wanted to enjoy every second of it, before he won’t see his friend during the off season so much any more. Lando was sad about the fact that the season was over after this race, but he was even sadder and also a little scared about it being the last weekend for the next few months, where he could sleep next to his beloved team-mate.

Lando was annoyed about the damn interview to need so long, but he also knew Carlos won’t come here in the next hour, because after, the Spaniard also had another press conference. So the young man ended up on top of his bed and he just wanted to check his Instagram feed, when he felt something laying uncomfortable under his back.

He had some trouble to get the cloth away and just when Lando had wanted to throw the sweater on the floor, he got it that it was Carlos’ team sweater. He had obviously forgotten it this morning, before he had slipped out of his room to get to his own, like they hadn’t spent the night together.

Even when the two team-mates did have the same sweater from their team, Lando still knew it was his friend’s one. Not only because it was one size bigger than his own, but also because it did smell so much like Carlos. And without even thinking about what he was doing, he pulled the material against his nose and sniffed his scent deep inside his lungs.

Lando’s eyes did roll back into his head, when he filled his lungs with Carlos’ unique, perfect and already so familiar scent. Still overwhelmed, the young Brit let himself slide down the back of his bed, while he did cuddle the sweater even closer to his body. How damn good the older one did smell. Maybe Lando should keep that cloth for the next months, always sniffing at it when he felt lonely during the nights, when he did miss Carlos the most.

His scent even caused Lando to hear his friend’s voice with that sexy accent in his ear, calling him all the names he used to call him. Carlos was the only one, who was allowed to call him little one, baby or kid, because the Brit exactly knew his team-mate didn’t mean it in a teasing kind of way like all the other. He still didn’t know why the other drivers were doing this. First it was also funny for him, but with time he got very annoyed and sometimes even angry about it.

Yes, he did know himself about looking very young, not like someone else in his age, but still. He was racing in Formula One, he was a racer like every other driver here. Didn’t matter how old he was or how young he looked.

He also had to train very hard for his big dream. His car wasn’t driving any slower or on his own, because he was younger. No, he was driving with the same speed next to them, in one eye level. Back then Max was even younger than Lando himself now, when he had won his first race. And no one had ever made fun of him about that.

But it contrast to all the other, Lando liked it when Carlos called him so. He wasn’t teasing, because it did sound lovely and showed him that he meant something to his team-mate.

Carlos’ scent did cause the younger one to feel safe, loved, protected, comforted and since the last weeks also heated. Lando didn’t exactly know any more since when he had added the last feeling to his long list, what Carlos did make to him and especially to his body.

Over the last weeks, when not even months, Lando had tried to show nothing from his true feelings in front of Carlos. But even when he had to keep it all to himself, it still didn’t stop him from imagine the older ones body, while he still held his sweater against his nose. His thoughts somehow started to drift off, like he was getting dizzy, even high from Carlos’ scent.

Lando was thinking about one of the many interviews they had already given together over the year. He thought about that one a lot, now especially about how embarrassing it was with so many private questions.

As stupid as Lando was, he had answered to the question in which clothes he prefers it to sleep in, that it sometimes happens, that he fell asleep with his boxers on, but during the night he somehow stripped out of them and woke up in the morning all naked.

After the interview, Carlos had teased him about it. Why this hadn’t already happened? They had spent almost every night they could together, but till now something like this hadn’t happened or did he just wanted to be funny again? Lando didn’t have an answer to these questions. Just thinking about it, stripping out of his clothes during the night, so he would lay all naked next to his friend in the morning, made Lando all uncomfortable but the same time also very hot.

How would Carlos react to it? What would he say or even do? Would he mind? Would he join him, so he won’t feel that lonely and stupid any more? Would he laugh at him? Would he be shocked and storm out of the room?

The interviewer had also asked them about what they did like the most about each other. When Carlos said he adored his younger team-mate’s smile, Lando began to blush badly and something deep inside his belly began to tingle.

When it was his turn he didn’t know what to say, because there were way too many attributes he admired about his friend. To pick out only one was unfair and seemed almost impossible for him. But Lando finally went for his eyes.

His dark chocolate coloured eyes and the way they did sparkle and warm up Lando’s heart, whenever Carlos was looking down at him, when he was laying in his arms and he smiled at him so lovely. His dark lashes did frame his beautiful eyes in just the perfect way and made him look even more handsome.

Lando then thought about Carlos’ always perfect looking hair. It did always look so stunning, even without his trying. The way the dark strains stick against his sweated forehead, when they were at the gym together. The fluffy, but still handsome way it looked in the morning. Even after he had worn a helmet for hours, his hair still looks all perfect and hot.

About his smooth beard, showing Lando how much of a man the Spaniard already was and how less he still was. Even when Carlos was still his age he was already more manly, than he won’t ever become. The Spaniard had such great genes, it was almost unfair.

Compared to Lando himself, Carlos was almost a god. So unbelievable handsome, very kind to everyone, confident, professional and so smart. Just pure perfection in his eyes and so unreachable for him.

The way his friend’s perfect formed lips did move, when he said his name with that sexy Spanish accent. It did sound like music in the younger ones ears and made his body shiver every time. Lando loved it to be able to make his team-mate smile that bright, perfect smile. To make him laugh. Sometimes he imagined these smiles he was only giving to him and no one else. It was only for him.

Since they had decided to spend every night they could together, the young Brit had seen his older team-mate just with his boxers on so many times. His trained body was mostly covered with dark, curled body hair and Lando couldn’t say with words how much he liked that view and how bad his mouth waters every time he eyed him from head to toe inconspicuous. He wanted to touch him so badly. To really touch him, not like the many times he already had while sharing one bed together.

Also Carlo’s tanned, smooth skin did things to him and just thinking about if the skin under his boxers did look the same delicious way and if his pubic hair was also that dark and curled like the body hair on his inner tights, made him already half hard inside his own pants.

Lando liked it so much to feel his body, his skin, his muscles against himself, while they were sleeping next to each other. He remembered about liking that feeling since the beginning. He enjoyed it to get touched by him.

Didn’t matter if it was just a light, quick touch in public, when Carlos laid his arm over his shoulders, petted his head or when they did play fighting, after Lando had probably teased him a little too much. He took every touch of his friend he could become with pleasure.

“Why are you always so cheeky, you tiny dork? You are way too cheeky for your age and also for your size.” Carlos asked him playfully, while he already tickled his sides after Lando had teased him once more a little too much. The younger one himself exactly knew it why he did tease him so often. He was longing for his touches, no matter which, just touches from him and he knew how to get them. He just need to tease him long enough.

And when Lando went to the ground, because he couldn’t hold himself upright any more, the older one held his arms so he couldn’t fight back any more, which he was already unable to do so after laughing so much anyway.

The Spaniard was with his muscular body over his teenager’s one and held him in place, knowing that he was so much stronger than his younger team-mate. But still Carlos did let Lando fight sometimes back, but it always ended up with the young Brit laying under him, tears running down his cheeks because he had laughed already so much and begging him to stop.

They ended up more than once on the hotel room floor, they even fell down from the bed once and they sometimes did also play fighting, when Lando got too cheeky in public. The younger one liked their plays, even when first he didn’t know why he was getting slowly hard, while Carlos leaned with his perfect trained body over his and looked down at him with those sexy eyes of him.

One time Lando hit the thought that it must look like that, when the Spaniard would be on top of him. Just the thought about it made Lando drool and his heart began to race. He asked himself what kind of sounds Carlos made while he was having sex or when he did masturbate. It probably sounds like music, it would at least sound like music in the young Brit’s ears.

The way the Spaniard’s trained muscles would dance, while he would be on top, giving Lando everything he had ever dreamed about. How the young man would like to hold himself onto his dark hair and broad shoulders, whispering his name over and over again.

How it must feel to have the Spaniard’s warm hands all over his skin? How kisses have to feel from his soft lips? How much his body would tingle, while getting his friend’s whole attention? What it would made to Lando’s body, if he would look down at him with his pretty eyes, telling him with his look that he also liked what he saw, maybe even thinking about that the young man under him was beautiful too.

Lando’s whole body began to shiver then and goose bumps broke free, just thinking about it. Only the thought about Carlos called him so made the younger one all warm and touched. How bad he wished for that. It would have been the best compliment ever, to hear that coming from his friend’s lips. It would feel so good.

Lando knew Carlos would be all gentle with him. He would never hurt him, the young racer did trust him with his life. The Brit would let him do whatever he wanted, then in contrast to himself, the Spaniard did know what felt good and what he was doing.

Sure, Lando had watched some gay pornos in the last time, but still he didn’t exactly know how it was working. How sex at all was working, no matter with which gender. He would be lost, but he would also feel safe and understood in Carlos’ arms. He would, he exactly knew it.

As much as Lando liked it to watch these pornos and always think about the hot Spaniard while doing, the longing afterwards to be able to snuggle with Carlos was always stronger. How much he would give to be able to cuddle himself closer to his friend’s warm body afterwards, while his post-orgasm was still running through his body. How bad he wanted Carlos to pull him closer, when he starts to freeze and get all sensitive. He wanted to hear him whisper something in Spanish into his ear, causing him so to shiver badly, but in a good kind of way.

Oh, how much Lando wished to have sex with his friend, even when at the same time he knew it won’t ever happen. It shouldn’t happen. He couldn’t risk that. Carlos just meant too much to him to risk their friendship. He needed him. In more ways than the older one even knew. Carlos brought out the best of Lando, even without his knowing.

Furthermore, the young Brit was pretty sure about his friend not having the same thoughts nor feelings for him, like Lando had for him. Carlos wasn’t gay. Sure, they had never talked about this topic before and even when the Spaniard hadn’t a girlfriend since they had got to know each other, the younger one still knew what an effect his friend had on women.

They all loved him, his charm and his body. Carlos was perfect boyfriend material. Every woman would be glad to call him her boyfriend or even better her husband. Lando knew what he was talking about, because Carlos had also the same effect on him. The Spaniard was able to have every woman he wanted, he could get them all.

Lando exactly knew, that his friend would rather choose a sexy model, instead of him, the young, cheeky boy with these stupid teenager hormones. He was a disaster on legs, with bad skin and an always broken phone. And maybe these damn hormones were the decisive factor why he had these feelings for his team-mate. And hopefully they will be gone soon again.

Because Lando knew it won’t ever happen. But it was okay. Even when there would have been a chance, he still wouldn’t have the strength to tell or show Carlos his real feelings for him. It was totally alright the way it was. He was okay with being only his team-mate and friend, even when that was already more than he had ever dared to dream about. As long as he could spend the nights with him together and get some attention and cuddles, he was more than just okay with it.

But still it didn’t stop Lando to daydream his hand wrapped around his erection and slowly stroking him up and down, while his fingers were playing with his full balls, Carlos’ scent still inside his nose and also deep inside his lungs.

Only then Lando got it, that he had pulled down his sweatpants at one point without even noticing it and was stroking himself the way he imagined it Carlos to do so. For one second he had really thought it to be him, but then he got it that it was only his own hand once again. But still the young man rocked his hips to the rhythm he did give himself with his fast strokes.

He was already so close, it probably would have needed only a few more strokes from his own hand and one more picture from Carlos’ perfect body in front of his inner eyes and he would have come, but then he could suddenly hear someone knocking at his hotel room door.

“Lando? C’mon, what are you doing inside there? Let me in.” It was Carlos’ voice and even when Lando had dreamed about his hot Spanish accent just seconds before, he was still shocked to his bones about it right now. He had totally forgotten about the time and he could be more than just lucky for not giving Carlos his key cart.

“Just give me one second.” He said hesitantly back through the still closed door, trying to calm down his nerves. He still had his sweatpants down his ass, when he got on his feet. What should he do now? He knew his erection won’t go anywhere anytime soon and hearing the Spaniard’s voice he adored so much didn’t make it any easier.

Quickly Lando pulled his sweatpants and boxers back up, he did jump up and down thinking about the most unattractive thing he could imagine at the moment. He already wanted to open the door for his team-mate, when he saw the mess on the bed he had left behind and also Carlos’ sweater laying on top of the pillows.

The young Brit did hide the cloth under the sheets and while he tried to make his bed as fast as he could, he was happy for not already come yet. How should he have get away this mess so quickly? He did move his fingers through his curly hair, before he finally opened the door with reddened cheeks and a still half hard dick inside his pants.

Thankfully Carlos didn’t give much attention to his younger team-mate, when he instantly entered the room, while saying “Well, finally.” Nervously Lando closed the door behind his friend, he was never so unhappy to see him like right now. It was the worst moment ever for him.

He did try to cover his erection, but he could only feel it grow while touching it so lightly, while he watched his team-mate taking his new bought game into the Play Station in the corner of the room. Hearing his voice and inhaling his scent didn’t help either. “You will like this one, at least Max told me you would.” With still widened eyes the younger one did follow his moves and his heart did stop to beat, when their eyes suddenly met and Carlos held their connection.

“What’s wrong? Why do you look at me like that?” He asked with a smile, sounding curious but at the same time also worried. Lando kept quiet, just stared back at him, wishing for a hole where he could jump inside. “Do you feel ill, little one?” Now the Spaniard was really concerned about his younger team-mate and just wanted to get closer to him, when Lando jumped back and made him so stop with it.

The younger one hated to see his friend all concerned like that, especially when it really wasn’t the case. So he shook his head and answered with a small voice “I’m good. Don’t worry.” The older one eyed him sceptical for some more moments, before he gave his attention back to the Play Station, starting the game.

The Brit was damn relieved about taking the attention away from him, but his heart stopped to beat once more, when Carlos suddenly asked teasingly “What were you doing that took you so long to open the door for me? Were you jerking off?”

It should have been only a joke, but a joke that caught Lando’s breathe and he could only stare with widened eyes and hot, embarrassed cheeks back at his friend. After seconds of silence Carlos did finally look back at him and when he got it, that he was right with his guess, he was first as speechless as his friend.

Both looked at each other, Lando could feel how his whole head got damn red so embarrassed he was and he could also feel how his erection did grow and grow when Carlos’ gaze got to his middle and he knew the older one could see the bulge through his sweatpants. But still the younger one wasn’t able to move, he could just stare at his team-mate in shock. That was the worst moment in his whole life.

“Oh, wow. I haven’t thought to really hit the mark with that. I’m sorry.” Carlos said with a smile on his lips, moving his hand to the back of his head, while he still kept on eyeing his erection nervously. He didn’t sound teasing, but only looked away again, when the young racer began to move uncomfortable under his gaze. Lando kept quiet, still unable to just say one word, so the older one asked instead carefully. “I hope you could finish at least?”

With an opened mouth but still not able to form any words, Lando did stare back at him, but Carlos got it anyway. “Oh, fuck. Sorry mate.” This time a small laugher did escape his lips, before he went on. “Next time you should shout at me to get the fuck away. Or do you want me to go and come back later again, so you can.. finish?”

Lando knew he only meant it good, but it didn’t make the situation any easier for him. Finally, his whole body got back to life, when he did shake his head slowly and said with a small, still to his bones ashamed voice “No. It’s okay. You can stay. Just.. give me some seconds.”

Carlos did node his head, before he said with a smile on his lips “Alright. It would have probably needed too long for you to get into mood again anyway, after seeing me.” Oh, his team-mate had no clue how wrong he actually was. Lando was so hard and ready to come like never before in his life, standing in front of the man of his wet dreams.

With that Carlos did turn around again, sat down on the chair in front of him and took the controller into his hands like nothing had happened. He had probably expected Lando to go to the bathroom to calm down again, but his younger friend was still unable to move, so he finally said “C’mon then. Take a seat. I really want to know if I can beat you in that game as easy as in FIFA.” Only hesitantly Lando finally began to move again and lowered himself with still a damn red face on the second chair, thankful for a big distance between him and Carlos.

He was very glad for the older one to act this way, to not make a big deal of it, but it still didn’t solve the problem between his legs. His erection did already hurt pretty much and he could feel the pre-cum running out of his dick’s head while just looking at Carlos. Lando did move a little, till he felt comfortable enough on the chair and he had his erection more or less under control.

When the Spaniard handled him the second controller, the smaller one was still all embarrassed and did avoid his eyes. “Don’t feel so ashamed about it. It’s natural, even healthy. Everyone does it. I also did it this morning under the shower. So c’mon, capron.”

Imagine Carlos all wet under the hot water streams of the shower jerking himself off, didn’t really help Lando with the problem between his legs, in contrast. But still he took the offered controller and showed his friend a thankful smile for his understanding and not teasing him about it.

Maybe that was why Carlos also let him win the first three rounds of the new game, because the next seven the Spaniard did always win easily. Lando had calmed down completely in the meantime. The two of them were acting and fooling around like always, like nothing had happened.

But when it was time to go to bed, the young Brit still got a little uncomfortable again, even when he didn’t know why. Carlos instead did act like always. After brushing his teeth, washing his face and getting out of most of his clothes, just his boxers and a sleeping shirt were left on his perfect trained body any more, he had just pulled the sheets on top of the bed away, when he found his missing sweater.

“Here it is.” The Spaniard said more to himself, than to Lando, before he threw the cloth careless on the floor and slipped inside the warm material of the blanket. The younger one bit down on his lip, thinking about it what he had done with his sweater just hours ago and if his team-mate was able to count one and one together.

But the Spaniard didn’t question it, he just made himself comfortable, turned on the TV in the corner and scrolled through his Instagram feed, while he waited for Lando to join him. The older one showed his friend some videos he had found, while the Brit’s eyes got heavier and heavier with every new video.

But he held himself back, feeling still stupid about what had happened before, so he didn’t touch his friend or laid himself closer than necessary next to him. Maybe Carlos had noticed so, but when he pulled his phone away he really didn’t give consideration about that.

He just wrapped his arm around his already half asleep body and pulled him closer, till Lando’s cheek pressed against his chest. First the younger one was stiff between his arms, but quickly he began to relax, while he listened to his heart beat and let out noises of comfort. How much he loved this time of the day.

“Do you mind if I watch the movie till the end?” Carlos asked softly, while he still held him with his arms against his body, even when Lando held himself onto him by his shirt as well. Already very tired the young racer just shook his head, being more than just happy with the way he will fall asleep soon.

“Alright. Then sleep well, little one. Sweet dreams.” The Spaniard whispered into his curls, before he kissed softly his forehead. Lando wasn’t able to speak any more, so he just cuddled even closer against his team-mate in response. Before he fell finally asleep, he could feel how Carlos did reach for the remote control behind his back to turn the sound of the Television lower, so his younger friend could sleep better.

Over his head the older one did watch the movie, while Lando could feel his breath against his hair and his hands stroking calmly his back. Shortly before he really entered the land of dreams, he did feel his friend’s hands move behind his back again. Just like Carlos was making a selfie of himself and his sleeping team-mate in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay - it didn't become that serious like I have promised, but this was just a little foretaste for the next chapter ;)
> 
> I know it is probably not what you have expected, but I still hope you have enjoyed all embarrassed Lando and this whole awkward situation - poor thing, but I just had to. But at least Carlos was understanding ;)
> 
> Soon we will also learn about what Carlos thinks, get to know his thoughts too.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so curious about what you will say after reading this..

Lando didn’t only have sweet dreams, like Carlos had wished him, he overall had damn wet dreams. And of course, the main character of his dream was the good-looking Spaniard.

The young Brit was laying on his belly in his dream. His stone hard cock he did press hard into the mattress underneath him to get some friction and relief, while he moved back and forth all heated and excited. He could feel Carlos’ smooth lips and warm fingertips on his bare back, his shoulder blades and his neck, leaving a wet, hot road behind, where his warm mouth and gently fingers had touched his skin.

Suddenly the whole pleasure was gone and Lando searched urgently for his friend’s near. He got on his side and rubbed closer to where Carlos was laying. The man supported his head on his hand, while he eyed him with those from desire darkened eyes. The older one was almost naked. His chest was bare, he was only wearing his boxers and just thinking about what this thin material did hide from his eyes, made his mouth water so badly.

Lando wanted the Spaniard’s whole attention, that was why he began to whimper and crawled even closer against his warm body. Carlos began to smile to himself, before he moved with his fingers through his messy curls and let his friend press his erection into his trained tight.

The young racer was surprised himself, when he heard the noises coming from his own lips. He did moan from deep inside his throat, when the friction got that satisfied. He rubbed himself up and down his friend’s tight, feeling how the pre-cum ran out of the head of his dick, soaked the thin material of his own boxers and finally marked Carlos skin with the thick liquid.

Without even wanting it Lando began to moan his name, over and over again. He could feel the older one smile against his head, he exactly knew what he was doing with his body to him and that it didn’t need anything more than letting him press his erection against his leg to get all crazy.

The next time the young Brit opened his eyes again, he found himself laying all breathless and already totally sweated on his back and the view he got was more than just beautiful. Carlos did lean himself over him and looked down at his friend with his even darker looking eyes than usual. They had turned from cinnamon eyes into dark chocolate ones. Lando knew he was him delivered, because the Spaniard was so much stronger than him, but how damn bad this all actually turned him on.

The younger one knew, that now it was time. That now it will happen. Carlos will finally deflower him. His whole body was trembling in excitement and maybe also because he was so nervous and also a little scared, but he did trust his friend. Lando knew he won’t ever hurt him. He will be gently.

And then Carlos did slowly lean down to him, closer and closer with his lips to Lando’s own. He stopped breathing, looking with big eyes right into the dark ones of his friend, when their noses brushed lightly together.

Carlos didn’t close his eyes, when he went on. He wanted to see Lando’s reaction when he will get kissed for the very first time. And shortly before the Brit thought he would faint because of his nervousness and excitement, the Spaniard’s soft lips finally touched his warm ones.

Like Lando had expected it, did start Carlos all gently and very slow. First their lips only touched each other mildly, did float over the sensitive skin all carefully. They both had formed just a small, unsure kiss mouth. But then the older one began to press his mouth deeper and with more pressure against Lando’s, letting him get a taste of him.

Carlos did taste as delicious as he did smell. It caused such a familiar and warm feeling deep inside his belly that the young Brit began to smile against his friend’s lips. Carlos still eyed him carefully, while Lando let himself get kissed, still very unsure what he should do or if he should do anything at all.

Everything felt so perfect, so incredible good. Carlos’ eyes looking deep into his own, half of his body leaned over himself, his so soft lips touching his, his beautiful scent deep inside his lungs. Everything was so perfect, almost too perfect. And everything did feel so real. Too real, Lando had to admit. Way too real for a dream. Something was wrong.

He could still feel Carlos’ lips on his and also his eyes on him, when Lando suddenly opened his from sleep still closed eyelids and finally got it, that this part wasn’t only a dream. The Spaniard did still press his lips gently against his younger team-mate’s stiff mouth. But his eyes did look different than in his dreams. The older one seemed to be concerned.

When their eyes met and so Carlos got it that Lando had finally woken up from his dream, he slowly began to pull back from his body. Lando did miss his touch in the second their lips got separated and even when he whimpered by the lost, Carlos didn’t come back again. Instead, he eyed him still all worried, not exactly knowing what had just happened.

“You were whispering my name. I didn’t know what I should do any more to wake you up.” Carlos tried to explain, his body still half leaned over Lando’s. So not everything was a dream and even when the younger one didn’t know what he had not only done in his dream, but also done in real life, his cheeks still heated up badly.

Lando kept on staring quietly back at him. His mouth was opened a split, his eyes wide and he did eye the Spaniard quickly to finally get it what had just happened and what this all meant. Carlos began to smile and the younger one didn’t know if that was good or bad.

“It probably wasn’t such a good idea to not end it.” His smirk grew wider, obviously meaning that Lando should have better jerked off like he had told him a few hours ago, so he maybe wouldn’t have had such a wet dream.

The young Brit still kept laying still and just looked up at his older friend with big eyes. Till the smile on Carlos lips did slowly fade away, when his eyes landed by his middle. The older one licked heated over his lips, while studying his bulge, like he did like what he saw. “It must have been a pretty... good dream.” It was a statement, not a question, because the answer he found by the wet spot on the fabric of Lando’s boxers. His pre-cum was everywhere inside his boxers and also slick against his own skin.

But even when Carlos had already got his answer, Lando still whispered with a wild racing heart “You. The dream was about you.” Shocked about that he had just said that out loud, the young racer watched his friend with big eyes, unable to say anything any more.

Carlos also looked even more shocked now, but there was also some kind of softness in his look and eyes. It was already quiet since seconds, the first uncomfortable silence since they had got to know each other.

It was Carlos, who ended these endless seeming moments of silence, when he had finally found his strength again and he whispered carefully “Do you want me to kiss you again?” He looked so loveable. Even when it wouldn’t have been Lando’s biggest wish to get kissed by Carlos, he still wouldn’t have been able to say no to these beautiful eyes right in front of him. But it actually was Lando’s biggest wish, his biggest dream.

Suddenly his body finally got back to life, when he nodded urgently his head, almost too urgently. But yeah, it was what he wanted so badly. The connection between their eyes took Carlos slowly closer to his friend again, till their lips finally pressed against each other again. Their eyes stayed open for some seconds, making sure this really happened at the moment and they both weren’t just dreaming. But then both of their eyelids slowly flattered shut and they gave in to that breath-taking feeling.

Their second kiss was as soft and gently as their first and this time the young Brit even tried to give his friend something back, when he formed a shy kiss mouth and pressed his lips carefully against the Spaniard’s once.

God, could Carlos kiss. Even when it was his second kiss in his whole life, Lando knew that already now. But of course he wasn’t surprised about it. With such full and soft lips like the Spaniard’s ones you just have to kiss like a god.

When breathing became a problem and they needed to pull away, even when they both didn’t want to do so, Carlos reached over Lando’s small body for the remote control to turn off the Television, so his whole focus and attention was only at his little friend any more. The Spaniard smirked, when he looked back at his team-mate, finding him smiling back at him, before their lips crashed a little more urgently than before against each other again.

Instinctively Lando did spread his legs for Carlos, so he could crawl between them to get even closer to his for attention screaming body. The young racer couldn’t believe it, he just couldn’t. The man of his dreams, his idol, his best friend, his team-mate was finally kissing him like he had already dreamed about so often. But his dreams were nothing compared to the kisses the Spaniard was willing to give him right now.

Lando’s heart did burst from excitement and nervousness. It felt like it did jump all happily up and down inside his chest and he was really afraid about passing out. This right now was the best moment in his life and even when he didn’t know how he did deserve it, how he did deserve him, the young racer still enjoyed every second of it.

Lando’s body was frozen and stiff, still overwhelmed about the situation. Only his lips did move shyly. Carlos’ hands weren’t that shy, when he wrapped his left arm around his belly and gently pulled him closer to deepen their kiss and trying so to wake him up. The Spaniard did cup his cheek with his palm, while the only noise in this room was now the sweet music their lips were playing.

The young racer couldn’t believe it, he just couldn’t. His biggest dream was finally coming true. Or was he maybe still dreaming, having the best dream of his life? But everything felt so real, so perfect. No, it wasn’t just a dream. Because something like that, such feelings like they were rushing through his body at the moment, he wouldn’t have been ever able to imagine in his best dreams.

Lando began to gasp, when he could feel Carlos’ fingertips wander under his sleeping shirt and his tongue asked for permission to get invited into his mouth with licking over his already from their kisses swollen lips. Now it will really happen. Now they will really sleep together. What if Lando still wasn’t ready for this? Hell, he didn’t even exactly know how this was working? What was he supposed to do?

His erection didn’t seem to care much about that, because he was stone hard and did already hurt badly. Lando could feel Carlos’ penis too and it did press the air out of his lungs every time he pressed himself into his tight. The Spaniard did really want him. He found him attractive enough to want to have sex with him. How was this even possible?

When Carlos finally licked with his tongue over his younger friend’s lips and carefully tried to push them apart with his tongue, he could suddenly feel how stiff Lando became under his touches. The Brit still hated himself for what he did next, he also didn’t know what he was thinking at that moment, when he began to giggle like the inexperienced, stupid teenager he actually was. This situation wasn’t funny at all, but he was so damn nervous and like always when he was nervous he began to giggle unsure like a little kid. Yeah, feeling his friend's tongue against his lips felt awkward, but in a good kind of way. So why did he had to giggle then?

It caused Carlos to stop his whole movements and he looked down at him with a very confused look, trying to figure out what had caused him to giggle and why his smaller body was so stiff in his arms now. Why he was suddenly so nervous and insecure.

“You okay, little one?” Carlos asked softly, before Lando nodded his head maybe a little too quickly and said “Yeah. It’s just..” But he didn’t need to go on, because the older one understood anyway. “It’s your first time with a man. Isn’t it?”

Again Lando nodded his head, while Carlos lips formed a smile of sympathy and he just wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to be afraid or scared, when the younger one suddenly added “Not only that. It’s my first time in general.”

Carlos gaze suddenly changed, like he had realized or remembered about something ground-breaking from one second to the other and Lando got nervous because he didn’t know what it meant, so he quickly said with an unsure smile on his lips, trying to lift the mood again “That before was also my first kiss. My very first kiss.”

It didn’t make things better, the totally opposite actually. The Spaniard kept on watching him this way, that caused Lando to get goose bumps everywhere on his skin. Carlos’ mouth fell wide open by that information and he seemed to be even more shocked after what he had just heard.

Slowly Lando began to panic. He had thought he could tell his friend about it. That he could trust him. That he would understand it and he won’t make fun of him. At least the last thing wasn’t the case till now. But Carlos seemed to be overwhelmed with this information, he really wasn’t expecting that.

After some time, which felt like a half eternity for the younger one, Carlos finally said with a small, shaking voice “But.. You have said you have got your first kiss with twelve.” Unsure Lando bit down on his under lip. He began to feel damn uncomfortable, while the Spaniard still leaned over his body and he couldn’t move away and hide himself behind something like he wanted to do so badly.

“That was a lie. I didn’t want to look stupid. I..” But Lando couldn’t go on explaining, because the older one suddenly began to say something in Spanish. Normally the Brit did like it, when his friend spoke in his mother tongue, but right now it made himself even more insecure.

Slowly Carlos finally pulled away from him so Lando could slip away from under his body and touch. The Spaniard had his hand in front of his mouth, his eyes were widened in shock, while he still matured something in Spanish. “Carlos, I don’t understand you. What are saying? What’s wrong?” Lando asked all concerned, while he pulled his knees against his chest.

And suddenly it blurred loudly out of his friend’s mouth all at once “You are a virgin. You are still a virgin.” His unexpected loud voice did make the younger one even more uncomfortable and his cheeks began to blush in a deep red. “Is this really that bad?” Lando asked carefully, while Carlos still stared at him with that expression.

By his question the Spaniard did look away from his younger team-mate, he kept quiet for a few seconds, before he said more to himself than to Lando “That’s wrong. That’s.. I shouldn’t have.. You are a virgin. You are still a kid.” By the last word the Brit got goose bumps everywhere on his skin and a cold shiver ran down his back.

It was the first time he hated it to hear this word coming from his friend’s lips. He just couldn’t believe it. He had always thought about Carlos being the only one who had got it who he really was. “What? I’m not a kid any more.” Lando said as strong and determined as he could, while he tried to hide it how hurt he actually was.

The Spaniard moved his palms over his face a few times, whispering something in Spanish to himself the younger one couldn’t understand once more. How much he suddenly hated this language.

“Carlos, please. Say something. Something I can understand.” Lando begged him all desperately with a shaking voice. “Sure you are.” Carlos said with a very loud voice, he almost yelled at him. Lando flinched together badly and tears began to build up in his eyes, like always when someone was talking a little louder to him. His friend’s tone told the Brit, that didn’t allow any contradictions.

But still the young racer tried to convince him the contrary with taking his whole strength together and answered “No, I’m not. I’m not a kid, I have always thought you know that. And what does it change to be a virgin?” After a half eternity the older one finally looked at him again, a look Lando had never got from him before.

“It changes everything.” The young Brit stared at his team-mate for some moments, thinking that maybe this all was just a joke from Carlos and he will start to laugh soon and will tell him that he was only making fun and Lando wouldn’t have been mad at him for it.

But slowly he began to realize that it wasn’t just a joke. When Carlos began to move, trying to make his way out of the bed, Lando did escape an unbelieving little laughter, before he said “So you mean if I wouldn’t have been a virgin any more, it wouldn’t have mattered. You would have just fucked me then without thinking.”

“Don’t say something like that.” Carlos corrected him sharply, pointing warningly with his index finger at him. And there were his tears. Lando didn’t understand the world any more. He had always thought that giving someone his virginity or being able to take it from someone was something special. He must have understood something completely wrong, because Carlos seemed almost terrified since he got to know about it.

“You should better stay by your computer games. You are only a kid.” The older one suddenly snapped and it hit Lando in the middle of his heart. Were his kisses really that bad? His shoulders sank, he felt ill instantly and even without wanting it the first tears rolled over his cheeks. He had never thought about Carlos being so harsh to him and even hurt him so much.

When the younger one saw how the Spaniard began to search for his clothes in the almost darkness of the room, he whispered pained his name. Trying to get his attention again so desperately, because he didn’t like to where this conversation was going.

While Carlos jumped into his sweatpants, he said determined “It was a big mistake. I have made a mistake. We should have never started this, sleeping in one bed together and this all. It’s my fault. I should have known it better.” After getting into his sweater too, the older one just wanted to get out of the room, when Lando could hold him back with saying “Please, don’t leave me.”

He had crawled from where he was lying to the edge of the bed, sitting on his legs, looking so begging up at his older friend with those big eyes and his voice began to shake, when he begged once more. “Don’t leave me alone, Carlos. Please.” New tears were already glistening in his eyes, afraid about the man leaving his side he needed so badly in his life.

Lando stretched out his hand into his direction, trying to reach for his arm, even when he was standing too far away for him to take his hand. The younger one tried to tell him with his eyes that he wasn’t mad at him for what he had just said and that they could forget it all again. They could act like nothing had ever happened. Everything could be like before again. Couldn’t Carlos see, that he needed him so badly?

The Spaniard looked back at him and eyed his stretched out hand for some seconds, like he really thought about taking it, but finally he only shook his head slowly. When Carlos looked up into Lando’s broken and hurt eyes, the younger one knew he had already made his decision. His hand stayed alone and cold.

Because Lando exactly knew that normally Carlos couldn’t see his friend like that and in another situation he would have hurried to his side instantly and he would have taken him into his arms, calming him down and whispering that everything will be good again.

But this time his lips got only into a thin line, while he looked at Lando like it was the last time ever. “I’m so sorry.” Carlos whispered, before he opened the door and the younger one had to watch how he disappeared through it. Letting him all alone back here. Lando’s little world just broke apart in front of his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, don't hate me..
> 
> I know, this probably really wasn't what anyone had expected, but we slowly get there (even when right now you won't now where there is).
> 
> I feel so bad for Lando, getting his biggest dream coming true in one second and in the other he gets his heart broken.. But in the next chapter we will finally find out about Carlos. What he is thinking, why he had done and said the things he had in this chapter.
> 
> And because this chapter is so "awful" I will try my best to upload the next one in the next few days.
> 
> Hope you still kinda liked this one - sorry!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this chapter turned out waaay too long. I have actually planned it to not even be half as long as this, but here we are.
> 
> But after the last chapter and the so many comments (don't get me wrong - I LOVE all of your comments, no matter what kind), I just had the need to clear something.
> 
> It really wasn't my intention to make Carlos the bad guy. For me he wasn't and I still just can't be mad it him - maybe also because I already know what will happen next..
> 
> However, nothing big happens in this chapter. It's actullay almost only made from Carlos' thoughts after he had left Lando back alone. 
> 
> Hope you will still enjoy it and maybe I can change some opinions about Carlos and make the things he had done more understanding.

Lando kept sitting on top of his bed like that for a few minutes. He didn’t know himself what he did expect to happen, but he just looked hopefully to the closed door, while tears were running down his cheeks like little rivers. Maybe, maybe he will come back.

But after a half eternity had passed, the young Brit had to admit, that his team-mate won’t come back, that he won’t take him in his arms and kiss the top of his head like he always used to do. Carlos won’t ever do that again. Because Lando had destroyed everything.

With that knowledge the young man let himself fall back into his bed and cried badly into the pillows. Carlos’ scent did still linger on the pillows and the bedsheets, but it did slowly fade away, like the Spaniard himself did out of his life. It only showed Lando that it was indeed over and let him behind all shaking.

The young Brit cried his heart out, his sobs were deep and did already hurt his lungs, while he wasn’t able to calm down again. He screamed and cried into his pillows to make room for his sadness, embarrass and the hate towards himself.

It was all his damn fucking fault. Only his. If he had been able to keep himself together, nothing of all this would have ever happened. Why did he have to giggle like the stupid, hormone controlled teenager he was? Now he had scared his friend away and nothing won’t ever bring him back again.

They had got along so well for so long and from one second to the other everything had changed. And Lando hated changes, especially such big ones. What if Carlos didn’t want him around any more? What if their friendship was over now? Nothing will be the same again. And the saddest thing was that it was so close.

Almost. Almost had Lando made his team-mate to feel the same way for him like he did secretly for him since such a long time. He was almost happy, he had almost reached his destination. He had almost made his biggest dream come true.

Carlos had showed him more than once in these precious moments when they had kissed, that he indeed did want him too. He was even hard and had really wanted to make the next step. Lando still couldn’t believe it, his team-mate had really wanted the same.

And if he had kept his stupid mouth shut, Carlos would still be here, making him feel good, maybe even making love with him. But at the same time the young racer knew, that even if he wouldn’t have said anything at that moment, the Spaniard would have found out about this being his first time anyway.

He was so damn insecure, nervous and excited, it would have been impossible to not notice it. Latest when Carlos would have found it out on his own, he would have still left him back alone here. It wouldn’t have changed anything in the end.

There would have been just some more moments of kissing, but the end would have been the same. Lando was just too unskilled for his friend’s favour. He didn’t like the fact about him being still a virgin, it did shy him away.

And for the very first time in his life, the young Brit hated himself and the way he was. He had always said, that he didn’t care about what people were thinking or saying about him. But he did care and he did give a damn about what Carlos was thinking about him. And for the Spaniard he was too childish and juvenile.

It was his own fault that he had made Carlos that angry, he had all rights to feel this way. Lando had lied to him. He should have told him the truth already since a very long time. About his sexuality, about being still a virgin, about that he liked him more than he should. Maybe then everything would have turned out differently. It probably would have.

Lando should have known it before, should have known it better. It was actually so obvious. Even when he had so much luck about his friend being also gay, or at least interested in man, Carlos didn’t want such a young, inexperienced boy like him. Even when something on him was still okay to have sex with. And Lando didn’t know if he should feel better or even worse about that. At least he had had a chance, a chance he had messed up.

Was it good that Carlos obviously was attracted to him in some way or did he only want him at that moment because he was the only one around and as horny as himself? However, Carlos was ready for the next step, till Lando had told him about his virginity. It was obviously too much for the Spaniard then.

For Lando Carlos was the most beautiful man in the whole world, how could he be so stupid to believe, that he did think the same about him? Maybe it would have been a once in a lifetime thing, because they were both heated and seemed to need it at the same time. Some friends-with-benefits kind of thing. What did Lando know about it anyway?

Never before in his life had Lando felt that bad. Getting rejected was the worst feeling ever and getting rejected by his best friend, the man he loved and admired, was even worse. Lando cried his eyes out that night, hating himself so much. And even when it were only hours, he already missed Carlos so badly.

When he had gone, he had also taken his sweater with him. So the young racer didn’t even have that left from him. He would have pressed the material against his nose now, sniffing in his scent as long as it did still linger on it. But he didn’t have anything left from him.

Lando’s body was shaking badly, he felt so cold, even when he did hide himself under his bedsheets. Carlos wasn’t here any more to warm him up, he won’t ever be that close to him again.

Just that thought caused Lando to tear up once more, even when he had thought, that he had already spent every tear he had inside his small body for tonight. He didn’t want to, no he just couldn’t live without Carlos any more.

He knew he won’t be able to sleep any more tonight, even when there were still hours till he had to stand up. But he was afraid about falling asleep, maybe even having a nightmare, after what had happened. If so, no one would be there to hold him and calm him down again. So Lando kept awake, not feeling tired anyway.

He had taken all on one card and had lost. He did guess that this was the way of his life. Lando had to live with that now, even when at the moment he didn’t know how he should do that.

Carlos was always the one he was racing for. And now he was gone.

The Spaniard himself also couldn’t sleep. Of course, he couldn’t. He felt so damn bad about what had happened, about the way he had treated his best friends. About the things he had thrown at his head, about that he had even yelled at him. He also knew now, that it was so wrong from him to just run away, when Lando needed him the most. But he just had to go, he had just needed to get away from this all.

Carlos didn’t know any more what he was thinking, what ran through his head, when Lando had begun to move in his sleep. The little one moaned quietly into the pillow first, while he could watch his butt moving back and forward, pressing his middle against the hard mattress under him.

Carlos was able to ignore that as good as he could, but then the young man had started to move, had crawled closer to him to press his erection into his tight and rubbed it against his flesh like into the mattress before.

The older one hadn’t known what he should do, he was overwhelmed. He thought about laying still, till Lando would stop or come or maybe even both. He didn’t want to disturb him a second time this evening. But then the young man began to whisper and moan his name, over and over again. And it did sound like the most beautiful symphony in Carlos’ ears.

He was really dreaming about him. He just couldn’t believe it. When the Spaniard felt his own dick grow big inside his boxers, a wave of heat rushed through his whole body and his mouth began to water, his conscience and also his last brain cells were completely gone then.

He laid Lando back onto the mattress and he just wanted to go to the bathroom, waiting for Lando to finish and also jerking himself off, while he waited till his younger friend would calm down again. But then the smaller one reached for his arms and held him in place, while Carlos looked down at him with big eyes. He needed to get away from him before it will be too late, but at the same time he also didn’t want to.

He fought with himself more than just one minute, while he thought about what to do now. It wasn’t logical, it didn’t make any sense, but still he suddenly found himself kissing Lando’s lips, after he was whispering his name for the thousand time that night.

Never before in his life Carlos had felt like at that moment. His team-mate’s lips did always look so kissable and inviting, but the taste of them, to feel the soft flesh against his mouth was more than he could stand. This moment could have last forever.

Only when Lando had told him the truth, he did suddenly realize again what he was actually doing here and with whom. It was Lando, his sweet, little, innocence Lando. His best friend, his team-mate.

How could he dare to kiss him, to seduce him with that? Yeah, he had whispered his name in his sleep, while he had pressed his erection into his tight, but that still wasn’t an excuse to lose his nerves like that. He didn’t let the younger one another chance, he didn’t give him time to stop him. Carlos had made his teenager hormones even crazier than they already were and also confused, after they have already spent so many nights so close next to each other.

Lando was young, he was still so young. He just couldn’t know already now what he actually wanted. It were his hormones, he was heated and yes, he had probably wanted him, but only at that moment. Tomorrow he would have been probably damn ashamed about it and their friendship wouldn’t have been the same any more. It probably won’t ever be the same any more after everything anyway, but at least Carlos was able to save his friend from that uncomfortable feeling.

But if he could, he would take it all back again. He would turn back time and would make everything different, everything better or at least more bearable for his friend. Or best, he wouldn’t have ever kissed him at the first place.

But here he was. Laying all alone in his cold bed, looking up at the ceiling, while clear tears made his view blurry and he couldn’t believe how stupid he was. Damn, the way Lando had looked up at him with his big, glassy eyes, shaking lips and his hand begging for him to stay. Carlos had almost given in, but they just couldn’t be close at that moment. They both needed a distance between their two bodies, to calm down again. He had almost given in.

He knew if he had taken his hand, if he had sat down next to him and would have taken him in his arms, he would have given in. He would have kissed the top of his head and would bring up so Lando’s hopes once more. He just had to ran away as fast as he could, to pretend him from that, to save his friend from his best friend’s hands.

The younger one would have tried to talk him into it, he would have tried to change his mind, if he had taken his hand. Lando always exactly knew what he had to do with his big, puppy eyes. He would have wrapped the Spaniard so easily around his little finger, like he had already done so often. Carlos knew he would have given in, he would.

And it still shocked him to his bones, but Lando was right. If he wouldn’t have told him about his virginity and this being his first kiss, the Spaniard would have gone on and would have even had sex with him without even thinking about it.

Lando was never in a relationship before, he had never had sex with a girl before, he hadn’t even had his first kiss yet. How could someone so young like Lando even know what he wanted and what not? He didn’t. He just couldn’t.

The Brit hadn’t slept with a girl yet. Maybe he would enjoy it and only thought about liking men more than women. Carlos really shouldn’t be his first one. And overall something like this, being gay, didn’t fit into their world, into the job they both had.

It was careless, stupid and very selfish from Carlos. This all hadn’t crossed his mind for even one second and he also didn’t think about the consequences at that moment. Sure, they had never talked about this topic before, but still. They should have, because now it was too late.

Why had Lando never told him anything about it all? The Spaniard had always thought the two of them were friends. Was the young racer maybe afraid about telling him so, him, his best friend? Was he scared about Carlos’ reaction? That he would pull him away and end their friendship because of it?

But if the older one thought about it and that he himself had also never told his team-mate about his sexuality, he couldn’t blame him any more. Carlos himself didn’t know why he had never told Lando so, what had stopped him from doing so. But when he thought about it now, he knew that they should have done it. It was their biggest mistake.

Carlos was the older one, the one who should have known it better, the one who should have started that conversation, because he could see it. He could see the way Lando was around women. He never knew what to do with them, even when some of them tried to make him nice eyes. Lando couldn’t flirt, even when he tried so badly.

The Spaniard in contrast didn’t have a problem with that, even when he was actually gay. He did flirt a lot with women, he knew his effect on them, but he really wasn’t interested in them. It was just for the fun.

Carlos always had this suspicion, knowing how shy and unsure Lando was, but still he had totally forgotten about it, when he had looked up at him not even one hour ago. So innocent and he had once more fallen for him.

Lando was still only twenty years old, Carlos should have wasted at least one thought about that maybe he still hadn’t had his first time. Even when he would have been older, he still should have asked him before. Just imagine it about what a damage he could have caused made him shiver.

Carlos knew he hadn’t reacted like that, but he was actually damn relieved about his friend telling him his secret, before anything worse could have happened. Not only brought it back some sense into his body, but he could also beware his team-mate from a horrible first time.

The older one didn’t want the same experiences for him, like he had about his first time having sex with another man. But he also knew, that he would have given him such horrible memories, if he wouldn’t have told him about his virginity and they would have gone on. He was sure, about that the two of them would have had sex, but Carlos would have been in the faith that it wouldn’t be his friend’s first time.

Then Carlos would have been just another one, with whom Lando would have sex with. He wouldn’t be THE one, who was taking that from him. He wouldn’t be THE one, Lando would always have to think about, when he remembered about his first time.

Sure, he would have been still all gently and carefully, but he knew he would have hurt him. He would, like he got hurt by his first time. What damage Carlos could have caused by Lando. The younger one was so sensible, he would have maybe broken him. Maybe he would have been scared after, would have never wanted to do it again, because it had felt so horrible.

Carlos had wanted to save him from that, to protect Lando from him. Yes, it was true, the older one adored, worshipped and wanted his friend in ways he should be ashamed about only thinking about them, but back then he had promised himself to not ever lay a hand on him. Because it was wrong. Oh, it was so wrong.

Carlos didn’t know it for sure, but at the same time he actually did, when he had looked into his friend’s eyes. Lando had wanted more, more than just sex. He had wanted him, in the same way as the Spaniard wanted his team-mate since such a long time.

And it made him even more scared than he already was at that moment. Lando seemed to have kind of fallen for him. He had expected that their kiss was the confirmation about Carlos wanting the same. The beginning of something big, but it was actually the end before it could have even started. And yes, oh yes Carlos wanted the same so badly, but they shouldn’t. They just couldn’t.

The Spaniard should have never given him hopes with kissing him without thinking about the consequences. He was the older one, he should have known it better. He brought up his hopes, to just break his best friend’s little heart moments later.

What one simple, sweet kiss could cause. Sure it was Carlos biggest dream to kiss his so perfect formed lips, but he exactly knew they shouldn’t do that and especially they shouldn’t feel this way about each other.

What will their team say about it, if they would ever find out? What the press? There would be so many uncomfortable questions. Would they lose their jobs? Would they never become world champions, because of all the hurly-burly about their sexuality? What would the other drivers say? Would they be accepted or would they get so much hate that at one point they would break because of it? What would their family, their friends outside Formula One say?

Lando really enjoyed his time in Formula One and he had every reason to do so. He was so talented and not ashamed to show who he really was, to finally show some personality in this sport. Everyone loved him and Carlos could destroy this all so quickly and easy with just one kiss.

Because something like this, your sexuality, being gay around almost only men, didn’t have any space here. Everyone knew that. It was an unspoken rule. Being gay was one thing, but being gay with your team-mate was another thing. Lando just shouldn’t risk his career, he shouldn’t risk so much for someone like Carlos. They didn’t even know if it would have worked out. In the end they were different and then there was this age difference between them.

The younger one really shouldn’t be together with him, with his team-mate. He should look for someone far away from this world, a sweet, nice guy in his age. Someone like Sacha, but not him. Lando would be so much happier with someone else anyway.

Lando had the chance to be a world champion one day. God, what a big chance he had. And the older one sure as hell didn’t want to destroy this big chance for him. The smaller one should only focus on racing and shouldn’t deal with the press, if anyone should ever find out about him being gay and even worse dating another driver, who was by the way also his team-mate. He was way too young for this all.

Maybe Carlos would have stood all these things, maybe. But he was sure about that Lando wouldn’t be able to handle them in a good way. He was still so young, sensible, inexperienced and shy. The older one knew that if he would look at Lando angrily long enough, he would start to cry without Carlos saying even one word to him.

So how would he survive that all without getting hurt or even traumatized? Lando would have broken under the pressure if anybody would ever find out about it. About them.

Even when the Spaniard still felt so bad about everything, he knew at the same time that it was better this way. He had just wanted to protect Lando from all this. He was still his little boy, Carlos wouldn’t have been able to watch him break and regretting things, which would have been too late then to take back any more.

Right now the young racer was probably feeling as bad as never before in his life, but these wounds will heal. He will see. It was better this way. It was okay being gay, it was really nothing wrong about it, but it was still very difficult. And being gay as a Formula One driver, in the manliest sport of the world, was even more difficult. If not impossible.

Carlos was aware about the way he had treated Lando really wasn’t okay. He should have helped him to realize and understand the situation differently than he had. But not like that. But the Spaniard was so shocked and scared that moment that he just wasn’t able to handle the situation any better.

Carlos’ instinct had literary screamed at him to pull away and get away from Lando as quickly as possible. He knew it was heartless what he had done and said, it really wasn’t fair. Treating Lando like a little kid, like he wasn’t worth it, was the worst thing ever, Carlos was aware of that now.

But his brain had stopped to work, because the situation also wasn’t easy for him. He had overreacted, had said things to his best friend he now hates himself for. But he had never really meant them, it was just the situation, in the affect.

The Panic had taken the upper hand over his feelings and reactions. Carlos’ logical thinking was completely gone and it was impossible for him to keep a clear mind. He was never in such a situation before and he knew that what he had done had changed their friendship forever.

He was so sorry about it all, he really was. The first thing he wanted to do next morning was to go over to Lando’s room and tell him how sorry he was. They would sit down and have a talk. Carlos would make him understand and realize the situation more calmly. No harsh, loud words.

He would somehow make him understand, but even when Lando won’t believe his words first, he still will one day. Carlos was sure about that. The younger one really shouldn’t be together with him, with his team-mate.

But even when the Spaniard knew about all the reasons why they shouldn’t, why they couldn’t be together, it still made him cry silent tears. He cared so much about his team-mate that it did hurt like hell just imagine him in someone else’s arms. He wanted to be the one to hold him, kiss him, make him feel good, to love him forever.

But like Lando had to realize it, Carlos also still needed to understand it, that there was no way for both of them. It was hard, but it was better this way. For both of them. But still, it did hurt as nothing else in his life before.

To push this pain into the backward, he tried to think about what he will say to Lando tomorrow. He could already see him in front of his inner eyes, with his big, begging puppy eyes, a pout on his lips and tears streaming down his cheeks.

He would tell him that they could still be friends, of course they could. And almost like before. But they had to stop to be that close to each other. No cuddles, no sleeping in one bed together, no kisses. Just friends.

But didn’t matter how often Carlos started their future conversation from new inside his head, he still wasn’t satisfied about his choice of words. It will break Lando anyway, but he just wanted to find the most bearable words for him. To make this all at least a little easier for him.

In the end Carlos really played with the thought to stand up and get to his cousin’s hotel room to ask him for help. He knew about his sexuality, he was one of the less people who knew, but Lando and he were also friends and maybe it would make the young Brit feel uncomfortable to know, that his cousin knew about what had happened.

Carlos then thought about his sister. She and their parents also knew about him being gay and she was always so supportive since the very begging and Lando didn’t know her. They would probably never meet anyway, but should he really wake her in the middle of the night because of his problems? Because he was too stupid to be a man and handle things right?

No, it was his own fault. He and only himself could make that good again, without pulling someone else into this mess. Carlos needed to fix that. And he will. For Lando’s best. He would do anything to make him happy again. To keep him safe, no matter what it will cost. Even when he had to give his love to him for that.

Carlos really, really cared about his younger team-mate. He did like him with his whole heart, since the beginning. Sometimes he felt like an older brother to him, when they were fooling around or played fighting. Sometimes he even felt like a father to him, especially at the beginning of the season, being so overprotecting about him.

If he was serious, he first didn’t exactly know what he should do with Lando. About what they should talk about, if their conversation will only stay by Formula One and racing or would they also talk about private things. If they maybe had same interests or if the age difference was already just too big for them to get along. But damn, how wrong he was back then.

In the begging, Lando was always so nervous and excited about everything and he also felt homesick very often. Carlos’ protect instinct, maybe even father instinct, about the little Brit was so big and he wanted to keep him safe at any cost. Lando just needed some time to get warm and now everyone loved him and the precious way he was.

Only when the Spaniard thought about Lando’s first race back in Australia so many months ago, he felt pity for him instantly again. God he was so nervous, everyone could see it. Afterwards the younger one had even told him about being so excited, that he had started to feel ill and had thrown up in his hotel room that morning. And Carlos just hated himself for not being by his side, when he had needed some support and encouraging words, even when back then they weren’t that close.

But most of the time, they were just friends. Best friends. They could talk to each other, serious talks. Carlos was always there for Lando, when he felt down or needed someone to cheer him up. The same the young racer did for him. They were a great team.

Never Carlos could have managed it to be mad or even nasty at his younger friend. It was impossible for him to not love him, even when first it was only love between two friends. For the Spaniard it was self-evident to look after Lando, to make sure he was alright and could give his best.

But it really wasn’t his intention to destroy this all with what he had done to him just hours ago. Carlos and Lando had both agreed to not end like Lewis and Nico. Yeah, till now they just didn’t come each other that close during races, but they also really couldn’t imagine it to end like this. They had something special, or? At least Carlos had always thought so.

It was like they had searched their whole lives long for each other. They did complete the other in the most perfect ways. Their friendship was unique and they were more than just simple team-mates. Carlos did like the little Brit very much. He had feelings for him he never had in his life before. It were so many and so intensive once, that he wasn’t even able to give them all names.

And the Spaniard always thought, that he had already enough roles in Lando’s life, but since the last months something had changed. Their relationship had grown since Spa into a very deep level. More than once Carlos had wished for being something more to his friend, maybe a love interest, maybe even a real boyfriend.

But at the same time he exactly knew he wasn’t allowed to feel this way, that he shouldn’t wish for that and dream about him. But it still didn’t stop himself from doing so every day. Just the thought about what could have been, if they wouldn’t be driving in Formula One, made Carlos happy. And for the first time in his life he wished to not be a racer.

He exactly knew, it was still all so wrong and he shouldn’t feel about his friend this way. But Carlos also couldn’t stop himself from doing so since a long time. Even when he didn’t want to, he still asked himself things like, if Lando was noisy in bed, because he always liked to talk that much.

The things Lando always did with his tongue made Carlos all nervous and excited. Whenever his sweet, little tongue pucked out between his lips, his heart skipped a beat. The Spaniard sometimes thought about him having a little snake inside his mouth, a snake which Carlos wanted to tame so badly.

It was just the most adorable thing, when Lando’s tongue pucked out at the corner of his mouth, when he tried to concentrate. Didn’t matter what he was doing, he was always perfect in the Spaniard’s eyes.

Already in the very beginning, when they had met, when he had seen him for the very first time, Carlos had completely fallen for his younger team-mate. He worshipped him like no one else in his life. He adored the way he was, his being, his look-like.

Carlos loved every birth mark in his face, he loved his sweet tooth gap, he loved every freckle on his shoulder, he loved his cheeky smile, he loved his beautiful eyes he got lost in every time he looked up at him, he thought about his curls being the cutest thing ever and he also adored his rosy cheeks, whenever he felt embarrassed. Since the beginning, Lando looked like a little teddy bear to Carlos. So cute and inviting to have a sweet cuddle with him. His little teddy bear.

But with time, the Spaniard had to admit himself, that the younger one wasn’t only cute. Lando was a damn sweet seduction for him, also a dangerous one. When he turned twenty, the first after him grew even bigger, because with becoming older he also became more legal.

But right now Carlos knew it was all wrong from him.

It wasn’t right. Spa, maybe Spa was. Lando had really needed him back then, but all the other nights were only because of his own pleasure. He really liked it to have him that close, to be able to hold him, protect him. It was the only chance for Carlos to have him that close, without crossing a line with it.

But it was wrong. The Spaniard knew that now. He was stupid, careless, selfish and he didn’t think even one second about what he did to Lando with that. He brought up his hopes, even when Carlos exactly knew he shouldn’t give him any. They had to stop that now, couldn’t go on like that. He should have actually known it better, that they couldn’t go on like that forever.

Tomorrow Carlos will also tell his team-mate about how sorry he was for spinning his head like that, it really wasn’t fair from him and also not his intention. He had wanted to keep his own feelings secretly forever, but failed pitifully.

From now on they should only be team-mates any more, not acting like brothers, close friends, like father-son or maybe even more. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. And Carlos should have known it better, he was the older one.

Even when it will hurt Lando so badly and also himself, but this had to stop. The Spaniard cared so much about the little one. Too much for the Brit’s own best, because he brought Lando into trouble with that and even worse, he did also hurt him. Something he had never ever wanted.

Hopefully Lando won’t take it too bad and he was already asleep, resting for the next day. But Carlos himself couldn’t close his eyes for tonight. He just stared at the photo he had made just a few hours ago. The photo from himself and Lando laying asleep in his arms, holding tight onto him. His face did look so relaxed and cute here. He was happy.

His lips had formed a thick pout, his curls were into an even bigger mess than usual and with his eyes closed he looked like a god-damn angel. Carlos did cry quietly to himself, while he looked at the photo. He won’t ever be able to have his little friend so close again. He did already miss him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. 
> 
> There was this small part, where Carlos thought about his first time with another man and that it wasn't that great - keep that in mind, because even when we haven't found out more about that in this chapter, we still will.
> 
> And I promise that the next one will be more exciting again and also more things will happen.
> 
> I don't know when I will be able upload the next chapter, but it will probably be after Christmas, we will see.
> 
> So, I already wish you now a merry Christmas, a peaceful time with your loved once and just all the best!  
Stay safe <3 sending hugs and kisses to you all
> 
> And I just want to tell you how happy you all make me with your comments, with you leaving kudos and spending time to read my story. This all means literally the world to me!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! :) I really hope you all had peacefully Christmas and great holidays so far!
> 
> I really wanted to post this chapter still in 2019 - so we can start the next year with something great ;)

Hours later, without finding any rest that night and it being actually still way too early to stand up, Lando tormented himself out of bed and did gasp when he saw himself in the mirror in his bathroom. He looked like shit. His eyes were swollen and still glassy from the many tears from the last hours. His nose red and sore, the thin skin under his eyes did look dark and strain. He looked horrible.

Lando eyed his reflection closely and he had to ask himself why he did look this way. He didn’t mean the effects from his crying, but he really asked himself why he did look the way he did.

Why couldn’t he just look like a real man? Damn, he was twenty years old now and he still looked like a freaking teenager. It would make things so much easier, if he would look like a young man, at least a little.

Maybe Carlos would have wanted him then, if he would be a man and not a kid any more.

But how was he able to become a man like his team-mate? He couldn’t change much about his look like. Maybe he could cut his hair again, make it shorter so his curls weren’t so visible any more. But a beard still wasn’t planning to grow anywhere any time soon. And he was way too thin and tiny, without any muscles. And his face did still look so much like the one from a teenager.

Maybe losing his virginity would help, would maybe help his body to finally grow up. And maybe Carlos would want to sleep with him then, if he would be manlier and he wouldn’t be a virgin any more. But this caused the next problem. How should he lose his virginity, or better with whom? The man of his dreams obviously didn’t want to hear anything about it.

Maybe he could ask one of his friends? Max, Alex, George or maybe even Charles? Would they do this for him? But most of them were in a relationship or would probably just laugh at him. Maybe he could ask one of the older ones? Maybe they had pity with and it would have had only one reasoning anyway. But how should he ask them for something like that?

Lando already knew it right now, that he won’t ever be able to ask any of them and even less he would be ready to finally really do it. He could only imagine it to do it with Carlos. The young Brit just knew he would take care of him and be gently. He wouldn’t feel the same way in someone else’s arms.

So this was out of question for now, but how else should he became a real man? There was only one possibility, he had to change himself completely. He promised himself to be another person from now on. Some controlled, decent and serious young man Carlos will hopefully like much more than the kid he was until this moment. He would do anything for having him back. It was time to finally grow up.

But it will probably take a long time, till his older team-mate will like him like before again, even when Lando will try to change himself so badly. Maybe Carlos will never be interested in him again. Maybe he won’t ever let him close again, giving Lando the chance to show him how much he had grown up.

Satisfied with his decision, the young Brit took a quick shower then, before he eyed himself in the mirror once more. Checking if there have maybe grown a beard over the last minutes, even when it was ridiculous he knew.

But of course there wasn’t only one hair. He let his shoulders sink and exhaled tired. He made himself finish, took on his clothes, but he didn’t take on his bracelets he usually wore, because he thought they did look too childish for his new personality. He was different now.

Lando then headed to the breakfast, hoping to not meet Carlos yet. He wasn’t ready to face him already now. He might break into tears straight away, just seeing him even from far away. He felt so damn stupid, ashamed and embarrassed about what had happened last night. Lando just wasn’t ready to see his eyes and the look in his face, after he had disappointed him so much.

Carlos was up earlier this morning than usual, he just couldn’t keep lying in bed any more, his thoughts and self-reproaches were killing him. It was way too early to already get over to Lando and talk with him now, so the Spaniard made himself ready for a long run, where he gave everything he had and tried so to silent his worries for at least some minutes.

He didn’t want to get over to his team-mate all sweated and stinky, so he first took a shower and made himself ready to go to their motorhome afterwards, before he took his whole courage together and almost ran with a fast raising heart over to Lando’s hotel room.

He breathed deep inside his lungs for one more time, preparing himself for breaking the boy’s heart now, before he knocked with a shaking hand against the wood. Nothing happened. He knocked one more time, saying in an as calmly voice as possible “Lando. It’s me. Please, let me inside. We need to talk.”

But again, there was nothing. Carlos pressed his ear against the door to see if he could hear so anything. But again, nothing. He also couldn’t tell if Lando was maybe just taking a shower and couldn’t hear him or maybe he pretended like he wasn’t inside there, too afraid to open the door for him, like Carlos had actually thought.

Or maybe he was already on his way to their motorhome. However, the little one won’t open the door for him and Carlos had missed his chance to make everything clear before they will head to the race.

Desperately the Spaniard pressed his forehead against the door, his shoulders sank and he pushed his head a few times hard against the wood. He was so stupid, he should have come sooner and he should have written him a message to wait. Even when Lando probably wasn’t in his room any more, he still said sadly “I’m so sorry.”

Some people did eye Lando, when he entered the breakfast room. He must really look like shit. After he had picked up himself some breakfast, even when he didn’t want to eat anything, but he just had to, he passed the table where the glass of milk with the little note “Lando’s milk ” was placed and took the next free one instead. He ate his breakfast alone, without Carlos sitting opposite of him and his usual smile on his lips, because smiling all the time and giggling so often was too childish.

When a group of his team people passed him by, one of the women asked him why he wasn’t drinking his milk this morning. Lando simply answered that he just didn’t want any today. But he kept to himself about drinking milk was as childish as his bracelets, smiles, streams and computer games. They all looked sceptical at him then, even seem to worry about him, but still they went on without saying one word and Lando couldn’t tell how glad he was about that.

Carlos saw how his younger team-mate just stood up from his breakfast, when he entered the room. He looked awful. Lando must have cried out his eyes all night long and hadn’t found any rest, like the Spaniard had actually hoped he would get.

Without saying one word to anybody or even recognize his friend, Lando left and Carlos knew then, that they won’t talk before the race about what had happened. Maybe it was better this way. They both needed to concentrate themselves and there wasn’t any time for such a talk anyway.

The older one just wanted to get himself something to eat, even when he wasn’t hungry at all, when he passed by a table with a familiar milk package on top of it and the usual note on it. Confused Carlos eyed the package, because it wasn’t standing on the same table where Lando had eaten his breakfast.

He had to notice, that the milk package was still full, untouched, when he took it in his hand and frowned at it with his lips formed into a thin line. God, what had he done? Carlos felt like a monster. Lando was everyone’s sunshine and he had really made it to break him. Carlos had really managed it to make his friend so sad, that not even milk was able to help him any more.

Till the race will start, Lando had told his team that he wanted to be alone, he only spoke with someone when it was really necessary. They all seemed worried about his behaviour today and about seeing him not for one time smiling. But they did all respect his wish, till it was shortly before the start.

Of course, Lando had already seen his team-mate today now, but only from far away and he tried to hide himself from him as good as he could. He still wasn’t ready to face him or even talk with him about last night. And Carlos did seem to respect it. Or he did just ignore him, however.

But still it was very strange to not be close to his friend. To not speak with him, fool around with him to pass the time, till the start. He did miss him.

Carlos had got it pretty quickly, that Lando didn’t want to see him, of course he didn’t. Some of his team members had told him about the way he did act the today. They had also asked him if he knew why he acted this way, but the Spaniard only shook his head and told them to let him be if he needed it, to respect his wish and let him alone.

Of course the last night had hurt Lando. How could he even think, that the young Brit would act like nothing had happened? Carlos had brought him into a very uncomfortable situation, he exactly knew that.

It felt strange to not go over to Carlos to wish him all the best, hearing from him the same and to be careful, like always. One of his team members did show Lando that it was time to get into his car now. The young racer did like he got told, but without his full will, while he looked one more time over his shoulder and back to where Carlos’ car was standing.

He didn’t exactly know what he had expected, till he could hear his friend’s voice clearly from out of the crowd. Of course Lando had wanted his team-mate to come over to him so badly, because he himself was just too damn shy and afraid to do so after everything. He wanted Carlos to take him into his arms like every time before a race start, tell him to keep safe and have a good race.

Lando’s lips began to twist just thinking about being soon in his team-mate’s arms again and his eyes began to water when he turned around all expectant. But there was no Carlos, who ran against him. There was no Carlos at all.

“C’mon, you have to go.” The team member told Lando once more, but the young Brit kept standing still and looked hopefully around for his friend. “But Carlos. He has called for me.” The racer did try to explain, but the man got already annoyed about his behaviour and shoved him a little harshly into the direction of his car. “Carlos is already sitting in his car, like you should do.”

While Lando did what he got told and climbed into his car, he had to admit about probably only having imagined his friend’s voice. Why would he suddenly want to come over to him anyway? It wouldn’t make any sense. Lando had to focus on the race now.

Carlos had tried to find his little team-mate under all of these people. When his eyes finally caught him, the young racer was already going into his car’s direction. Loudly he had shouted his name, because he just had to hold him before the start. Like they always did. It was a sweet ritual and it wouldn’t feel good, if they wouldn’t also do it today, even after what had happened last night.

Lando was for Carlos way too important for that. He needed to hug him, trying to not think about it being maybe the last time ever. He needed to tell him to watch out and stay safe, having a great race, telling him to give his best like usual. The Spaniard already wanted to run into his direction, when one of his team members did hold him back and said cold “It’s not time for this any more. Get into your car.”

Carlos did still hesitant, looked one more time over to Lando, but his friend still made his way to his car, hadn’t even heard him calling after him. With a heavy heart the older one sighted and finally climbed into his car. He had never felt so bad before a race than today.

The race itself wasn’t so bad for Lando, which did surprise him after what had happened the last twenty-four hours. He could focus, maybe he was already more professional than he had thought about himself.

It wasn’t a bad race, but also not his best. Until the last round it was alright, but in one of the last corners Checo had really made it to overtake Lando and so he had also overtaken him in the championship. The Brit had lost his tenth place in the very end of the race.

The race was already over for Lando then. The destination to end his rookie year under the top ten had died and all the sadness, embarrass and worries rushed back into his body all at once. He felt so incredible tired and exhausted, while he watched the firework above his head after the race was finally over and he made his last round.

All the emotions hit Lando all at once and he had really tried it to hold them back, but then there was also the fact that it was Jarv’s last race today and after he had spoken with him on the team radio, after they had given each other a little speak and one of his favourite team members had started crying, Lando just couldn’t hold it back any more, when tears also started to build in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks.

He couldn’t stop crying any more, even when he tried so badly. Lando had sworn himself to be a man no, but he couldn’t stop crying. He was just too weak for it. Because once started, he couldn’t hold them back any more.

Jarv tried to calm him, but it didn’t really work. The young Brit tried to change the subject in the hope his tears would stop to roll uncontrolled down his face, when he asked about Carlos. If he had made it at least, when Lando had already failed.

The young racer just had to know if his team-mate had really become best of the rest. And he had, Carlos had really made it and even when Lando was so happy for him, it made him even sadder at the same time. Because he knew he couldn’t celebrate with him now, even when he wanted to wrap his arms around him and tell him how happy he was for him so badly, but after everything he just couldn’t do this.

While Jarv told Lando about his friend’s move also in the very end of the race and that it was the one, final move he had needed to secure himself the sixth place, the young Brit smiled but also still cried bitterly.

His race engineer could still hear him cry over the radio, so Jarv told him that they will see each other in a few minutes, before he went silent to give the rookie some time to catch his emotions. But it were just way too many to calm down in just a few moments.

Lando cried bitterly, sobbed deep and just wanted to whip his tears away, but he couldn’t with his helmet still on. He drove with his McLaren, with his first Formula One car for one last time this year over the racing track. His rookie year was over, his dream of coming under the top ten by the end of the year had burst, because he wasn’t focused enough anymore and he was still to coward to have some balls and race like a Formula One driver, who deserves it to call himself one.

Jarv wouldn’t be in his team any more next year, Lando felt so damn sleepy, exhausted, confused, uncomfortable, tensed and sad all at the same time. This here should actually be a happy place. One year ago he had met Carlos here for the very first time in person.

But just twelve months later he had really managed it to break the beautiful friendship they have built up of the last months. Everything could have been so great today, but it was his own fault the way this all had turned out. Lando felt like shit. He just wanted to get out of here. Out of his car. Out of this place. Just far away. Lando wanted to be at home, by his family, under his bedsheets where no one could see or find him. He just wanted it to be over.

The firework was still banging over his head and tears were still falling from his chin, when he finally parked his car and climbed out of it. Lando patted his McLaren for one last time, thanking him for keeping him safe over the whole year, before he made his way into their garage.

The young racer kept his helmet on, so he could hide himself and no one could see his tears. From the corner of his eyes, Lando saw how they did celebrate Carlos on the other side and even when he wanted to get over there so badly, he still went on his way.

First the young Brit got over to Jarv and hugged him thankful for everything he had done for him over the last years. The man just nodded at him, he seemed to know that something was wrong, because the rookie still hadn’t taken off his helmet and didn’t speak one single word.

Lando knew he should actually go over to Carlos now and congratulate him for his sixth place, if he would have some balls, but he hadn’t. So the younger didn’t, instead he did flee into the safety of his driver room.

There he finally took off his helmet and threw it into the next corner. Slowly he let himself sink down on his small couch and with shaking shoulders he cried into his hands. Lando didn’t how long he was already sitting like that, when he could suddenly hear a soft knock at his door.

If he wouldn’t have hoped it to be Carlos so badly, he would have never tried to manage a reply, but he had really wished it to be his team-mate, who would take him into his arms. But the young Brit couldn’t hide his disappointment, when he finally saw Jon appearing in the door frame, searching worriedly for his protégé.

The rookie did hide his already tear strained face inside his palms again, when he heard his trainer closing the door again and felt him taking a seat next to him on the couch. “Lando. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You have made such a good job over the whole year. We are all so proud of you. You should be proud about yourself as well.”

Jon tried to cheer him up, while he laid his arm over his shoulder and looked all concerned down at him. Oh, if it would only be this one problem. But Lando had so many more, so many his trainer didn’t even know about.

Even with Jon’s well-meant tries to calm him down again, everything got only even worse. In the end Lando was already sobbing so bad, that he didn’t get any air inside his lungs any more. He felt his chest cramp and his tears suddenly felt so cold, so his whole body began to shake.

“Lando, try to calm down. It’s really not the end of the world. Please, try to breathe slower, this really isn’t good for your body.” Jon tried his luck one more time, latest now he was really worried about his protégé. Lando knew himself he was shortly before to panic, to get a panic attack. And he also knew that there was only one person who could help him now.

“Carlos. I. Need. Carlos.” The young Brit somehow managed to say, while sobbing between every word. Even after everything, he needed Carlos to be here, close to him, to take him in his arms, to comfort him, to tell him everything will be good.

Jon seemed a little surprised about his protégé’s wish, because like all the others he had also noticed and of course had also seen his behaviour today and above all that he hadn’t talked one single word with the Spaniard today. But still, his trainer was that worried about him that he didn’t question it any farther and answered instead to calm down his nerves.

“Carlos, he is still celebrating outside with the team. But I will get him for you.” And then Lando finally got it. After such a long time, actually a half eternity, he finally realized it.

“No!” He said quickly into the direction of Jon, who just wanted to get through the door. “No. Don’t. Let Carlos celebrate, don’t bother him. I’m alright.” Jon paused his tracks and looked even more confused and concerned at his younger friend than before. He frowned at him for a long time, trying to understand what was going on inside his head at the moment, but Lando didn’t even notice him doing so, because he was deep inside his own thoughts.

Just seconds ago Lando had finally realized the meaning of their friendship. Carlos was the giver, while Lando himself was only the taker the whole time long. The Spaniard never ever complained about taking care of him, watching out after him, taking him into his arms whenever he needed it, to calm him down, when everything became too much. He was just always there for him and he did never want something back from him.

Carlos really wasn’t the type to ask for any help. He always kept everything to himself, because he didn’t want to bother anybody, even if he would have really needed someone’s help.

The young Brit, never even wasted one thought about how his friend was feeling. If he was alright with taking the roll of his protector? If he was alright with his many tears or if he was maybe already annoyed about it? If he would have been alright with to stop to celebrate his sixth place, just because Lando couldn’t handle the situation and was too stupid to hold it together himself?

The young racer knew he never had to ask Carlos these questions, because he already knew the answer to it. Of course, the older one would agree to it all and above all he would never ever complain about it, because that was the way he was. Carlos was too kind for this world, too patiently, too nice, too sweet, he never thought about himself, always wanted to best for others and he was too good for someone like Lando, who had only used his friend for his own best, never thinking about him and his feelings.

The younger one felt like a monster. Why hadn’t he realized it before? He was so selfish and really didn’t deserve such a great friend like him. Carlos did deserve it so much to get celebrated after his so amazing season, he did deserve the attention about his person like no one else here. What kind of friend would Lando be, if he would drag him away from his so well-deserved celebration? He would have been a horrible friend, once again, like already so many times.

Lando was so sorry about everything and also deeply ashamed about what he had done to his friend. He was so cruel and never thought about his feelings. What had he done? He knew he had to tell his team-mate about how much sorry he was about everything, but not right now. Not in this so special moment in his friend’s career. Lando just couldn’t destroy that too.

“I need to get out of here.” Lando said, in the hope his trainer was still in the same room as him. He was, when Jon answered understanding but still confused “Sure. Get yourself changed. I will pack your stuff.”

The celebration about his sixth place was almost as great as about his first podium. But only almost, because one small, but still so important thing was missing. Lando. This time he wasn’t next to Carlos’ side, but the Spaniard understood it after what had happened yesterday.

But only after everyone had calmed down again at least a little, he got to know also another reason why he was missing. His team-mate had lost his tenth place in the championship in one of the last corners of this race. Like Carlos knew his younger friend he must be devastated.

Without even thinking about it, the older one rushed over to the young Brit’s driver room and knocked carefully against his closed door. “Lando. It’s me. Can I come inside?” No answer. Carlos tried to open the door and to his surprise it wasn’t locked. “If you don’t want me to come inside than just let me know. If not, I will enter now.” Carlos said warningly once more, but again no answer was coming.

So the Spaniard finally did what he had already announced and opened the door, but he didn’t find his younger friend crying in one of the corners like he had expected, instead he found an empty, dark room.

Confused he looked around the small place. All of Lando’s stuff was gone and just when Carlos had wanted to turn around and look for him everywhere, he crashed into Charlotte, who he asked instantly about his team-mate’s being.

“Lando was pretty disappointed after the race. He and Jon have left for the hotel about twenty minutes ago.” The older one felt so stupid. He hadn’t even noticed his friend’s state, being too busy with celebrating and not wasting one thought about how he was.

He was such a horrible friend. They needed to talk, they really needed to talk. Right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think about this chapter?   
Are they both really such bad friends? Or do they just really, really need to finally talk to each other?
> 
> Can't wait to read what you think! :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I wish you all a happy new year and that all your dreams and wishes will come true this year! I hope you have all stayed safe and have spent some nice, funny time.
> 
> And.. I also want to apologice beforehand to everyone I have promised, that in this chapter Lando and Carlos will finally talk to each other.  
I can anticipate that they won't talk toeach other in this one..
> 
> I know, I know - I'm so sorry for lying (really unintended) to you, but while I have re-read and re-written this chapter today, I just had so many new ideas and I have added so many more things, I just had to stop here, because the chapter would have been way too long then.
> 
> BUT, drum-roll please - the entire next chapter (and I promise you it isn't a short one) is only about the two of them finally talking to each other (and also all the other stuff they will be doing ;)  
Seriously, I promise!!!
> 
> But for now - just enjoy this one first :)

When Lando had finally arrived at his hotel room, he had calmed down as good as he could. But still he just wanted to hide himself under the bed sheets and wait till the rest of the day will be over and he could finally fly back home.

He sat down on top of his bed, let himself fall backwards and rubbed with his palms over his face, before he threw is arms away. When will this day finally be over, he asked himself for the fifteenth time today. There really wasn’t any energy in his body left to keep fighting this day.

Normally after a race was finished, they could all make their fastest ways back home, but today was different. It was the last race for this season. They will all stay here for one more night. The drivers will have dinner in about one hour and after, the big party was following. Lando never liked such parties, but today was even worse.

He played with the thought to say he wasn’t feeling good, so he could skip the dinner and also the party, but he knew he couldn’t do that so easily. He knew Carlos would worry about him, when he would find out, and he would probably want to check on him.

The young Brit just wanted to be alone right now and if he could choose, he better wanted to face his team-mate somewhere public than only the two of them here inside these four walls. Or better he didn’t want to face him at all any more, until he will get into the plane, which will bring him finally back home. But he also knew that this won’t happen.

So the young Brit finally took a pretty long shower, thinking about all scenarios which could happen tonight and he didn’t like one of them. Finally, he came to a decision, the best from all these. After he was finished with showering, Lando pulled on some light blue jeans, a black sweater and sneakers. Hoping to not look too childish in it.

He really needed to buy himself some perfume, to at least smell manly. Aftershave wasn’t necessary, why even, a beard still hadn’t grown him over the last hours. Lando breathed deep inside his lungs for one more time, before he finally left his hotel room, after looking into his mirror for the sixth time and being more or less satisfied with the reflection. The young racer went straight to Max’s room, he knew was on the other end of the floor. He had seen the Dutch going inside there yesterday.

The young Brit knocked at his door and a few moments later Max did already open it, a little surprised about finding Lando standing in front of him. “Hey, Lando. What’s up?” The taller one asked, still a little confused. “I..” The younger one did start, but he couldn’t find the right words, while he bit down on his lip.

“Are you okay?” Max asked carefully, getting it that something was wrong. “Yes. It’s just.” Lando tried once more, before he finally said it out loud “Can I stay next to you this evening?” Even more confused than before the Dutch did look at his friend and Lando began to ask himself if it was really such a good idea to ask him about that favour.

But what should he do? Normally he was always with Carlos together, but today it wasn’t possible. And he also didn’t want to be alone, stand out so someone will start to ask questions. He just wanted this evening to be over as soon as possible and also as inconspicuous as he could.

After a few more seconds eyeing him questioningly, Max finally answered “Sure you can. Why not. Are you already finished to go?” The older one asked and Lando was relieved about his agreement and also about the topic change.

“Yeah. We can go if you are also ready.” The young Brit told him relieved, before Max nodded and already stepped outside his room. “Great. Daniel is already waiting for me, I mean waiting for us. C’mon then.”

The two young drivers so went to the Renault driver’s hotel room, but even when the Dutch hadn’t asked any questions before, he still asked one right now. “What’s with Carlos? Isn’t he going to the dinner, because you aren’t going together?” Lando swallowed and felt caught even when he had expected such questions.

“Yes, I mean no. I don’t know if he is going.” The younger one stammered uncomfortable and when he looked up at Max, the taller one frowned at him. “What’s going on between the two of you?” The Dutch asked carefully, but Lando didn’t want to talk about it, to nobody. “I just don’t want to see him tonight, that’s all.”

The younger one knew it wasn’t the best answer, but at least Max seemed to be okay with it. But still he asked a little worried “But he hasn’t hurt you, right?” Of course, he hadn’t. Max knew like Lando about the Spaniard not being able to harm a fly. “No. He hadn’t.” The Brit answered simple, before the older one kept still, getting it that Lando didn’t want to talk more about that topic.

They had also finally reached the Renault driver’s hotel room and shortly after Max had knocked, Daniel already opened the door like he was already expecting them. Actually he was only expecting Max, so his usual big smile did fade away for one second, when he saw the smaller driver standing next to the Dutch.

With an almost sorry looking smile Max told Daniel about Lando joining them and without hesitating for one more second the Aussie nodded, before he stepped out of his room, laid one of his arms over each of his friend’s shoulders and said all amused “Seems like I’m going out with the kids today.”

Carlos made his fastest way back to the hotel. He just wanted to take a quick shower first, because his team had literally poured him over with champagne and he just didn’t want to talk to Lando being all sweaty, stinky and sticky. Maybe the little one wanted a hug and the Spaniard wanted to give him a real hug, without smelling like a walking champagne bottle.

Carlos was finished with his shower within minutes. He didn’t even bother about which clothes he did choose for the dinner and also for the party after, he was with his thoughts already fully by Lando and their coming conversation.

After seeing him the whole day long like that, his body language, his expression, his being, just the little broken soul he was, Carlos couldn’t let his team-mate be like that for one more second.

But in the end the older one found himself once more in front of Lando’s locked hotel room door and again it seemed like he had missed him. Just when Carlos wanted to give up and go away again, Jon came around the corner and said, after he had seen and heard the Spaniard “Lando is already gone, probably on his way to the dinner.”

Carlos sighted loudly, while he leaned himself exhausted against the closed door. Best he wanted to slide down the wood and hide his face behind his hands, but instead he kept standing straight, just shook his head and rubbed his tired eyes.

“You okay?” Jon asked worriedly, while he shouldered his bag. “Yeah. I’m really not the one who isn’t alright.” Carlos answered sleepy, he just couldn’t believe it he had missed his chance to talk to Lando once more. Understanding the man opposite him nodded his head, before he meant with a concerned voice “Yeah, I have also noticed so today.”

Sure Jon had, everyone had. Lando just wasn’t Lando today and it was all Carlos’ fault. He was a monster. The Spaniard was still deep inside his thoughts, when Jon added “He has asked for you, after the race. He was crying and I don’t know why, but something tells me he wasn’t only crying because he has lost his place to Checo. I have already stood up to get you, but he didn’t want to bother you, while you were outside with the team.”

Carlos felt even worse then. Yes, he was all overjoyed, happy and incredible relieved about what he had just made after the race, but he really shouldn’t have completely forgotten about his team-mate.

Carlos was still deep inside his thoughts, when Jon stepped closer and laid his hand on the Spaniard’s shoulder and tried so to calm down his nerves. “Don’t worry, Carlos. You really deserve it and also the celebrating. I don’t know what’s wrong with Lando, but if someone can find it out it’s you. Talk to him. He really needs you. You are good for him and something tells me he is also good for you. And this time I’m even sure about it.”

Jon gave him an encouraging smile, before he left the Spaniard alone again. After some seconds thinking about the trainer’s words, Carlos also finally made his way to the dinner. All alone this time, without Lando, and it felt so wrong.

On his way he met Nico, who was also on his own. They two of them started a conversation, which kept on till they entered the restaurant and so the two ex-team-mates ended up sitting next to each other. The German was sitting to his left, while Carlos was the last one on this side of the table.

About ten minutes after his own arrival, Lando came in together with Max and Daniel. They took place on the other end of the table and he didn’t know if he should be happy or sad about it.

Carlos didn’t know why, but something deep inside his belly began to knot by this. Of course, he was happy for his younger team-mate to not end up all alone, like Carlos first was. Lando had more friends than just him, but still it felt strange to see him with the others, while normally he was always by his side.

But now, with all the young drivers around him, Carlos also couldn’t just go over and talk to him or ask him if they could talk somewhere. He really didn’t want to make the situation even more uncomfortable for him than it already was.

Since this morning, Lando did look different. His curls weren’t in the usual mess like always any more. The young Brit must have spent some minutes to tame them and let them look the way they do now. The bracelets on his wrists were gone too, next to his usual always present smile. But the Spaniard still had to admit, about his friend looking very good in these light jeans and the tight, black sweater.

Lando also eyed Carlos from the corner of his eyes, during the dinner. He did look so damn delicious and hot like always. The way his dark mane was reflecting the light, looking so smooth and it did probably smell like the Spaniard’s favourite shampoo.

The older one was wearing a dark grey shirt. The first few bottoms of the cloth were opened, so Lando could see some of his chest hair and the tanned caramel skin underneath. The sleeves he had rolled up to his elbows, showing the dark body hair on his arms and also the muscles underneath the thin material of his shirt. And even when the Brit couldn’t see the jeans Carlos was wearing, even now he still already knew about him looking damn good in it.

Their eyes never caught during the dinner, even when their eyes sneaked so often into the direction of the other. Carlos noticed about Lando being with his head somewhere else. He didn’t smile, at least not the smiles he was usually giving.

He didn’t really join the conversations they were having on the other side of the table and he wasn’t really present at all. The Spaniard’s thoughts were also far away, but he told himself to keep it together, while Nico was talking almost the whole evening long to him.

Lando had to admit about his team-mate acting like usual, like nothing had ever happened and like it was normal that there was such a big distance between the two of them. He was on the one hand relieved about it, but on the other hand he had somehow wished about Carlos feeling at least a little different too. Was the younger one for his friend really that uncaring? But Carlos was also six years older than him, maybe he could just hide it better and handle the whole situation also better than him.

But while the young Brit did watch his friend talking almost the whole evening long to his ex-team-mate, a stupid thought suddenly hit him and didn’t let him go again. He felt sick from the very first second and couldn’t eat just one more bite any more. Max seemed to have got his discomfort, even when he didn’t know why his friend was feeling this way suddenly. Still, he gave him a smile, trying to cheer him up a little.

But still Lando could only think about this one thing any more, till the dinner was finally over and they were all allowed to leave. The youngsters were the first once standing up, already wanting to go to the party and have some drinks. When also Max stood up, Lando followed him quickly outside.

The young Brit began to feel a little better by the fresh air, but he was still all quiet, too quiet for like he was usually. Max and he were the last once and followed quietly Charles, Pierre, Alexander and George to the party. And suddenly Lando couldn’t hold it in any more, he just had to ask his friend about it to finally get this damn stupid thought out of his head and maybe finally find his peace again.

“Can I ask you something?” The younger one asked carefully, suddenly not so sure about himself any more. “Sure.” Max simply answered, being a little surprised about Lando starting a conversation for the first time tonight and then with such a question. Nervous the younger one didn’t know how to start, pulled his hand on the back of his head, before he finally said it out loud “How was the relationship between you and Carlos when you were team-mates? Did you come along or weren’t you any friends at all?”

Lando knew it was a stupid question and he better should have never asked, especially when he saw the Dutch’s expression. But he just had to know, even when he had already seen a few pictures and videos about the time, when the two of them were at the same team. Maybe it was all for the camera, but for Lando it did seem like they were friends and also now they often talked to each other.

But when he saw Carlos sitting right next to Nico, also one of his ex-team-mates, he just had to ask himself if Carlos was doing the same with them back then. Was he also cuddling with them, like they used to do? Did the Spaniard also place soft kisses on the top of their heads? Were they also sleeping in the same bed? Had Carlos also kissed them or maybe had they went even farther? Was Lando just the next one, one of many?

Lando did shake his head by that thought to get it out of his head again. It had never crossed his mind, that maybe the Spaniard had also done this to all with his team-mates before and he was just the next one and even stupid enough to fall for him. But how couldn’t he? Everyone would fall for Carlos, while he held you the whole night long, kisses with those smooth lips your cheek and looks that way with his beautiful, dark eyes down at you like you were something special. But why would he do that? Did Carlos have fun with breaking his heart?

The young Brit was already deep inside his thoughts again and almost hadn’t heard Max’s answer, when he spoke “Carlos was one of a great team-mate to me. Yeah, we are friends, but we didn’t have the same chemistry as the two of you are having.” Lando blushed a little then and he also felt so stupid for his thoughts instantly.

Of course, they were only friends, just like Nico and Carlos. And Lando was also just a friend, little brother or sometimes even kind of son for the Spaniard. And what had happened last night was only a slip-up. Nothing more. The end.

Max tried it once more to get his friend’s attention, when he told him well-meant “Whatever has happened between the two of you, you should really talk with Carlos about it.” To the older one’s surprise Lando did node his head, before he said with a small voice “I know. But not tonight.”

Max eyed him concerned for some more seconds, before Pierre called for the two of them, because they were already a few steps behind of them. The Dutch already wanted to speed up his steps, when he got it that the younger one didn’t follow him. He looked over his shoulder, before he already got his answer to his unspoken question why he didn’t keep up.

“I will better go to the hotel now. I don’t feel like I have to celebrate anything anyway today.” Max showed him one understanding look, but before he could say anything, George and Alexander came running next to his side, shoved Lando forward into the direction of the party and said “You sure as hell won’t go already now. Not before you have drank at least one glass with us together.”

In contrast to the youngsters, Carlos stayed with the rest in the restaurant. When he noticed Daniel taking place opposite of him, he only saw Lando for one more quick moment when he exited the room with his friends.

When everyone seemed to be busy with conversations, Daniel leaned forward over the table to ask Carlos what was wrong with Lando today. He also told him, that the young Brit was already with Max, when they had picked him up earlier.

Maybe the other conversations weren’t that great, because suddenly everyone was quiet and seemed to be interested about the Spaniard’s answer. But Carlos only shrugged his shoulders, acting like he was as clueless as the questioner, even when he definitely wasn’t. But he sure as hell won’t tell anybody about what had happened last night. He would never do that.

“But Lando always tells you everything.” Nico meant in disbelief. The Spaniard shrugged his shoulders once more, before he said more to himself than to his listeners “Yeah. I have also thought so.”

Lando and he could always talk about everything, but they had never talked about this topic. The young Brit hadn’t even lied to his friend about his sexuality, because Carlos had never asked him about it. He just couldn’t be mad at him for that. Lando had just never told him about it. That was all and it was also his right. He didn’t have to tell him and overall Carlos had also never told his friend about his sexuality.

Daniel didn’t seem to be satisfied with the Spaniard’s answer, when he determined in disbelief “Hell, you two are sharing earphones on flights and you really want to tell me now that he hasn’t told you about why he wasn’t the all so cheeky and smiley boy today? I mean, yeah. He is still a rookie, but the overtaking from Checo in one of the last corners really wasn’t necessary. Lando can do better.”

Carlos bit the inside of his lip and looked down to his hands. He could feel the others eyes on him, because they probably knew that the Spaniard did know much more than he was willing to tell them. But still, he kept quiet and only shook his head, to Lando’s own safety.

Suddenly Kimi said into the silence with a grumpy voice “If I would be you, I would already be annoyed about the boy. He follows you everywhere, he is really always by your side. You aren’t his father, even when you sometimes even treat him like your son.”

Carlos frowned at the Fin. He really didn’t like the way he talked about his younger team-mate. And the Spaniard also told him so, with a lightly angry voice “Lando is great and I won’t ever get annoyed about him. In contrast to you and your team-mate we come along pretty well. We are even friends and it really doesn’t bother me when he needs me.”

With raised eyebrows Kimi looked back at the McLaren driver and before he took his last sip of his probably already fourth wine glass, he muttered “Time will show.” Still angrily, Carlos looked around, asking himself about who else was thinking this way. It really wasn’t none of their business. Maybe they were all a little jealous about the two McLaren drivers having so much fun together and that they came along so well with each other.

Sure, Lando also had his weaknesses, like letting his milk packages stand everywhere in their motor home, but Carlos would never say that he got annoyed about his younger friend and his foibles. That was what Lando made and in the Spaniard’s eyes he was perfect and very loveable.

Carlos had to think about if Lando had got someone else as his team-mate, someone like Kimi. The young Brit did need so much attention, time and effort, what if he had got the wrong team-mate and it would have maybe even broken him? The Spaniard was willing to give Lando all his attention, time and effort, because he also got so much back from him.

Lando didn’t even know how happy he made him with just being himself. And if he wouldn’t have been, Carlos was sure he would never be right where he was. He would have never believed to have his first podium in Formula One and that he would end sixth with the beginning of this year. But here he was and Lando had much contributed to this all and Carlos was very grateful and proud to call him his team-mate.

The Spaniard just loved it to take care of him and if that was what Lando needed and the older one was more than just willing to give that to him. Carlos was also grateful about being able to make him feel better with just saying some nice, encouraging words to him or giving him a long, well-meant hug. Jon was right, Lando needed Carlos and visa versa.

After some silence, the topic of their conversation had changed, but still Lando didn’t leave Carlos’ thoughts any more. About one hour after the youngsters had left for the party, Carlos, Nico, Daniel, Lewis and Valtteri also entered it. Instantly the Spaniard’s eyes searched for Lando and finally he found him with the same people he had left the restaurant together. But something really caught the older once eyes, when he saw his friend standing there with a drink in his hand.

Normally Lando didn’t drink, never. Except that one time in Mexico, which really hadn’t ended that great for his younger friend. And maybe because of that, Carlos instantly hated himself for not coming here sooner, because he didn’t know how many glasses his younger friend already had, but he did know that just a few were already more than enough for him. Like always Carlos just wanted to protect Lando, no matter what it will cost.

But the only thing he could do for him right now was watching him and making sure that he was fine. But doing so became more and more difficult with every minute, because the place here filled pretty quickly and soon Carlos had really trouble to watch his younger team-mate from where he was standing.

“Don’t worry about him. Just let him have some fun.” Nico finally told his friend and of course the Spaniard did grant the Brit his fun, but he didn’t want him to exaggerate it because he knew about him really not being able to keep up with the other ones.

Lando had stopped to count the drinks he already had. But it were definitely the most he ever had in such a short time. Sure it still weren’t that much like back in Mexico, but still he felt already pretty hot, dizzy and his whole body felt a little strange. The more he drank the more he couldn’t keep his eyes away from his older team-mate.

Carlos was looking so damn sexy tonight, Lando just couldn’t help himself. He best wanted to go over to him and throw his arms around his neck to pull him down and finally kiss his soft lips again. But of course he didn’t.

He kept where he was and drank one glass after the other. The young Brit also determined that drinking alcohol was manly. Maybe he could also show his older friend so how much he had already grown up and maybe he could also impress him with that.

It was when Max and Daniel were suddenly gone, George and Alexander were talking lively with each other and Charles and Pierre were storming the dance floor that caused Lando to ask himself what he was actually doing here.

He didn’t belong here, he never had and he never will. Why was he even here any more? About what was he waiting? For Carlos to come over to him and act like nothing had ever happened between the two of them? No, this won’t ever happen. Never again. So the Brit started his way to his hotel room, without telling anybody about it.

Just moments after Lando had exited the room, Carlos got his absence and he became all worried and nervous about his being. Also Nico got his behaviour and asked what was wrong. He simply answered him that he couldn’t see Lando anymore and he had to find him, before he already left the German back alone.

The Spaniard got over to George, Alexander and also Pierre and Charles who just came back from the dance floor. Still all worriedly, he asked them if they knew about Lando’s being. The four of them seemed like they hadn’t even noticed him being gone. The older one looked at them shocked in response and he just wanted to go looking for his friend, when Pierre suddenly asked out of nowhere “What’s that even between you and Lando?”

Carlos did look confused and frowned back at him, trying to act like he didn’t know about what he was talking about. “What do you mean?” He simply asked, knowing that the French man normally wasn’t so direct and curious, it was the alcohol speaking out of him.

“Some have already seen you slipping out of Lando’s room in the morning or him going to yours in the middle of the night.” Charles finally answered the oldest and first Carlos didn’t know what to answer, but then he just said “I don’t have time for that right now. I have to find him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah.. What do you think?
> 
> As you have maybe already noticed, I like to play attention to the couple/to the main chararcters in my stories, but I also really love it to bring other characters into the game as well and this chapter was one of it.
> 
> What do you think about Jon - does he know anything about Carlos and Lando?  
Or maybe Max?  
What do you say about drunken Kimi and the way Carlos has defended Lando?  
Or maybe do already all dirvers know about the two of them or at least speculate, after what Pierre and Charles have said?
> 
> If I'm serious I love this chapter - so much space for interpretation and so many unanswered questions ;)
> 
> Hope you guys liked this one too and I'm probably going to upload the next chaper on Sunday, latest on Monday next week.
> 
> Till then, thank you all so much for making my year 2019 even better and making me all excited for 2020!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright - do you remember, when I promised at the end of the last chapter that the next one will be all about Lando and Carlos finally talking to each other and that it will be a long, new chapter???
> 
> Yeah, I have done it again. I have lied to all of you once more, because.. the chapter isn't only long - it's damn loooong ;) I don't know how this happened, but it's over 10k words long!!!
> 
> I'm sorry for that in advance, but hell - the two of them are talkin', talkin' ;)
> 
> Hope you will have fun reading THE chapter :D

All worried Carlos stormed out of the building, looking to his right and left, not knowing where he should start to look for Lando. He did finally decide for the direction of their hotel. The Spaniard did run through the streets like his life depends on it, searching already very concerned and desperately for his younger team-mate.

He had lost him. It was all his fault. He should have watched out for him better. Of course, he had already tried it to call Lando, but his phone seemed to be dead. Carlos hoped for Max and Daniel being by his side at least, the Spaniard didn’t even want to imagine what could all happen to him in his alcoholized state.

The older one did call his friend’s name, but Lando didn’t answer. The less people he met on the empty streets he asked if they had seen him, but no one had. It seemed like Lando had got swallowed by the ground, but just moments ago the older one had still seen him and suddenly he was gone and just lost.

With already a wild raising heart, Carlos ran around another corner, when the frame of a small body did catch his attention. It was Lando. Thankfully, he had finally found him. Oh, how many accusations he had already made himself and how damn worried he was about him.

But even when the Spaniard was very glad to have finally found him, he still gasped all shocked when he saw the way his friend was sitting there all alone on the cold ground, in the darkness of the corner, his back leaned against the wall behind himself and his whole body was shaking. The younger one had pulled his legs against his chest, his arms were laying on top of his knees and his forehead rested against his lower arms.

The Spaniard’s first thought was about Lando feeling probably ill after the amount of alcohol he had consumed. Carlos instantly hated Max for letting him drink so much or maybe even encouraging him to do so and letting him all alone then. He will definitely tell the young Dutch his opinion the next time he will see him, but now he had to help his little friend, even when they hadn’t spoken the whole day long and after their fight yesterday.

Quickly Carlos ran over to Lando, but still he did hesitant a little, when he got on his knees in front of him. For some moments he watched and listened to his best friend’s cries. What had happened to him? Max and Daniel were nowhere seen, had they said or even done something to him? Carefully the Spaniard laid his warm hand on top of his younger team-mate’s arm and whispered gently “Hey, little one. What’s wrong? Do you feel ill?”

Lando’s head did snap up instantly by his touch and words, looking up at him through his wet lashes. Clear tears were glistening in his beautiful eyes and tear tracks were all over his cheeks. Carlos had so much compassion for his little friend at that moment, while he smiled sympathetic down at him. He didn’t want to scary him, make him feel even more uncomfortable or sick than he already was. He just wanted to help him.

“Carlos.” Lando tried to say as good as possible through his trembling lips. It was a whimper nothing more, but the Spaniard was still relieved about Lando not pushing him away after what he had done to him yesterday. The two friends then looked at each other for some moments, just eyed the other one close without saying one word.

The Spaniard had to admit about Lando not looking that drunk, but he also knew about full fat milk being normally the hardest drink he drank, so even if he had drunk less, he was still probably able to feel sick. But the young Brit didn’t feel ill. Of course, the fresh, cooler air outside had hit him a little and he was still dizzy from time to time, but he really hadn’t the need to vomit.

As Lando had walked through the dark, empty streets with his hands deep inside his pockets, he had suddenly realized about right now going to his empty hotel room. Carlos wasn’t waiting for him there and he also won’t come to him tonight. He will have to sleep all alone in his way too big bed. And the worst, his team-mate, his best friend, the man of his dreams won’t ever be that close to him again. And just that thought had caused him to tear up so badly that he had to stop his steps and sit down for a moment.

But now the Spaniard was kneeling right in front of him, his beautiful eyes fixed on him and he would listen, Lando knew he would. So he wanted to tell his friend everything he had kept inside himself the whole day long. He just had to.

“I’m so sorry.” His voice was still just a helpless whimper and began to break, while he kept on looking deep into his friend’s so familiar dark brown eyes. “You really don’t need to be, little one. It’s okay, I will help you to get to your hotel room.” The older one offered truly concerned about his state, but this really wasn’t what the younger racer had meant.

“No, I’m sorry for last night. I’m sorry for what I have done. It.. it really wasn’t my intention to destroy everything we had. Nothing of this I did with intention, I just.. I’m sorry for ruining it all. I feel stupid for thinking that.. that you might want me too. I should have known about you wanting someone.. someone more experienced and mature. If I had already opened my eyes back then, I would have already changed myself before. If I had thought about it at least once before, I would have noticed it by myself. I was so blind. But I will change, I promise. I have already tried today. No stupid computer games any more, no messy hair, no bracelets, no crazy styles, no milk, no childish smiles and behaviours. And I also want to be more experienced for you, so maybe you will want me some day. I have already wanted to ask someone to.. to have sex with me so you won’t have to be the first one and..”

Lando got suddenly interrupted in the middle of his excuse, when Carlos couldn’t believe his ears any more. “Lando, what.. what are you talking about?” The Spaniard did stare at him with widened eyes and an opened mouth. What had he done, what had he caused his friend to do? The young Brit did look like he had done something completely wrong again and got once more caught by it.

“Is that the reason why you are crying here? Have you already asked someone to.. Was it Max or Daniel? Or even both of them?” Just the thought did let Carlos’ blood freeze inside his veins. He didn’t even want to imagine what these two drunks could have done to him. Carlos liked the two of them, but they definitely shouldn’t be the one to take that from Lando. Especially not at the same time and while they were drunk, being not able to control themselves any more. Lando was way too innocent for that. He needed something completely different for his first time.

A big weight did fall off of his shoulders, when his team-mate quickly shook his head and told him “No. I was too scared to ask anyone.” Good, that was more than good. Carlos did thank god for his shyness and still hated himself so much for placing that stupid thought into his head. What if he would have already asked someone? What if he had asked the wrong guy? Carlos would have never been able to give that back to him.

“Are you mad at me now?” Lando asked carefully, when the silence around them got too heavy and loud. “Mad? How could I ever be mad at you? I’m just glad, little one. I would have never forgiven myself, if someone had touched or even hurt you. It’s just that I hate myself for what I have done to you. Listen, Lando, it’s.. you are perfect the way you are. Please don’t ever change, especially not for some dork like me. I really didn’t want to scary you or give you the feeling about not being good enough. If anyway I should be glad to have someone like you in my life. And I have treated you like grab, like you really don’t deserve it.”

With a half opened mouth and listening eyes, the younger one did look up at him, before he looked ashamed down to the ground. “I feel so stupid.” Lando admitted, before he sighted. “I feel so stupid for everything what has happened yesterday. I have never wanted you to.. to notice it or even catch me, while doing it. But.. there was your sweater and it smelled so much like you and then..” His drunken state did let the young Brit talked about more details, than he did actually want.

Carlos understood, he did remember about his sweater laying under the bedsheets. On the one hand he also wished that all these things had never happened, because he knew they were wrong, but on the other hand, now after he had seen Lando like that, he couldn’t imagine living without these pictures inside his head any more.

“Don’t feel stupid about it, little one. It’s okay. I won’t ever tell anybody about it. Don’t worry. We can just forget about it again, like nothing has ever happened.” The Spaniard tried to cheer him up a little, but his words only made him even sadder. “But I don’t want to forget about it.” Lando whined, while he did still avoid his eyes, so Carlos took his face into his hands and made him so looking up at him again.

“Why have you never told me about the way you feel?” Carlos asked, while he watched the first tear that fell down his best friend’s face. “I was so scared about losing you.” Lando whispered and the Spaniard understood, of course he did, when he nodded his head. “Me too, little one. Me too.”

They both looked silently at each then, when they did realise that their fears had really come true. They were going to lose each other. But Carlos won’t let that happen, at least not peacefully. He will fight for it.

“Actually I should be the one for being sorry after yesterday. Please forget all the things I have said and also these thoughts. Don’t ever think about them again. I’m sorry for being so harsh to you, but I thought it would be easier for you to forget about it, to forget me, if you hate me. I was scared that maybe you wouldn’t understand it otherwise. Lando, you are way too pure for this world and also for me.

And I have never wanted to hurt your feelings, but.. this all was a mistake, my mistake. We should have never done any of these, also not sharing one bed. It was all wrong.”

Lando’s lips were trembling again, while new tears did build up in his already swollen eyes. “But why have you kissed me then, if you don’t like me?” The younger one did hold himself onto his friend’s arms now, because he was afraid about Carlos leaving him again.

“You can’t imagine how much I care about you, little one. But we really shouldn’t do this. In this world here..” Carlos looked around himself to show Lando which world he did mean “.. just isn’t any place for friendship, love or the two of us. You have so much potential, talent and such a big chance to make it, to become one of the bests, a world champion. But if someone would ever find out about us, it would only damage your way and I don’t want to be the reason for destroying your career. I really don’t want you to give up your biggest dream for something you don’t even know how long it will last or if it’s really the thing you want. And also not for someone who might isn’t worth it.”

“No, Carlos. You are worth it. You are worth it all, I know it.” Lando tried to tell him and make him realize it, but the Spaniard just shook slowly his head. But Lando didn’t give up, he tried it once more “No one has to know. Just the two of us. Like we have already done all the time” When Carlos kept quiet, unsure about what to say, without hurting his feelings once more, the younger tried again “Why can’t we at least keep on like before? Just with kisses and maybe some sex now? We don’t need to call it a relationship if you don’t want it.”

Even when Carlos smiled now, he still shook his head slowly. Lando got all desperately and whimpered between trembling lips “Why can’t we be together?” He did sound almost begging, because next to becoming a world champion, he also had another big dream since a few months. Carlos.

He also wanted him so badly. And he did want to fight for him as much as being a world champion one day. “It wouldn’t go well forever. We can’t risk it, little one. Not in the situation we both are. We are only supposed to be team-mates, not even friends. Not even mentioning it being together.”

“But I want you.” Now the young Brit was really begging and he exactly knew about Carlos not being able to say no to his puppy eyes, but right now he just had to. “I know, little one. I know. I want you too, but we are not allowed to.” New tears were falling over the edge of Lando’s eyes and made their way down to his chin. Gently the Spaniard whipped them with his thumbs away, while his own eyes did start to water.

“It’s so unfair.” Lando whimpered between sobs, he held himself even stronger onto his friend’s arms now. He just didn’t want to let him go, after he would have given up everything for him. “I’m sorry. But I really shouldn’t have been the one to give you your first kiss. You deserved a so much better kiss as your first.” Carlos whispered against his friend’s nose, their faces suddenly so close.

“No. It was perfect.” Lando whispered in answer. The Spaniard smiled to himself, while he listened to his younger team-mate. When Carlos looked him deep into his the young Brit’s so beautiful green eyes, something had changed. Like the world had stopped for a few seconds to give them this moment here.

And then Carlos was suddenly lost in Lando’s eyes again, like last night, like all the other times before. Lost in Lando’s so lovingly way, his innocent eyes, his with sadness filled tears, his heavy breathing, his touch, his so perfect formed lips, just everything.

He couldn’t resist. The older one knew Lando did deserve so much better and he also knew he really shouldn’t do this, but still he leaned carefully closer with his lips to his friend’s shaking once, till they touched gently.

Carlos did kiss him with so much love, respect, admiration and carefulness that the younger one got goose bumps everywhere on his skin and did melt under his touch at the same time. It was a long, tender kiss, which Lando did response softly, while he held onto his friend like he was his life. Carlos still balanced his face between his palms, while their lips melted and became once.

When breathing became a problem, the Spaniard slowly pulled away and had to smile to himself, when he watched Lando trying to catch his lips for another sweet kiss. He needed him like he was the oxygen he needed to survive.

Both began to tremble at the moment the warmth of the other once lips was gone. Way too soon than they had wanted they had to separate their bodies again, but only to lean their foreheads against each other instead.

Their eyelids fluttered opened by the touch and they looked deep into each other eyes. “That should have been your first kiss, little one. A kiss you deserve.” The Spaniard whispered against his skin, which made the young Brit shiver badly. The tip of their noses touched and also almost their lashes, while they eyed each other overwhelmed.

“I love you, Carlos.” Lando whispered and he still didn’t know if he should smile or cry after that beautiful kiss and finally convincing Carlos his feelings for him. “Te amo, Lando. Te amo.” The Spaniard whispered and he had the same struggle as his team-mate. On the cliff between smiling and crying. And even when Lando still didn’t know much Spanish words, he was still able to understand these and it melted his heart away.

Both men did start to cry heavily then, while they threw their arms around each other. Carlos placed soft kisses into Lando’s curls, while the younger one had wrapped his arms tight around his neck and probably won’t ever let go again. They did sit like that in the middle of the night for a half eternity. They both needed and wanted each other, even when they weren’t allowed to have each other.

It was Carlos who had calmed down first, kissed gently his younger friend’s tremble and whispered against his skin “We should better go now, mi corazon. Before someone will see us like that.” Of course, the older one was already expecting Lando to be all sad and even desperately about it, when he didn’t want to let go of him. “No. I don’t want. Not yet. Can’t we spend one more night together?”

Carlos looked down into Lando’s begging eyes and even when he knew it was false, he did still smile down at him and nodded his head, wanting it as much as the little one himself and this time he also couldn’t say no to his big, begging puppy eyes. “Okay. One last night. Just the two of us.” Quickly Lando nodded agreeing his head and looked with sparkling eyes up at his friend “With kissing?” Carlos began to laugh sweetly, before he just had to ask the smaller one “You like kissing?”

A little embarrassed the young Brit looked up at him, while he did suck his under lip unsure between his teeth. But still he nodded urgently his head, while his eyes grew bigger and bigger. “Then with kissing.” The Spaniard decided, and caused Lando so to form a real smile on his lips for the first time today. Carlos kissed his head for one more time, before he got on his feet and helped the younger one on his too.

They went to their hotel with a small, but still a little distance between the two of them, even when they best wanted to hold hands and never let go again. But still their fingers touched lightly and they did hold onto each other’s fingers for some precious moments, before they had to let go again.

The two team-mates got into Lando’s room, because it was closer than Carlos’ and they weren’t even one whole minute inside the save four walls, when it did knock at the door suddenly.

Before they could even ask themselves who this could be in the middle of the night, they already heard a very familiar voice “Lando? It’s me, Max. Are you inside there? I have tried to call you, but you didn’t pick up.” The young Brit did look over at Carlos for one more time, before he got closer to the door and opened it.

Not only Max was standing there in front of his door, also Daniel was right next to him and both looked worriedly. But that wasn’t the only thing they had in common. Both of their cheeks were coloured in dark red, probably from the alcohol and their lips did look red too and somehow also swollen.

“Hey, I’m sorry. My phone is dead.” Lando did excuse by the Dutch, while the older one scanned him if he was alright. When Max saw his friend’s eyes, he instantly knew he had been crying recently. “The other have told me about you being gone suddenly. Are you okay?” And then Carlos did step next to his younger team-mate and also greeted the two drivers.

“Carlos.” Max said all surprised and also Daniel did look like he wasn’t expecting the Spaniard here in Lando’s room. Finally, the Dutch smiled grateful down at Lando. He was happy for his friend about that he had finally spoken to his team-mate and they had obviously cleared everything. And even when the Brit hadn’t even answered his question, Max said with still a smile on his lips “I see, you are in good hands. Good night you two then.”

After Carlos and Lando had wished them also a good night, Max and Daniel left into the direction they had come from and the two McLaren drivers just wanted to close the door, when they saw how the Dutch took the taller man’s hand and laced their fingers together.

Carlos and Lando did look surprised at each other, before they let the door fall into the lock. “So, maybe we aren’t the only ones.” The young Brit said to his team-mate and Carlos could exactly see the little flame of hope coming back to life in his eyes. “Yeah, maybe. But still..” The Spaniard whispered and the younger one did exactly knew what that meant.

The flame was as quickly gone as it had come, while his eyes looked sadly on the floor. For one quick moment Lando had hoped for them having a chance to be together, like Max and Daniel obviously were. No one knew about them, but they still seemed to be a couple.

“I still don’t get it. I just don’t want to understand it. Why, tell me why we can’t be together?” Lando asked with a frown and maybe also a little angrily. Carlos sighted by that question, not because he was annoyed about his team-mate, because he hated it to say it out loud himself.

“You exactly know why, Lando. This all, it wouldn’t be good for you. Not forever.” The Spaniard tried to explain as good as he could, but he was exhausted and also devastated only by the thought about letting his friend go.

“How do you even want to know what’s good for me? You can’t make that decision for me.” Lando was furious now, when he asked his team-mate with a louder voice than before. This all was bullcrap, just a stupid excuse.

But not only the younger one seemed to be overwhelmed by all these feelings, because also Carlos got louder, when he answered his friend determined “Just imagine what the team will say, what they will do, when they will find out. They will kick you out without you even realizing it so quickly. They don’t need something like the two of us. Latest when one of us will go to another team. They can’t risk it that we exchange secret information, because we are together. And do you really want to risk your biggest dream, your childhood dream about becoming a world champion one day? Because I promise you, you can forget this dream if the team will find out.”

“But you are also my dream.” Lando answered as determined as Carlos, maybe just a little softer and less loud than him. The Spaniard was shocked then and paused for some seconds to eye him closely. “Then you have to decide for one thing.” The Spaniard said dry and without any emotions, even when so many feelings did seethe inside himself like inside a volcano.

“But I want both.” Lando answered confused, he still didn’t get it why he couldn’t have both. “It’s not possible, don’t you get it? It’s. Not. Possible. Do you understand it now?” The older one screamed at him desperately, while clear tears began to water his eyes.

Lando cleared his throat, straightened himself and said with a strong, determined voice “Then I want you.” Suddenly Carlos seemed even more broken than before, even when Lando would have given up everything for him.

“You have no clue what this means. You don’t know what you want.” The Spaniard muttered, while he looked away from his friend. “Of course. I exactly know what I want. I’m not a baby any more. I want you and only _YOU_.” Lando answered as softly as he could, while he was still offended about getting tread like a baby.

Carefully the young Brit wanted to get closer to his friend, wanted to touch his arm, while he said so, but before he could reach Carlos, the older one screamed at him “BUT I DON’T WANT YOU!”

All scared and hurt Lando did shrug away. He hadn’t expected such harsh words from his friend once more and also not such a reaction. Even without wanting it, because Lando had already cried enough the last twenty-four-hours, tears still began to build up in his eyes, while he looked all broken at the man he trusted the most.

The younger one just wanted to run away, get away from here, even when he didn’t know where he should go. This was his room, but maybe he would find some comfort by Max, but he didn’t bother about it now, he just needed to get away from here. Away from Carlos.

But before he could even reach the door, the Spaniard caught his elbow and following also his wrist, where he could hold him back in the very last second. “No, go away! Let me go!” Lando screamed over his shoulder back to his friend, while he tried to get free from his grip.

“No. I won’t ever let you go.” Carlos said more softly now, instead of yelling at his friend again. “Please.” The young racer pleaded hurt but also desperately. “I didn’t mean it like that, Lando.” With everything, he had, the Spaniard tried to make his friend realize it.

“Why do you first tell me you love me and now you say you don’t want me?” Lando managed to whimper between sobs and thick tears running down his cheeks. He was at the end with his straight. The young Brit didn’t even fight back, when his team-mate did lead him away from the door and pressed him carefully against the cold wall instead, his palms resting on top of his shoulders.

“Lando, mi corazon. I _do_ want you, more than anything else, and I _love_ you so much like I have done in my life before, but.. You can’t make this decision on your own.” Carlos told him a slowly and carefully and then, then Lando did finally understand.

Like always, like all the times before he had only thought about himself. About what he wanted. Lando wanted Carlos. He was ready to give up his dream of becoming a world champion for him. He was ready to face their team, the press, the other drivers and everyone else. Lando was ready for it, he was ready to do it all, but what about Carlos?

It didn’t just affect only his life, but also the life from his best friend. Lando just couldn’t make the decision for both of them, he also had to ask Carlos about it. About what he wanted, if he was ready for this all, if he was the same opinion as him, if he was also okay with giving up everything he had built himself up so hard over the last years or if their hearts maybe wanted something different.

There were always two in a relationship, but in Lando’s version there was once again only himself.

And just the look in Carlos’ already so familiar eyes told Lando, that he wasn’t ready for it. That there was something more important in the Spaniard’s life than the young man in front of him. Maybe it was the dream about becoming a world champion, maybe he was afraid about what the other will say or do, when they will find out. It didn’t matter why Carlos couldn’t make this step, Lando had to accept it anyway, because a relationship didn’t work this way. They both needed to want it, not only one.

Tears were also glistening in the Spaniard’s eyes now, shortly before falling over the edge. His thicker lower lip did shake and Lando hated it see him like that. Carlos was scared. Fear, it was something Lando had never seen on him before.

“I’m sorry. But I won’t let this happen. I won’t let you throw away everything you have worked for so hard in your life so far.” Carlos whispered, before he let finally go his tight grip from his friend’s shoulders and pulled away from standing so close to him.

He wanted Lando, more than anything, but it was his own decision to not wanting a relationship with his best friend, because he wanted to protect him. The only reason why he did this all or why he didn’t want it, was because he loved Lando so much. Did make that any sense? No, it didn’t. But still it was the best in the end, for both of them. Even when it broke their hearts.

“Carlos.” Lando whimpered, while his back was still pressed against the wall behind him and he eyed his friend through from his tears blurry view. “I’m sorry, mi corazon. Believe me, I have tried it. But in every scenario, it never ended well.”

“But how can something that feels so good like loving you could ever end bad?” Lando asked, while he made a step forward to his friend. “You need to understand it, Lando.” Carlos said softly, while he reached his hand out for him to touch his arm.

“What if I can’t?” The young Brit asked sadly, when he took his team-mate’s hand into his. “You just have to. For your own good.” Carlos whispered, when he pulled him into a tight hug.

They two of them stood like that, crying in each other arms, for minutes. It was decided before Lando had even known about it. It felt so horrible to be in the arms of the man he loved so much, but he knew at the same time he won’t ever be able to call his own.

“Just promise me you won’t ever forget me.” It was Carlos only wish, he whispered with trembling lips into Lando’s curls. “How could I ever forget you?” The young Brit whined, before he did tear up once more and buried his face into the Spaniards so good-smelling shirt.

Lando could exactly hear his friend’s fast heartbeat, even when they had both thought their hearts weren’t beating any more after everything. Gently Carlos held his young team-mate’s head against his chest, stroking trough his soft curls with his thumb while doing so and also kissing the top of his head with all the love he was able to give.

Quietly Lando still cried in his best friend’s arms, while Carlos cradled him softly. Both had their eyes closed, wanted to soak up as much as possible from this precious moment, when the Spaniard whispered into the young racer’s sweet curls “But tonight it’s only the two of us.”

Lando didn’t know if he should tear up once more or if he should be grateful to be able to spend it least one more night with his team-mate together. He didn’t even have to make that decision, when his shoulders began to shake once more and tears rolled down his cheeks like little rivers, while he looked up at his friend, like the broken, little soul he was.

Teardrops were still hanging on his long lashes and Carlos just couldn’t resist to lean down and kiss his eyes and so also kiss his tears away. Normally the Spaniard did read every wish from his eyes, but his one he just couldn’t make come true. He wasn’t allowed to.

He really couldn’t see the smaller one so sad, not any more today, so he pulled Lando even closer, took his loveable face into his hands and lifted it up all carefully, so they could look deep into each other eyes.

“Don’t be sad any more tonight, mi corazon.” The older one did show him a soft smile, while he stroked carefully his warm cheeks with his thumbs and whipped so the still present tears away from his soft skin. Even when also Lando had tried a smile, he still failed half-way, being too sad about this being their last night together. He didn’t want to let Carlos go, but at the same time the young Brit knew his friend won’t ever let that happen, for Lando’s own best.

But the Spaniard exactly knew about how he could cheer his friend up again, when he brought their lips together, already knowing how much Lando loved it. When Carlos pulled away for one quick moment to change the angle of his head, Lando chased after his lips urgently and caused the Spaniard so to smile to himself.

“Slowly, little one. I won’t go anywhere.” Lando also smiled, even when his cheeks turned lightly pink while doing so. “Just don’t think about tomorrow. We have the whole night.” The young Brit looked thoughtful again, but he did finally node his head, before he got on his tiptoes to reach his friend’s lips again.

After plenty more of these sweet, innocence kisses, Lando took his friend’s hand and leaded him over to his bed. By now he was already longing for his near so much, he couldn’t wait any more to have him close again after such a long time. They both finally got out of their clothes, till they only had their boxers on any more and crawled under the bed sheets. Lando even more relieved about finally being able to lay down, because everything was still spinning around.

They were both laying on their sides and looked deep into each other’s eyes, before Lando broke the silence, when he whispered his name. The older one hummed in response, while he smiled softly at him. “Can I ask you something?” The young Brit just had to know and even when he knew he could have just said it without asking, he still suddenly had the need to do so.

“Sure. Everything you want, mi corazon.” Lando watered his lips, not knowing how to form his question. “Have you also kissed Max or Nico when you were team-mates?” The taller one had to blink at him for some moments to understand his words and their meaning.

“No, mi corazon. I haven’t. It wasn’t the same as with you, they aren’t you. It’s actually a long time ago, since I had my last relationship. You are something very special, mi corazon. You are different than all the others. You are so much better, Lando.” Carlos told him to calm down his nerves.

The Spaniard could understand his friend. Lando thought about him doing always the same to each of his team-mates, but that really wasn’t true. The younger one was so different than all of them, way too precious and pure for this world. He wasn’t just one of many, he was Lando. He was so special.

Even when the younger one did look satisfied with the Spaniard’s answer, he did still drop his head to the ground, because thinking about Carlos having relationships before made him feel sick. Of course, Lando had known that Carlos already must have relationships, but still. It did hurt. Even more than Lando like to admit. He wasn’t the first one to touch his lips, already many had done this. Of course, because Carlos was way too good-looking for not doing so.

But it did still knot his belly sharply, while they both laid in silence and just listened to their own thoughts. Before Carlos finally broke the silence, when he whispered “I have thought they had hurt you. Max and Daniel. That you have asked them to help you. They would have hurt you, mi corazon.” Lando did suck his lower lip between his teeth, being still so damn ashamed about playing with that stupid thought at all.

“But you would never hurt me.” The young Brit announced, but it really wasn’t his intention to change his friend’s mind any more. Lando knew, he didn’t have a chance anymore, and he also wanted to respect Carlos’ decision. It was just a fact for him.

“I’m not so sure about that any more, mi corazon.” The Spaniard answered, before he sighted and rolled on his back, where he placed his arm against his forehead. Lando did frown at him, not getting what he meant with that. “Why? You are the only one who would never hurt me. I trust you.”

“Don’t you think I have already hurt you enough the last twenty-four-hours? I don’t ever want to make you cry again.” It was a question, but Carlos didn’t expect an answer. So Lando kept quiet, he wouldn’t have known what to answer anyway. The Spaniard also didn’t wait for a response, when he added “And I would have definitely hurt you, if you wouldn’t have told me to be still a virgin.”

“But why? I bet you would have been all gentle.” Lando just had to say then, he just couldn’t see Carlos hurting him in any way. “Yeah, I would have been, but way too less. I would have had sex with you with the knowing that you have already done it before. That you know what will happen, that you are already used to the pain, that you wouldn’t be too nervous or even scared. I would have hurt you without even knowing it. And just the thought makes me feel sick. It’s almost like..”

The older one stopped then suddenly, while his eyes watched the ceiling like an exciting movie was playing there. “Like what?” The young Brit asked curious. Carlos kept in his thoughts for some more seconds, before he turned his head to face his team-mate again and he smiled with a mixture of softness and angst at him.

“It would have been like my first time with another man.” Lando was surprised about that admission and he saw how much his best friend did suffer from that memory, but still he kept talking. “Almost like you, but I was really too afraid about telling the man the truth. I didn’t say anything, kept my mouth shut, but I really shouldn’t have done that. I was just so nervous and afraid, I just wanted it to be over without embarrassing myself. It was definitely the wrong decision. I should have told him about it, my first time would have been so much different, so much better. When you told me that moment I had to think about it and that I have almost done the same to you. I hated what the man has done to me, even when it wasn’t his fault, because I haven’t told him. I almost became this man to you. I would have hurt you, even when I never wanted it.”

Now Lando did understand his friend and his actions so much better than before and he had also much compassion for him but also thankfulness, because in the end Carlos had only wanted to protect him, like always. “I’m sorry for what had happened to you.”

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault. I just couldn’t stand the thought about hurting you. I was scared about myself and what my hands would have been able to do. Promise me that you say the truth, when the time will come. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Just the thought about that someone could hurt his little friend did make the Spaniard feel ill and angry at the same time. Right now Lando thought he only wanted him, but one day there will come another man or maybe even a girl he will care for. And he will have sex with. Someone else will give that to him and the Spaniard could just hope for that one being as gently as possible to him.

Carlos was still deep inside his thoughts, probably also had a very sad expression while doing so, when the young racer suddenly said out of nowhere “Can I ask you something else?” Somehow the Spaniard did like his best friend’s newest habit, he was grateful about Lando asking so much. He wanted to give him all the answers he wanted.

“Sure, mi corazon. You can ask me everything you want.” The older one answered, while he rolled on his side to face his team-mate, while Lando did still struggle with himself to form his question.

“I.. I have always thought, that given someone your virginity was something.. I don’t know.. good. Maybe even special. But.. I mean, is it really that bad to be still a virgin? Am I not normal for not having sex with twenty?”

First Carlos was overwhelmed about his question, he didn’t know where to start answering and explaining. “No. Oh god, no, mi corazon. There is really nothing bad about still being a virgin with twenty. It’s more than just okay. Nothing is wrong with you, you are maybe just a little shy, that’s all.”

“But.. I know you would have slept with me without thinking, if I wouldn’t have told you the truth.” The young Brit said still all confused about that, he just couldn’t understand it. Carlos still hated himself for it, but yeah, it was the truth.

“Lando. See, it’s.. You are right, having your first time is very special and I just.. I have forgotten about how young you still are for one quick moment. After you have told me so, I remembered myself again and about how wrong this all was. I didn’t want to take that from you, because yeah I did want to sleep with you, but I really shouldn’t be your first one. I’m not supposed to take that from you.”

“But.. why? I really trust you. Would you rather like to see me with someone else? I don’t understand.” The young racer was already pretty confused and also desperately. If Carlos was serious he really didn’t want to see his little friend with someone else. Hell, he would probably attack the one, if he would lay only one finger on him, but of course he didn’t tell Lando about it, instead he answered

“Because right now you don’t know what you actually want. I could damage you, make you feel very uncomfortable and even scary you so you will be afraid about it for the rest of your life. You just can’t know, if you are gay or not. I’m not good for you. You are way too young for it.”

There was it again and Lando already hated it so much, especially coming from his best friend’s lips. “I’m not too young for it. Does there exist a gay-test or something like that I don’t know about? I don’t feel anything when I look at girls, but I feel the world when I look at you, Carlos. I know what I want. I like men and I want you. Only you.”

The Spaniard just shook his head, like he didn’t even want to listen to him any more. It caused Lando to just get even angrier. Why didn’t he want to understand? He was so sure about it, like nothing in his life before. Why didn’t he listen? “So tell me then, when did you knew about being gay?”

Carlos felt caught, he did purse his lips, before he answered him quietly. “I was eighteen.” The young Brit couldn’t believe his ears any more. What did his friend try to tell him? “So you want to tell me, that you were even two years younger than me, when you found out about being gay, but you tell me now that I can’t be sure about it?”

“It’s not the same, Lando.” The older one whispered with a heavy heart. “Yeah, obvious you are only looking for excuses. I exactly know what I want. I’m not a baby any more, even when everyone and now also you treat me like one. Just tell me that you have never wanted to sleep with him. That _this_ was the big mistake.”

The young racer just wanted to get up from the bed, when Carlos held him back by his wrist and started to talk instantly “Lando, please. Listen. Before I got it I already had sex. With women. I knew I didn’t want them, because I have first tried it. Then I have tried the same with men and it felt so much better. That’s why I knew it when I was only eighteen. But you.. you just can’t know it, because you never have tried it before.”

“But why can’t I try it with you? I mean, why do I have to sleep with women first, when I already like and trust you more than any of them. Maybe it’s different with me. Maybe I don’t even have to try first, before I will get to know what I really want.” Lando tried to explain his friend and Carlos suddenly looked really thoughtful.

“Maybe in a few years, mi corazon.” The Spaniard suggested, but it really wasn’t what the young Brit had wanted to hear. Carlos meant after their Formula One career, after they both had maybe become world champions, after this world here.

“In a few years? But I want you right now.” It was Carlos’ time to avoid his look and Lando was sure about that his friend won’t be alone for long, that he was already the longest time single, because hell, it was Carlos.

“Will you wait for me?” The young racer whimpered between trembling lips and even when Carlos looked up into his eyes again, holding their eye contact for some moments and finally nodded agreeing his head, he still knew about this not being true.

The Spaniard wanted to wait, I really wanted, but he also knew he didn’t have to. Lando will forget about him and the feelings he had for him sooner or later. Right now he thought about them being strong, but they were probably nothing compared to the feelings he will have for someone one day, for the right one.

Tears were falling over the young Brit’s cheeks like little river, when he broke down and quickly looked for comfort in his friend’s arms. Carlos knew himself about that Lando will find someone else in the meantime. He was young and at some point he will give up waiting for him and he will find someone in his age and not some old Spaniard like him. It made himself sad too, but it was the best for his friend. One day he will understand.

But he also wanted him to understand now, at least a little. So Carlos tried to explain his friend the situation once more, while he was still shivering between his arms “There would be the press. Just imagine it. Everyone would ask you about it and would maybe even want you to tell them something in front of hundreds of people. And there would be such disgusting, nasty comments everywhere on the internet.”

“I wouldn’t care.” Lando answered simply between sobs. “You say that now, mi corazon. But you can’t stop or change it any more, when they will find out about it. Believe me, it’s better this way. Even when it hurts. I know.” Carlos just pulled his friend closer then and kissed the top of his head. He wanted to protect him from all of it, even when it meant to not call him his own.

“This way it’s so much easier for you, mi corazon.” The Spaniard whispered well-meant, even when his own words did hurt him like a sharp knife. “But I don’t want it to be easy. I want you.” Lando whined, while he wrapped his arms even tighter around his older team-mate.

And even after everything, there was still one more thing, Carlos had to tell his team-mate, to hopefully get all these stupid thoughts out of his mind he had planted inside there himself “And by the way, you are grown up enough for me. You are so much stronger than you think and I really admire your self-confidence.”

Lovingly the Spaniard stroked Lando’s cheek with the back of his index finger. “I think it’s very cute about you being all clumsy sometimes. You are so much more loveable than you actually think. It’s impossible for someone to hate you, don’t matter what you do or say. And I really, really adore your look-like. I love your cute curls in this messy way so much more.” Carlos moved his fingers through his friend’s brown hair and made him so giggling happily.

Then the Spaniard captured Lando’s sweet face between his hands and looked him deep into his eyes, before he went on “I enjoy it getting lost in these pretty eyes of yours, I love your perfect formed lips, which just has to be made from God’s own hands, I like every freckle and birth mark in your sweet face, I’m in love about the fact that you fit perfectly under my chin and you really make me crazy with that body of yours. Yeah, you are sometimes a baby, but you are also a babe for me, mi corazon.”

Embarrassed about his many compliments, Lando bit down on his lip, while his cheeks began to blush. “It’s true, you are perfect the way you are, perfect in my eyes and I would never ever change anything on you. Can you imagine, I even like your crazy style.” Lando laughed, knowing that Carlos really had to like him, when he said something like that.

“We all need someone like you here. Lando, you are so adorable. Such a sweet and funny young soul. I need you. Don’t ever try to change again and don’t ever think you aren’t enough for me or anyone else, please. Promise me.” He added truthfully, which made Lando smile touched.

“I promise.” He whispered in response and Carlos leaned forward then to place one very long kiss onto his friend’s lips. “I can’t wait to see you growing up, see you win races and become a world champion. I just can’t lose you.” He whispered against the soft, from their kisses wet flesh. Lando smiled while the older one kissed him softly again and again.

The young Brit exactly knew he couldn’t change his friend’s mind any more, but suddenly he didn’t bother about that any more, because they still had this night and Lando will enjoy every second of it. He wanted to take the best out of it, not thinking about anything else than Carlos, till the sun will rise up.

The young racer brought their lips together again. He did start to feel more and more secure with every kiss. He still didn’t know what he was doing, but he just tried his very best. They didn’t make out, because it would feel wrong right now. Instead, they shared deep, open-mouthed, long, soft kisses, which made them feel so warm and loved.

Without much effort, the older one pulled the light body of his team-mate on top of his lap. Lando got slowly used to this pleasure. He became better and better with every kiss, after his firsts were only feather-light. But even when he was far away from being a professional like Carlos, the Spaniard still enjoyed every of his kisses. He had already kissed many people, but no one had kissed like Lando did. It were kisses only the young Brit was able to give and make him feel this way.

Their chests were pressed against each other tightly, not even a piece of paper would have fit between the two of them. They could feel and also hear their fast racing hearts inside their chests, beating the same rhythm. Carlos had placed his flat hands on top of Lando’s bare back, pressing him gently against his body, like the younger one would get out of his arms voluntary.

Lando was sitting on top of his best friend’s middle and could exactly feel him underneath him. And to his own surprise he really wasn’t ashamed, that Carlos could also feel him and how hard he was.

The smaller one had his fingers buried deep inside his best friend’s dark, mane. Pulling lightly onto his strains, when he made him feel all good. “Te amo, Carlos.” Lando whispered against his swollen, smooth lips, when they had to make a little pause when breathing became a problem.

The Spaniard smiled lovingly at him, finding it more than just adorable, whenever the young racer tried to speak in Spanish. “Te amo, mi corazon.” He answered in a whisper and Lando still didn’t know what the second part meant, but it did sound lovingly, like actually everything Carlos said in his mother tongue, so he also liked this.

And in the very next second he didn’t even care about it any more, when Carlos pressed his warm lips against his again. At some point the older one let himself fall against the pillows, taking Lando with him while he did slide down the back of the bed. The young Brit found himself between his best friend’s legs, on top of his strong body.

Lando could have gone on like that forever, after they had already spent a half eternity with giving each other such meaningful kisses and their lips were already all swollen and red from them, but they made a pause and the young racer laid his head on top of his best friend’s comfortable chest.

Absently Carlos stroked with his soft fingertips over his team-mate’s back, drawing lazily little circles into his skin, making him feel so loved and comforted with it. At some point the Spaniard had pulled the blanket over both of their bodies, so they did have it all warm and comfortable.

It felt so indescribably good to get touched so softly and lovingly by his best friends. Goose bumps broke free over his skin, his eyes filled with tears of happiness and he just couldn’t stop to smile to himself, while he listened to the soothing music of Carlos’ heartbeat.

Maybe Lando was only imagine it, maybe it was kind of wishful thinking, but he I thought about his team-mate writing the words _I love you_ into his skin and drawing little hearts all over his back the whole time. The young Brit really didn’t deserve someone like him. Whoever will be able to call Carlos his one day, was the luckiest idiot on the whole world.

Finally, Lando pulled his arms on top of Carlos’ chest, after he had lifted his head, and placed his chin on top of the back of his hands, so they could look into each other’s eyes again. The tips of their noses almost touched, so close they were lying next to each other.

Smiles were playing on their lips, when they didn’t press against each other, while they looked dreamily into the other once eyes. Once again Lando was lost in his team-mate’s eyes and kisses. Carlos still eyed him so intense with his beautiful, dark brown eyes, when he suddenly rolled Lando down from on top of him without any warning and looked down at him now.

It had taken the young Brit by surprise or maybe it was the way the Spaniard watched him with those dark eyes, his smooth, thick lips and a gaze he could make the North Pole melt away with.

Carlos pulled one of his hands pressing into the mattress next to Lando’s head away, just to take his left hand, lacing their fingers together and bringing both of their hands up next to the Brit’s head again. While the older one got down on his elbows to be closer to his best friend, Lando’s lips fell open.

All gently Carlos stroked with his thumb over his team-mate’s fingers, before he brought them closer to his face and kissed them long and slowly, never breaking their intense eye contact.

“You really think you love me?” Carlos whispered, Lando’s hand still so close to his mouth, he could feel his breath against the lightly wet spot where his lips had just covered his skin. “I don’t only think so, I know it. You are the first person I see in the morning, the person I think about the whole day long and the last person I speak to before falling asleep. No matter if we are allowed to or not. I love you, Carlos. For the rest of my life.”

The older one did smile, while tears made his view blurry and he stroked gently his best friend’s warm cheeks. Carlos was Lando’s baby love and he will be it forever. “I love you too, mi corazon. Even when I exactly know I shouldn’t. But I can’t stop myself from loving you. Don’t matter how many times I try to tell myself any different. I love you so much.”

Lando then wrapped his arms over Carlos’ neck, needing his near and warmth more than anything else, while they rested their foreheads against each other. “I don’t want to lose you.” Lando whispered into the darkness of the room. “I promise, you won’t ever lose me.” Carlos tried to comfort him, meaning every word. “But I also don’t want to lose what we had.” The younger one whined in his arms, he couldn’t even imagine a life without Carlos touches and love any more.

Compassionate the Spaniard kissed his forehead and whispered gently “I know, but we just have to, before it’s too late. We can’t go back then. Everything will be good, you will see.” Even when the older one himself wasn’t so sure about it yet. But it just had to turn out well for them. Maybe the world will already look different after the winter break.

“But you won’t go away tonight or? You won’t slip out of my room when I’m asleep, right?” The Brit suddenly asked all worried, before Carlos said quickly to calm down his nerves “I won’t leave your side, mi corazon. I will stay, if you want me to.” Fast and quickly Lando did node his head, which caused the older one to smile even more lovingly down at him.

After, no more words were needed any more, their bodies spoke more words than they both even knew in their two different mother tongues. Even when they deepened their kisses, when they kissed opened mouthed, they still didn’t get any farther. Lando could feel how hard he became himself once more and how hard his friend had also got, but still their hands didn’t move to places where they weren’t allowed to go.

Carlos was very gently and carefully with Lando, because this all was new to him and he didn’t want to pressure or even scary him. He went slow, very slow, but it was exactly what the Spaniard also needed at the moment. Just being able to hold his little team-mate, stroking him gently with his fingertips and kissing his so perfect formed lips.

The Spaniard still laid on top of his best friend’s small body, making sure to not squeeze him, while he supported himself on his elbows. When they had to separate their lips for some moments to get oxygen inside their lungs again, the Spaniard watched the young Brit close once more, like he wasn’t already able to draw his pretty appearance with closed eyes.

Lando’s hair was in his usual mess again, after Carlos had let his fingers slide through his curls so often, his sweet lips were swollen and red from their many kisses and opened a little to breathe through his mouth.

And his eyes, they still looked so innocence up at him, so young, so pure. He didn’t want to let him go. Carlos did frame his face with his palm, looking down at him for some more moments, before he whispered “You are so beautiful.”

And there it was for the first time in his life. This wonderful, warm, tickling feeling deep inside Lando’s body. He had finally arrived, had finally reached the place he had wanted to get already his whole life long. And here it was, right in front of him. It was always Carlos. The Spaniard was his person.

“Sleep with me.” The young Brit suddenly said and shocked the older one with his words. It was not like he would have slept with everyone who would have called him beautiful, but it was what he had always dreamed about. _Carlos_ telling him being beautiful. It was such a great feeling.

“You don’t know what you are asking for, mi corazon.” The Spaniard told him well-meant, but still he didn’t pull away. “Please. We only have this night. And I promise, I won’t ever ask you for it again.” Lando begged, he wanted him, he wanted to be once with him in the most possible way. „I want to have my first time with you. I trust you the most and I know you won’t ever hurt me.”

“You really sure?” Carlos just had to ask one more time, even when he could already read the answer in his eyes. Lando just nodded wildly his head, he was never so sure in his life before. Carlos finally just smiled lovingly back at him, before he leaned down and brought their lips together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo... What do you say? What are your thoughts? How much did you like/hate this chapter?
> 
> I think I should get myself a post office box for all the hate-comments I will get now..
> 
> I hope I made it understandable why Carlos doesn't want or better just can't be with Lando, even when he loves him so much.
> 
> But what do you think - will Carlos sleep with Lando in the next chapter to make at least this one, last wish from him come true, when he already couldn't have him? Do you think Carlos will do that, make him this favour?
> 
> If not, what do you think the next chapter will be about? Their separated future, the day they will meet again after the winter break, a time jump, where we will see what happened to the two of them?
> 
> I can't wait to read your comments (even when I'm afraid about them at the same time)..


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really excited and I can't wait anymore about what you guys will say after reading this. I'm so nervous..

The next morning, Lando’s eyes carefully fluttered opened, but he did squeeze them abruptly shot again, when the daylight coming through the curtains cut into his eyes like a knife. The young racer whined by that feeling and pulled his hand protective over his eyes.

While Lando still tried to get used to the daylight, he asked himself why he still felt so exhausted and tired, even when he had just woken up and he had obviously slept into the middle of the day. He also had to admit about feeling a little unwell and his head did hurt as well.

When the young Brit was finally used to the light, after he had slowly opened his eyes again, he tried to get to know where he actually was. Lando looked confused around the room, still not knowing what had happened and why he felt the awful way he did.

He still blinked sleepily, while he tried to focus at the room around him. Slowly, because he feared about feeling ill if he would move too fast now, he lifted his head and stopped to feel worried and also scared instantly, when he saw Carlos sleeping peacefully next to him.

Lando had to smile to himself, because now he knew he was safe and nothing could harm him, while the Spaniard was close to him. Like a beautiful Spanish prince he was laying there on his belly and slept like an angel. Carlos’ lips were formed into a small pout, his lower lip did look even thicker than usual at this moment.

Very inviting to lean forward and cover his best friend’s perfectly formed lips with his own, like Lando had done so often last night. Last night. And all of the sudden everything came back. All the pictures, conversations, feelings and memories from the events of last night did hit him like a hard slap into his face.

And from one second to the other Lando felt ill and terrible once again. Everything, just everything came back into his mind and he was simply overwhelmed about it all. No, he could almost remember about everything again, except the very last happening, before he had obviously fallen asleep.

Feeling more and more unwell with every second, Lando carefully tried to roll onto his back, feeling a little dizzy while doing so, but that was it already. He had actually expected to feel something more, something else, after..

The young Brit tried, he really tried, but he just couldn’t bring himself to remember about how it was. Having sex with Carlos. Having his first time with him together, his first time in general. It was a shame he couldn’t remember just one second of it.

What was wrong with him? Was it maybe his hangover, even when it really wasn’t that bad like in Mexico? The last thing he could remember was their kiss, after Lando had nodded to his friend’s question, if he was really sure about it.

Curious the young racer looked under the bedsheets covering his body. Like he had gone to bed yesterday, he was still wearing his boxers and wasn’t completely naked like he had actually thought to be. He began to move carefully, expecting to feel something.

He tried to roll his hip, to squeeze his legs together, to arch his back and pull his butt up a little, but there wasn’t anything. There wasn’t any pain at all. He felt like usual, nothing different.

Lando had always thought about the first time being a little painful, like he had already heard so often. Why didn’t he feel any pain or better not anything at all? Why wasn’t he sore or felt a pull or whatever you should feel after having your first time just hours ago.

Maybe Carlos was so gentle with him, that he just didn’t have any pain right now. But still, the young racer did wonder about it, while he kept moving his body under the sheets and tried very hard to remember about what had happened, while he stared up at the ceiling.

Lando hadn’t even noticed Carlos waking up slowly next to him and then watching him close. “Are you feeling ill, mi corazon?” The Spaniard finally asked him worriedly into the silence, which almost caused Lando to jump, because he was so focused to remember.

Slowly the younger one moved his head to face his team-mate. His thoughtful expression faded quickly away, when their eyes met and his lips formed a still sleepy but also sweet smile.

“Good morning.” Carlos added, before he rolled onto his back as well, stretched himself and finally got onto his side to eye his friend even closer. “Morning.” The young Brit also greeted him, before he answered his question “No, I’m feeling alright. That’s it actually.”

Lando looked back up at the ceiling and Carlos did support himself on his elbow to get a better look at the younger one. “What do you mean, mi corazon?” He asked confused and also a little concerned. Lando thought about it for some moments, before he had finally found the right words and said it out loud.

“It’s just.. I have always thought about the first time.. I don’t know.. hurting, at least a little, but right now I don’t feel anything. I also can’t remember about it. I know, they say the first time was never good, but.. It was special. It was with you and it wasn’t only our first time, but also our..” Lando stopped then, trying to swallow down the building up tears. When he felt strong enough to continue, he looked over into Carlos’ eyes and said with a lightly shaking voice. “I can’t remember one second about it.”

The young Brit didn’t know if he should smile at his older team-mate or cry. It was their last night together, the only night that did count. Carlos was willing to give that to him and he was so stupid drunk to forget everything instantly again and not being able to remember about it again. They won’t ever have such a chance again, they won’t ever have sex together again. It was all over now and the young Brit didn’t have any sweet memories back for the rest of his life.

Lovingly Carlos reached over to stroke his cheek and Lando closed his eyes instantly by the contact, enjoying every second of it. “Oh, mi corazon. You really don’t remember much about last night, right?” The Spaniard said with a smile on his lips and the younger one shook his head disappointed. “I remember everything but nothing about what had happened after the kiss. I wish I could.”

Carlos placed his warm hand at his younger team-mate’s neck, when he told him “We didn’t have sex, mi corazon.” Lando was completely shocked then, when he stared with a wide opened mouth at his friend, unable to understand the meaning behind his words.

After staring a half eternity like that at his friend, the young racer had to admit, that he wasn’t laying. Of course, Carlos wasn’t. He did never lie to him. “We.. we didn’t have slept together?” Lando still had to ask, because he didn’t want to believe it. He would have even preferred it to not remember anything about it, than not having any sex at all with his friend.

The Spaniard shook his head. He didn’t even have to say anything more, because it explained already everything. Why the young Brit hadn’t any pain and also no memories, because there just wasn’t anything to remember about. But still he asked all shocked and confused “But.. why? I have thought you want me too and you have agreed to it with kissing me, when I told you I was one hundred percent sure about it. It was our last night, our last chance, why..”

Carlos did try to calm down his nerves with taking his face into his palms and stroking gently with his thumbs over the soft skin of his cheeks. The Spaniard did cup Lando’s face like he did hold his whole world between his palms and maybe, maybe this was true. “Because I didn’t want to take advantage of you, when you are drunk.”

“But.. I have wanted it. More than anything. I have wanted to sleep with you..” Lando whispered desperately, while he could feel some tears falling over the edge of his eyes. “I know, mi corazon. It has taken me almost the whole night long to explain you that we won’t have sex. So long till you have finally fallen asleep all exhausted. But listen, it’s just not that easy. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or even hurt you. You really shouldn’t be drunk by your first time. Like you have said, it’s something special, something you shouldn’t rush or just make. It needs time.”

Yeah, time they didn’t have any more. It was over, it was their last night together and Lando couldn’t even describe with words how sad this all made him. Clear tears rolled down to Lando’s chin, while his lower lip was shaking badly and he was unable to form any words any more.

“Don’t cry, mi corazon. Don’t cry.” Carlos whispered, while he pulled his younger team-mate against his body and kissed the top of his head. It were the last moments, before the older one had to leave. Even without saying it out loud, Lando knew it. He knew this was their good-bye after everything. The smaller one wrapped his arms tightly around the Spaniard’s belly, not willing to ever let him go.

When Carlos looked down at the young man still crying quietly against his chest and their eyes met, he smiled this heart-melting smile down at him, before he leaned down to bring their lips together for one last time. The young Brit did sob after the contact, whimpered at the lost. All Lando ever wanted was him. And now it was over.

And all what Carlos did was smiling and looking so lovingly and adoring down at him, like this wasn’t their final good-bye, their last kiss ever, like it didn’t hurt him as much as Lando. Gently the Spaniard stroked through his messy curls, before he said with still that warm smile on his lips, like he couldn’t wait any more.

“If you want and you are still really sure about it, you can visit me at home in Spain during the off season and we figure this out. Together.”

“Huh?” Lando couldn’t believe his ears. What had his friend just said? The older one just kept on smiling at him, not saying it once more, because the young racer had heard him right. “You.. you mean.. you would like me to.. but.. I have thought we aren’t allowed to.. we aren’t supposed to be.. together.” Lando stammered overwhelmed, clear tears running out of his eyes without any stop in the meantime.

Carlos did catch his teardrops easily and whipped them carefully with his thumb away. “I know, mi corazon, but I have thought the whole night about it. The team can’t throw us out so easily, not in the time we are living right now. Think about the shitstorm and the problems they will get, when it will come out that they have fired their two drivers, because their only violation was about being gay and being together. And fuck about what the press will say, what the other driver will think, fuck about everyone. Because you won’t be alone, you won’t have to handle it all by yourself. You have me and I have you. We are so much stronger than they are. And.. I can’t let you go, not any more, not after everything. I love you so much and it already hurts way too much to only thinking about letting you go. We can do this Lando, we can do this if you really want it. But only together.”

Lando kept on staring with an opened mouth at him, he still couldn’t believe his words. They did sound like music, like a symphony, way too perfect to be true. And suddenly it did all sound so easy, so logical, it all made sense now.

“So, what do you think, _my_ little one?” The Spaniard asked, even when he already knew the answer, but still he wanted to hear it from his friend himself. Of course, the young Brit had noticed the change in the way he had called him. It was only a simple word, but it did change everything.

Lando was now Carlos’ little one and only _his_, and no one else’s.

Slowly his friend’s words and their life changing meaning did seep into his head. And once Lando had got it, he actually wanted to stand up and jump up and down on the bed like a little kid, but he knew his state probably won’t let that happen. So he found himself a better way to show his joy, when he couldn’t hold himself back any more and literary throw himself at his best friend and wrapped his arms as tight as never before around his neck.

First the young Brit wasn’t able to form any words, while he was crying and sobbing into the crotch of Carlos’ neck. The older one hugged him back with everything he had, cradled him softly in his arms and moved with his warm palm up and down his younger team-mates shaking back.

Finally, finally they have found to each other. And now it wasn’t only like they were holding their lives in their arms, they were really literally holding their lives, their biggest dreams, their reasons in their arms. And hell, they won’t ever let go again.

Like his reaction, his sobs, his tears weren’t already answer enough, Lando somehow managed to whimper between his still trembling lips “Yes. Yes. Yes.” He repeated it over and over again, not able to pull back just yet. Maybe he was afraid about this here being just a dream, that Carlos only told him so, to calm down his nerves and he will be gone again, if he would stop holding him like that. But it was Carlos, _his_ Carlos. And like he had already said, Carlos did never lie to him.

The older one let Lando cry out in his arms, while Carlos’ own tears fell down into the young Brit’s curly hair. The Spaniard tried to calm his best friend down with placing kisses into his curls and whispering the words into his ear, that they will be good and will find a way to be happy, together.

When Lando had finally calmed down enough and he was able to lift his head to look his friend in the eyes, Carlos was almost surprised about seeing him smiling like the sun, even when there were still so many teardrops and tracks present in his sweet face.

The younger once voice was still shaking, but he just had to say it out loud, it did feel so good “Yes. I would really, really, really like to do that. To do this all with you together.” They both smiled each other, new tears already glistening in both of their eyes and a wild racing heart like never before.

Once again without any warning, Lando closed the distance between the two of them, when he covered his lips maybe a little too stormy on top of his favourite Spaniard’s once, but he just didn’t have himself under control any more. How could he even, after his biggest dream had come true?

Still kissing, Carlos let his fingers slide into Lando’s curls and carefully pushed him down onto the mattress to kiss him even deeper and more expressive. It was when breathing became a problem, when they had to pull away and Carlos eyed Lando’s face closely.

Still breathless, the young Brit told his friend in disbelief “I can’t believe I’m kissing the sixth best Formula One racer in the world.” They both smirked wide at each other, but suddenly Lando’s expression changed, when he quickly added “Oh god, I’m so sorry Carlos. I’m an idiot, I still haven’t congratulated you about it.”

“Don’t worry, mi corazon. The biggest win I have actually just got minutes ago. Because I can’t believe I’m kissing the meme lord.” Lando giggled already happily again at this and Carlos couldn’t tell with words how much he adored this sound. “And I’m sorry for.. you know.”

Of course, Lando knew what his friend meant. About acting like a real rookie and let Checo past him in one of the last corners of the season. “It’s okay. Suddenly it doesn’t bother me so much any more. I don’t know why.” The young Brit winked at his friend, before Carlos tickled his rips.

“I have never seen someone so smiling like you right now, while tears are rolling down your cheeks like little rivers.” The Spaniard noticed, before he leaned down to kiss every teardrop away from his sweet face and following he even placed a soft, warm kiss on top of his closed eyelids.

Afterwards Carlos looked at his work, but new clear tears were already glistening in Lando’s eyes again, so his masterpiece won’t last long. “You know, Lando, you are sometimes a baby, but now you are _my_ baby.”

Lando giggled once more and even blushed lightly, he still needed to get used to such kind of compliments from him. “And you are my Spanish God and sometimes also a dork.” Lando answered, while he smiled and cried tears of happiness at the same time.

“I know, mi carzon. I’m sorry for taking me so long to finally get it, to understand it. It would have saved us many tears and sorrow. I’m so sorry.” Now it was Carlos, who was crying with a smile on his shaking lips, while his tears dropped onto Lando. Lovingly the young racer framed his face with his still shaking hands and pulled himself carefully up to his best friend, till he reached his forehead and placed a soft kiss on top of it.

Both of Carlos’ cheeks did follow next and finally also a very long and deep kiss onto his beautiful lips. “Don’t worry, it’s over. I’m the happiest man in the whole world right now.” Lando whispered against his team-mate’s lightly wet lips.

“Second happiest, mi carozan.” Carlos did response, before he brought their lips together again and they could both feel each other’s smile under their sensible flesh. Silent tears of happiness did still run down the Spaniard’s cheeks and dropped onto Lando’s face, where they did blend with the young Brit’s own tears.

“I still can’t believe it, Carlos.” Lando whispered with waves of tears glistening in his eyes and his expression told the Spaniard how surprised his friend still was about his change of mind. “Believe me, mi corazon. We can really try it. We can try everything you want, till you are one hundred percent sure about it.” Carlos leaned down to kiss his team-mate’s nose, still looking Lando deep into the eyes.

“Do you really think you want that? I mean, will you really want to spend so much time and effort to.. to show me? Will you have so much patient with me?” Lando’s cheeks blushed lightly then, even when hours ago he had literary begged Carlos to have sex with him. But now after the alcohol did slowly leave his body again, he became all uncomfortable by that topic again. Lando wouldn’t be Lando if he wouldn’t blush, he also can’t even take the word _sex_ into his mouth any more now.

When the Spaniard smiled, the young racer’s cheeks became even darker. Carlos brushed with the top of his nose against his best friend’s cute nose and stroked him carefully. “Yeah, I’m sure if you are sure, mi corazon. I will show you everything you want.”

“Why are you doing this?” Lando asked confused, because once more he was the taker, taking everything from his friend, while Carlos was only the giver, like always. How was he still willing to do that after everything? “Because I have never thought to be able to love someone so small so much. That’s why, mi corazon. And I don’t want you to get hurt.”

The young Brit then realized, that he still had to learn much about what it meant to _love_ someone. What you were willing to give, if you really, really care about someone. His best friend wanted to make this all, because he wanted to help him find out what he really wanted, who he wanted to be.

Even with the knowing, that in the end Carlos could even get hurt, if his team-mate will find out that this wasn’t what he actually wanted, the Spaniard was willing to give that all for him. Lando knew it won’t be easy for his friend, but he wanted to give Carlos also finally something back after everything. Not only should he be made happy here.

But deep inside himself Lando already knew since ages what he really wanted. He liked men and he wanted Carlos, because he had feelings for him like he never had in his life before and each of these feelings made him a better person.

“Gracias, Carlos. Thank you so much.” Lando whispered, unable to form into words how grateful he actually was for everything his friend was willing to give him. After plenty more long and deep kisses, they eventually pulled away and had to smile, while they whipped each other’s tears away from their overjoyed faces.

Carlos finally rolled down from his friend’s small body and laid himself next to him. Lando cuddled instantly close to the Spaniard’s warm, smooth body, while the older one placed his arms over his shoulders to pull him even closer.

Absently he moved his fingers through the young racer’s curls, making him so all soft and sleepy with it. Lando enjoyed every of his team-mate’s strokes with closed eyelids, when they suddenly felt so heavy. After all these feelings in the last days and the climax now, he felt so tired and exhausted from one second to the other and also so damn relieved.

After a long yawn from him, Carlos smirked to himself and whispered close to his forehead “We still have plenty of time, till we have to get to the airport. Let us sleep some more.” Land snuggled even tighter under his chin then and it was already answer enough for the older one.

Gently Carlos pulled the warm blanket closer around his younger friend, before he leaned down and kissed lovingly Lando’s already relaxed and in a pout formed lips. “I love you so much, mi corazon.” Once again the young Brit smiled by this touch of his friend. With his last power he opened his eyes a split and looked as happy as never before in his life up the Spaniard.

“God, and how much I love you.” They shared one last smile, before Carlos buried his nose deep inside Lando’s curls to inhale his scent and feel at home. It was already quiet since minutes and the older one had actually thought that his team-mate had already fallen asleep, the Spaniard himself was also close to enter the land of dreams, when suddenly Lando whispered his name with a sleepy voice.

“Carlos?” The older one hummed in response, so the Brit continued “What does _mi corazon_ actually mean?” The Spaniard smiled to himself, because it was the most honest thing he had ever said out loud. “It means, you are my heart, Lando. _You are my heart_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) :) :) :) :)
> 
> Yup, I have lied to you once again and all the time (God, I'm such a horrible person, but this time I feel really, really bad about it).
> 
> Lando and Carlos were always suppose to be together, since I have written the very first word of this story back in September last year.
> 
> If you know me (and my works), there is always a happy end in my stories. I just can't end it all sad, which brings me to the next point - I don't know if you have noticed it, but I have changed the status of this story to 'complete', BUT don't worry - this really ISN'T the end of it!  
I just wanted to finish this phase of their lives with this chapter. I want to add another story to this serie and I also will. 
> 
> But before I will start to write about the continuation, I want to upload two OS next (both are already written) and also another multi-chapter-story. And maybe I will start to write/upload the continuation about this story, while uploading the next multi-chapter-story. I just don't know when exactly, but I will. I promise.
> 
> But that's the future, let's talk about the presence - what do you think about this chapter? Are you still mad at me? :D What do you say about their decision and how do you think it will turn out? Or was it even a bad idea to try it? Will this all turn out good for them or will it break them apart?
> 
> Anyway, I just want to thank you all sooooo much for making this the best time of my life so far!!! This story turned out to be my favourite work ever and the biggest reason for that is you! All your feedbacks, kudos and the large number of hits really got me. You are all so amazing and I can't even describe with words how much this all means to me.  
I love everyone of you and also best want to give you all a long, bone-breaking hug - this really means the world to me!!! <3 <3 <3
> 
> So once again, thank you soooo much for everything!!!!!
> 
> P.s. You can also find me on Tumblr >bethyl-we-will-be-good< I don't know why you should follow me, but if you are ever searching for someone to talk to, you can write me everytime. If you want to write about this story, Carlos, Lando or the next story in this serie, whatever it is, please feel free and just send me message to keep in touch.
> 
> I just hope that you guys don't lose interest about what will happen next to the two of them in this little world I have built myself and I hope I can somehow animate you to read the next story of this seris as well.  
Till then, you will definitelly hear from me with other stories and maybe you also enjoy to read them as well.
> 
> So, stay safe everyone and I love you all so much! <3


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